Obviously
by NozzleTops
Summary: If asked, Axel would simply say he first laid eyes on the blonde in a laundromat. He wouldn't mention their more than a little rocky and sometimes violent-Who knew Blondie had so much pent up rage?-start. AkuRoku
1. Situations are irrelevant

Diclaimer: Do not want. Well, I do. But, sadly, I don't have. Kingdom Hearts isn't mine.

A/N: Sorry for the less than desirable writing and slight cracktastic theme around this chapter. Next will be better:D

And I promise this isn't as crazy as it seems right off the bat.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1:<strong> Situations are irrelevant

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><p>Axel chewed on the stick in his mouth as he stared at the rotating mix of clothes, water, and detergent absentmindedly. Really, he should've thought to wash his clothes before packing up and hauling ass out of his parent's place a few states away. It would've made things a whole hell of a lot easier, that's for sure.<p>

But here he was, stuck doing laundry on the last Saturday before he was to start his first semester at Hollow Bastion University. Saturday night, to be exact. What he should've been doing was enjoying the night life and living it up at a local club or bar. He knew a few people in the area, and maybe he could've met up with his roommate…whom he had, oddly enough, yet to meet.

He had moved into the apartment a week and a half ago, finished unpacking last night, and had been stuck at the Laundromat since eight in the morning doing laundry. It was now twelve hours later, and there he sat with a pocket still full of quarters and bags undoubtedly gathering under his eyes.

College life sucked already. He missed the days where his mom would shout down to him to come grab his laundry basket sitting on the worn brown couch of their living room, piled to the brim with carious articles of his clothing. And he used to _complain_ about having to _fold_ them _himself_. This was so much worse. So, _so_ much worse.

They say you don't appreciate something until it's gone.

Groaning quietly, he leaned back in his seat and stretched his long legs in front of him, taking the time to examine his sneakers. God damn, the things were nasty. In his senior year of high school he had, apparently, thought it was cool to write all over the toes and sides of his converse in any bout of boredom. The ending result was them looking like a heaping pile of tattered shit, littered with crude doodles of flames and 'profound' lyrics and quotes.

With his first paycheck, shoes were going to be bought.

Axel squinted at the digital clock across the small Laundromat and sighed as the small red hand ticked on by. The washing machine dinged and he hoisted himself from his seat to switch the load around. After shoving in another load, his second to last, he noted with glee, and putting the previous one in an adjacent drier, he tossed the cleanest of his clothes into a nearby basket and took up his seat once more. Oh yeah, this was the _life_.

His last load was running in the drier and he had sprawled himself across the expanse of five chairs, arm thrown over his eyes, when the door to the Laundromat flung open for the first time since his arrival earlier that morning. Apparently, no one else deemed Saturday 'laundry day'. Whatever, more for him. Because he knew that only the coolest kids did their laundry on Saturdays rather than hanging out with their friends and being social—honestly, who wanted to spend their time doing _that_?

So, naturally, the person who walked in_ must_ have been apart of the cool kids club. And if he wasn't? Well, Axel would just have to invite him. They could go out for dinner and discuss the next club meeting. Perhaps they could even have it at the Laundromat the following Saturday. It could become a tradition! Oh, joy, happy day.

"Motherfucking ball sacks,"

Axel suppressed a surprised snort at the sudden profanity that flew out into the silence. He moved his arms slightly and cracked open an eye to see…an ass wiggling in his face. Well not in his face, per se, and it wasn't exactly wiggling, but it was still there. More like on the other side of the Laundromat, remaining perfectly still as the owner of said ass bent over to pick something up off the floor.

"Sorry about that," The person said as they straightened up, holding the retrieved object between their ear and shoulder as they rummaged through their pockets. It would be safe to assume the person was a male, or a testosterone-filled girl…Axel bet on the first.

"Yeah, I just dropped my phone," The man (boy?) said into the device as he ran a hand through a mess of frighteningly spiky blonde locks—like Axel was one to talk with his own head of dangerous crimson spikes. He made his way over to one of the machines and popped in two quarters. He bent down once more and began rummaging through what Axel presumed to be his laundry bag as he continued to talk on the phone. "I'll just be a bit…An hour tops…Oh, because you're so busy…Uh huh, _sure,_" He gave a small laugh as he slammed the door of the machine closed and stabbed at the start button after staring at the contraption for a few moments and messing with the knob.

"Yeah, I'll be quick. See ya," he shook his head slightly as he pocketed the phone. Muttering something under his breath he turned and leaned against the wall of washing machine and driers. He was raking a hand through his hair again when his gaze landed on Axel. "Uh…hi?"

_Well, hello there, beautiful._

Axel bit back the particularly…creepy remark as he sat up. Over twelve hours in a Laundromat would do that to you. Drive you crazy, that is. To the point where such creepy comments even crossed your mind. And then, you proceeded to actually think about how crazy you must be going to have thought such a thing in the first place. And then you start _thinking_ and thinking about it…

"Yo," Axel greeted briefly as he limited himself to taking up only two chairs. For the record, his ass was not that big. It was quite small, in fact. To the point where people thought they were original when they made anorexic and bulimic jokes, going around calling him 'twiggy'. Ha ha, so fucking funny. Well, thing was he would rather be scrawny (not to say that he was, or anything, no. He definitely had some muscle definition going on…somewhere. It just took a bit to find it) than morbidly obese. Funny thing was that the very same people who seemed to enjoy making fun of his weight (or lack thereof) were just that.

"You don't look like a hobo," the blonde commented offhandedly. Axel stared at him blankly.

"Because…I'm not?" he tried, eyeing the other warily.

"Then why were you sleeping there?"

"Not sleeping," Axel jabbed a thumb over his should at the machine the two machines that were rattling with his clothes inside. "Laundry."

"Ah," the blonde said as he plopped down into one of the chairs that were set up back-to-back with Axel's row. "This _is_ a Laundromat, isn't it?"

"No, it's a gay strip club," Axel rolled his eyes.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? I mean, you're _obviously _a flamer,"

Axel snapped his attention to the blonde, lips parted and ready to snarl out a nasty response when he noticed the small smile playing across said blonde's face as he eyed Axel's red hair. Hardy har, motherfucking, har.

"_Funny_," Axel hissed.

The blonde shrugged, "I thought so, too," He looked as if he was about to say something else when the front door flew open once more. Oh ho ho, so now the party was _really_ starting. The secret night life of the Laundromat was finally coming to light and revealing itself to Axel. Score!

…God, he needed to get out of this place.

The blonde grimaced as a thin man walked in, the few chains that hung on his jeans rattling. He was tall, probably just a few inches shorter than Axel, with platinum hair that fell past his shoulders and bangs falling into his poignant aquamarine eyes. A small smirk curled the man's thin lips as he looked at the blonde.

"Rox, my man," he greeted as he strolled over to the blonde—presumably 'Rox'. He wasted no time in stripping off his shirt, exposing his milky, _toned_, Axel noted with a tinge of jealousy, abdomen to the world as the tank top underneath rose up. Wasn't there something about public indecency?

The blonde, however, seemed completely unperturbed.

"Give me fifty cents," the silver-haired man said, holding a ring-adorned hand out.

Rox raised a brow, "My, my, Riku, is business _that_ bad? Seems pretty cheap, even for you,"

"Shut the fuck up," the other snorted, snapping his fingers. Rox just stared at him, a light smirk ghosting his lips. Riku rolled his eyes and glanced over his shoulder at the rumbling machine behind him and a moment later was ripping open the door prematurely. The blonde was up in an instant.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Cleaning my shirt," he replied shortly, shifting through the articles of clothing inside. "These are whites, right?" He answered his own question a second later when he pulled out a pair of checkered white and black boxers. "Yup, Saturday is tight-y white-y day,"

"What the _hell_, Riku?"

"I fell in a puddle," the silverette said simply, tossing his shirt in and closing the door once more.

"What?"

"I fell into a puddle. My shirt needs to be cleaned,"

"You look perfectly fucking clean to me," the blonde spat.

"That's because it dried. Still reeks, though,"

"You couldn't have gone home and changed?"

"…Could've. But I didn't,"

"Clearly,"

Silence. And then…

"You _fell_ into a _puddle_?"

"Not exactly…" Riku said, tossing his hair over his shoulder.

"Not exactly?"

"More like it fell on me,"

"Riku…" the blonde sighed. "What the fuck,"

"A car drove by and splashed water up on me,"

Rox rolled his eyes. "Why didn't you say that in the first place?"

"I thought you'd understand," he replied with a shrug.

"Obviously not,"

Amidst the…bantering of the odd pair, Axel's machine started dinging. He quickly rose to his feet, eager to get out of the Laundromat, and began shoving the last of his dry clothes into one of his many laundry bags. Five trips back and forth to his shitty old sedan, and he was finally loaded up. Fleeting words reached his ears as he left the small building.

"…Then lick it off, I don't give a damn!"

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><p>College…was just as boring as it was made out to be. Not made out to be by those crazy crack-heads who were drunk 57% of the time and high the other 43%, who partied every night and just barely managed to coast their way through each semester—undoubtedly with some help from mommy and daddy. No, college was just like those people with bags under their eyes and hands shaking from coffee-overdose said it was. It was hell.<p>

The professors were either crazy, slightly off their rocker, or boring as all fuck. Then there was always the prized teacher who might as well come in with a squirrel tail hanging out of their mouth and blood splattered all over their clothes. Because he swore to motherfucking god that Prof. Seymour was a werewolf or some other mythological shit.

As it turned out, Mister Physco 'look-at-my-abs-I-like-to-take-my-shirt-off-in-public-places' ended up being a regular occurrence for him. With his shirt on, of course. Granted, Axel had wanted to slam his nose into face and rip his entrails out the first week, but he wasn't so bad after a while. Dare he say…they actually got along. It was a last resort type thing for the both of them, having to see each other's stupid face (Riku was the only one with the stupid face, for the record. Axel was one-hundred percent stupid face free) every day and not really having anyone else to talk to. And of course the threat to be suspended for the semester if they started one more verbal brawl was always a good push in the right direction.

Axel hadn't seen much of Blondie-what's-his-face around campus. Correction, he hadn't seen him at all. It wasn't much of a surprise, and didn't dwell on the subject too long. It had been a traumatic experience, any way.

The thing that bothered him the most was that a month into the school year, and he was still roommate-less. Not that he minded or anything, but it was kind of…unsettling. He didn't know who the jerk off was but still found himself zoning out at random intervals during lectures wondering if the guy had been victim to an axe-murderer and if AxeI was next.

Well, whatever. More room for him and no one to nag him for having his shit all over the place.

Tuesdays were work days. Work days meant sitting behind a counter from 4 to 8 at night, being bored into fucking oblivion whilst he imagined little goblins skittering through the shelves and close-lining each other. And then there was always the option of doing his assignment for the weekly lab. Which was exactly what he was doing when Demyx, in all his bright, sun-shiny, faggot-filled glory, trounced into the used book store where Axel worked.

God damn, he loved that man.

Demyx flashed a grin as he slammed a steaming cup of whatever-the-hell it was in front of the redhead and hopped up to sit on the counter. He swung his legs back and forth as he tilted his head back, grinning.

"Demyx, marry me, will you?" Axel asked after taking a long swig of the drink. If it made him a flaming homosexual for loving caramel macchiatos, then so be it.

"Sorry, mate, I'm saving myself for someone sexy," he drawled, kicking his feet up and practically laying across the counter. Not like anyone was planning on buying anything any time soon. The only time people ever came in was when their Lit. Professors decided to be funny and assign them some ancient piece of text to read over the weekend. And even then, being the poor college students they were, they would sit in one of the aisles for the entire day and read it there.

"I _am_ sexy," Axel gasped, appalled. "I'm…I'm the sexiest thing since sex came to sexy-town!"

"My ass," Demyx laughed as he rolled onto his back and snatched a book from atop on of the nearby return piles he had yet to reshelf.

"Story time," he hummed to himself, flipping through the book. He cleared his throat as he held the book high above his head.

"Once upon a time there was a man named Meyd. Meyd was, naturally, drop dead sexy because he was the prince of party rock and everyone wanted his hot bod. One day, Meyd was bored as fuck so he went to go visit his not-as-sexy-but-still-pretty-damn-hot friend Lea. As it turned out, Lea was pretty fucking bored to. In the end, the two fine-ass men said 'fuck it' and went off to party all night," he closed the book and tossed it in the general direction of behind him. "The end,"

"Sorry, Dem, but I have to finish my shift," Axel said, glaring at the words before him. _When ions bond in the hazardous environment of blah mother fucking blah…_

"Obviously, I was talking about some hot guy named Meyd who probably has super sexy hair, and his friend Lea. God, Axel, not everything has to be about you," Axel snorted as Demyx made an attempt at some lame flip of hair over his shoulder. In the end, it only looked like he had some unfortunate form of turrets since his dirty-blonde fohawk _thing_ barely reached past the nape of his neck.

"Sure, sure," Axel said, waving him off. After chewing on the end of his pencil for a few moments, he spoke again, "Hey, Dem…"

Demyx lifted his head slightly and looked past his phone at Axel. He cocked a brow. "Chyeah?"

"So…A _mixture of morphine and an inert solid is analyzed by combustion with oxygen. The unbalanced equation C17 H19 NO3 + O2 to CO2 + H2O + NO2. The inert solid does not react with oxygen. If 4.0 grams of the mixture yields 8.72 grams of CO2 calculate the percent morphine and mass in the mixture_…I balanced the equation and junk, but what do they want me to do now?"

The blonde blinked, a pained look crossing his face, "You're killing me, man," he groaned. "What the hell _is_ that shit, anyway?"

"Chemistry."

"Gross."

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><p>The next time Demyx wanted to go hit on some girls at Radiant Garden, Axel would kindly, and with the utmost compassion, tell him to go fuck himself. Because those bitches were scary as fuck, and even if they hadn't been, their boyfriends were nearing seven motherfucking feet, and were made of muscle and protein shakes. Axel, personally, was skinny as all hell and, even though he made it a point to work out every now and again, he would've been snapped like a twig. Especially since Demyx would prove to be useless, having run like a little girl who shit his pants the minute the two burly men came insight.<p>

Axel ran like hell, too, he had just tried to save some face before running away screaming.

The redhead slumped against the door to his apartment, panting heavily. He groaned as he fished his keys out of his pocket and fumbled with the small pieces, fingers still trembling from the sprint across town. Sure, he could've stopped running after the first two minutes when he realized the guys weren't following him, but where would the fun in _that_ be? All he wanted now was to drag his scrawny ass to bed and lay there for a few hours.

After a good ten minutes of struggling, he finally managed to grasp the correct to and shove it into the lock, successfully entering his apartment. Score one Axel.

"Home, sweet, home," he mumbled, tossing his bag to the side. Tripping over himself, he made it safely to the adjacent kitchen and snatched a water bottle form the fridge before starting toward the hall. He would just lay down for fifteen minutes…an hour tops. Then he would haul ass out of bed and get started on his assignments for next week. Then again he did have the entire weekend to work on it, and he didn't have any classes tomorrow…

Oh decisions, decisions.

Proceeding down the hall toward his room, Axel Strey would admit that he nearly crapped himself. Not just for fun, or anything. And it wasn't like he couldn't control his bowl movements and needed Depends. No, he clenched his cheeks and dove into the nearest room because there was a murderer standing at the end of the hall.

Looking back on it later, he would admit that it had been a pretty bad ass dive, ignoring the fact that he had crashed into his desk head first. Because that was but a minor detail.

Axel poked his head out past the doorway hesitantly and peaked down into what was supposed to be an empty bedroom. Said bedroom was, in fact, not empty, and instead filled with a small figure that had his back to him, black hood pulled over his head, and a long, gleaming blade cradled carefully in his hand as he undoubtedly planned Axel's bloody demise. So, he had been wrong. The guy hadn't been an axe-murderer; he was more into the splicer-dicer type thing.

He still wasn't so chill with his life ending before he had gotten the chance to genuinely fuck it up.

An army crawl across the room later, and Axel had successfully gotten his hands on the aluminum bat that was propped up in the corner of his bedroom. The thing was beat up, scratched and dented from one too many baseballs, but he figured it would do a good enough job at knocking the murderer unconscious. And if it didn't, he could always run and scream like a little girl. Or jump out the window. Forget the fact that he was on the seventh floor, no bid deal, or anything.

Right about this time he imagined dramatic suspense filled music would played in the background as he crept down the hall. He would've started humming it, too, if he hadn't though it would blow his cover. Never mind that the guy should've heard him when he first slammed the front door or crashed into his bedroom, he was probably just waiting until the last minute to strike. It was too bad that Axel was well-versed in the ways of a being a motherfucking badass and couldn't be taken down so easily.

Which is exactly why, as he raised the bat high above his head, ready to go in swinging, a sudden pressure was placed behind his left knee and he went crashing to the floor.

"You're a pretty pathetic robber if that took you out," a bored voice said from above him as he rolled on the floor, trying to get the feeling back in his leg. He glanced up through narrowed green eyes to see a blonde devil hovering above him.


	2. Therapeutic chain of events

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, all the little boys would be dry humping eachother and the girlies wouldn't be completely useless.

Warning: Language. Best get used to it.

A/U: **Thanks so much to all the people who reviewed, alerted, or faved this! (**or all three-you're super awesome if you did that**)**. You guys make me smile c: Did I mention this is my first AkuRoku fic...?:D _Anyways_, apologies in advance for Roxas being a bipolar twat, and Axel's obsession with mentioning axe murderers constantly.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2:<strong> Therapeutic chain of events

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><p>Well, this year was, decidedly, going to be hell. Maybe he was being hopeful when he saw the messy room of his roommate and the disastrous state of the rest of the dorm and still thought he had a shot at decency for the first year of his college experience. Zexion, however, chocked it up to his momentary lapse of stupidity.<p>

Now, as he watched Roxas pin his assumed roommate to the carpet of his bedroom floor, that thought was cemented in his mind.

"Roxas please refrain from harassing my roommate," he sighed as he shook off his hood. He sheathed the blade in his hands, placing it in its stand on his desk a few feet away.

"You should be thanking me," Roxas said as he removed his foot from where it was placed forcefully on the redhead's sternum. "He was about to go bat-shit and clobber you, if not for me,"

"Whoa, wait—what? _Roommate_? Who the fuck _are_ you?" The redhead questioned, jumping up and scrambling for his fallen bat the moment he was released. Zexion sighed; it was always him that was stuck with the idiots. Perhaps he should've stayed in Canada.

"My name is Zexion Asahida and I am your roommate, that is, assuming that you are, in fact, Axel Strey," he stated blandly.

The other mumbled something under his breath about axe murderers, nodding, "Yeah…that's me," he glanced down at the bat in his hand, laughing nervously as he let it drop to the ground once more. He pulled off his hat, letting loose a mass of unruly spikes and ran a hand through them. Zexion watched as Roxas quirked a brow. The man continued dumbly, "I thought you were, uh…never mind,"

"Hey, flamer," Roxas called from where he had perched himself on Zexion's desk. The redhead turned on his heel instantly, eyes narrowed at the blonde. Zexion sighed oncemore; Roxas grinned. "So it _was _you. I thought you looked familiar; I was wondering when I was going to see you again,"

"Thinking about me, were you?" Axel replied.

The blonde shrugged, "Not everyday you see Ronald McDonald's spawn walking around with temporary tattoos on his face," Hopping from his seat, he turned to Zexion abruptly. "Can you unpack the rest by yourself?" A nod. "Alright, I'm heading out, then,"

"I'll see you out," Zexion said. He strolled past the redhead, ignoring the mutter of "Freakin' blonde midget", as he lead Roxas down the hall to the front door. With five knocks on the doorframe, Roxas left.

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><p>"Demyx," Axel whined, face down in the mass of pillows that littered the maroon couch. He squirmed around, getting comfortable. "I'm hungry,"<p>

"Then go make yourself some food," The blonde replied from his seat on the floor as he continued to mash at the buttons of the white controller. He leaned forward, tongue poking out the corner of his mouth in concentration. Axel had been loitering around the dorm for the past two hours, and though Demyx's living space was colorful and eclectic, the beatnik man himself was being boring as hell.

"But I want you to do it,"

"Well, too bad, I guess you're going to starve," Demyx concluded, trailing off into a string of profanities as he was chased by an onslaught of bullets onscreen.

"But…you're so good at it," he insisted.

The blonde snorted. "Flattery will get you—_FLYING BITCHNUTS_!"

Axel blinked, "…And what do those taste like?"

"Freakin' thumper! Who the hell uses a goddamned rocket in _Nuke town_?" Demyx raged as blood red letters appeared on screen, spelling defeat for the 'Melodious Nocturne' who had come in second place with twenty-four kills and three deaths to the 'Luna Diviner'. He glared at the screen for a few more minutes before sighing in defeat. He got to his feet, promising revenge under his breath, and tossed his controller onto the couch. "Let's go. I don't have any food here, anyway,"

Axel grunted, rolling off the couch in a mass of blankets and pillows.

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><p>Roxas glared down at his stomach. It looked as if someone had shoved a bowl under his t-shirt, giving it the appearance of a large dome. He poked at it a few times before letting out a groan and flipping over on the couch.<p>

"Mmn, I ate too much," he groaned, his words muffled by the cushion beneath him. Sora laughed as he entered the living room, saving no mercy for his brother.

"Whose fault is that?"

Roxas peaked out a cerulean eye to glare at him. "Yours."

"Is not!"

"Yes," he stated matter-of-factly. "Your fault you were taking so long to eat,"

"That doesn't mean you had to just swoop down and eat mine!" Sora squawked indignantly.

"I think that's exactly what it means,"

"Whatever," Sora pouted, unceremoniously plopping down on top of Roxas as he turned the TV on. Naturally, Roxas would have none of it, and made to shove the other boy off of him, only to find that his arms had been pinned beneath him. He glared at a triumphant Sora who grinned brightly down at him—that is until a heel came swinging up, promptly nailing him in the spine and sending him to the ground. Roxas was soon dropping on top of him to continue their wrestling match. A few minutes later and he would've won the brief battle, had he not let out a sudden shriek.

"Hooooly fucking shit, what the hell is that?" he shouted, skittering backward away from Sora.

"Hm?" Sora grumbled as he sat up, rubbing at his wrists where Roxas had grabbed him.

"That," Roxas spat as he pointed at the offending reptile that had just appeared, sliding through the living room and coming a little too close for comfort. He squawked, leaping back onto the couch. Ah, shitshitshitshitshit—what if it could climb?

"A snake," Sora answered simply with a shrug. He turned his attention back the TV, snatching the remote from the coffee table in front of him.

"No shit! I mean what the hell is it doing here?"

The other boy shrugged again, "I'm babysitting,"

"FOR _WHO_?"

"Riku,"

Well…Roxas really didn't have anything to say to that. Save for, "Why the fucking hell does Riku have a god damn snake as a fucking pet? Where the hell did he even find a mother fucking Boa Constrictor in the middle of _Hollow Bastion_?"

"It's not really his pet," Sora said, eyebrows furrowed. He looked at his brother, concerned. "Chill, Rox, he's not going to hurt you,"

"So it's a _he_, is it?" Roxas hissed.

Fact of the day: Snakes were public enemy number one. He just wanted to curb-stop the shit out of it right now and get it over with. And he would've…had he not been afraid that the thing would attack him if he got within two feet of it. He watched discovery channel; he knew what happened when 'nature attacked'. Option one was that venom would be injected into any of his various limbs and would slowly begin to spread, making his death slow and agonizingly painful as his organs became paralyzed one by one and stopped functioning. By the time he got to the hospital, he would be long gone. But, seeing as it was a Boa constrictor, chances were it would just squeeze him to death.

"If it's not his pet, then why does he need you to 'babysit' it in the first place?"

Sora shrugged once more. "I'unno, I just did the do when he told me to and went by to pick it up,"

"Disgusting. This is why I don't come to visit you,"

"You make it sound like I always have snakes!" Sora objected.

"No, but you do have some other pretty freaky shit in here,"

Sora rolled his eyes as he climbed to his feet and padded over to the snake that had taken to coiling itself in the corner of the room. He reached a hand down and carefully picked up the reptile, draping it over his arms and around his neck. Roxas squeaked.

"Stop being such a baby," Sora said exasperatedly.

"Sora, you have a fucking _snake _on you! What if you die? Hell, what if it comes after me after that?"

"Gee, thanks for your concern," he said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes as he made his way down the hall. He reappeared a few moments later, lacking in the snake area, Roxas noted gratefully, and plopped down on the couch next to the blonde. He looked at him, annoyed, "Happy, now?"

Roxas nodded, "Very. But now I have to go," he stood up, brushing the imaginary lint off his jeans and acting as if his hissy fit hadn't occurred just a couple minutes ago. "The boss man calls,"

* * *

><p>Axel was thinking of very well switching his major. Opting out of chemistry meant two things. One: No crazy chem. Lab professors who made it their personal duty to ensure that each and everyone of their students had no life by piling on copious amounts of homework. And two: He would be given his own room and not forced to deal with a roommate. It was completely unfair that the design and liberal arts majors were given single dorms whilst all other departments were forced to coexist with other students.<p>

Not that Zexion was horrible or anything. Hell, he hardly knew the little twerp was walking around half the time. But that was the thing, half the time he would appear out of no where, turning a corner when Axel least expected it, often while the redhad was in the middle of a particularly dramatic high note into his hairbrush as he slid through their tiny kitchen in his boxers.

And it had happened on more than one occasion.

A week exactly had passed since Zexion had moved in and, all in all, it wasn't so bad. He still wasn't aware of the reason for the slate-haired man's delay, but he wasn't one to pry. He had, however, learned that Zexion had an affinity for swords and blades of all kind, and had started a collection of the things when he was a sophomore in a high school. There was now over fifty in his collection, most of which having been left back at his parent's home, but he still kept a good amount on display throughout his room, much to Axel's delight. Sharp pointy shiny things meant protection against the axe murderers who decided to scale the sides of buildings and crawl in through windows.

Having picked up a few extra shifts recently, it was nearing nine o'clock when the redhead finally left the small bookstore, locking the door and setting the alarm behind him. Because, believe it or not, there were people crazy enough to try and break into the used bookstore according to his manager. These people were commonly known as desperate college students, scraping together just enough to get by.

Stars had already befallen the early October night when Axel stepped out onto the pavement, stretching his arms high above his head and exposing a sliver of his pale abdomen from under his t-shirt in the process. Yawning, he started toward the coffee shop at the end of the strip. It was a small place, tucked away in the corner with an old, rusted red sign as the only sign of existence. _Pluto's_ looked more than a little rundown from the outside, worn bricks and tarnished shingles completing the package, but the interior of the place compensated for the lack of appeal.

Lights dangled from the ceiling, bright bulbs cast in cases of multi-faced polyhedrons of orange and red hues, throwing a warm glow over the entire place. Worn wooden tables and chairs were placed throughout, none of them matching and the thought of them having been picked up throughout the years at a variety of yard sales was quite plausible. (Axel's favorite, in particular, was a hall chair with chipping puce paint, pressed back in one of the corners along with an accompanying turquoise one which he knew to be missing an inch on one of the front legs). Along with the diverse range of seating, there was also a lounge type setup near the window, complete with four plush armchairs—none of which matched—and a coffee table covered in an avalanche of dated magazines and newspapers. The eccentric style was comforting.

As Axel pushed through the front doors, a small bell rang overhead and a welcomed scent of roasting coffee beans washed over him. He smiled at the girl behind the counter as he approached. "Hey, Selphie,"

"Hi, Axel, usual for you?" she asked, not waiting for a response before the total showed in glowing digits on the small screen of the register.

Axel grinned, handing over a five dollar bill. "You know me so well,"

She shrugged, smiling slightly as she gathered his change from the drawer and handed it over. "I only have to see your ugly mug, oh, every other day,"

"Lucky you,"

Laughing, she shook her head and headed over to the rumbling machines to start his drink. "I thought you didn't work Thursdays, though," she commented over her shoulder as she locked a tin canister into place above a nozzle.

"Some guy quit so I had to pick up the slack," he explained, leaning against the glass divider.

"Geeeeez, I thought, like, only five people worked there in the first place. What a bummer,"

Axel shrugged. He drummed his fingers idly against the counter top, only waiting a few moments more before a steaming cardboard cup was shoved into his face.

"So, you must have, like, no life now, huh?" she asked as he gulped down the liquid hungrily, seemingly oblivious to the concept of burns. "With work taking over and all that,"

"Not like I did much before, anyway. It was wake up, lecture, lecture, lab, lecture, eat Demyx's food, sleep, and repeat,"

"I know what you mean," she groaned, pouting. "I don't _remember _the last time I went out,"

"We should have a girls' night soon, then, yeah?" he said with a teasing grin. She laughed, nodding.

"Definitely,"

"Thanks for the coffee," he chuckled, heading toward the door. He looked back over his shoulder at Selphie, "Lemme know when you wanna—_oomph_!"

Axel stumbled back a few steps, having suddenly collided with something solid and speeding. He looked down to see a familiar blonde on the floor sitting back on his butt, looking thoroughly confused as he blinked and gathered his bearings. Ah, inertia, how he loved thee. Roxas cursed under his breath as he came to, a scowl on his face as began to gather his scattered belongings that had fallen from the small messenger bag he carried.

Despite his less than…desirable encounters with the blonde, Axel wasn't one to just stand by and watch a puppy being kicked. Because, yes, Roxas being doomed to pick up all of his things from the floor due to his clumsiness in a public vicinity (oh the _humiliation!)_ equaled a kicked puppy. Obviously.

As Axel leaned down to pick up a pen that had rolled near his sneaker—God damn, he was such a good person it was scary—a thin hand darted out to snatch it away and a few moments later Roxas was straightening up to full high—which was a good several inches shorter than himself, Axel noted with glee.

He glowered at the redhead, words venomous, "Watch where the fuck you're going,"

_Um…Ex-squeeze me?_

Axel opened his mouth angrily, ready to bitch out the bitter midget when he realized that said midget had already breezed past him and was at the counter of the shop in deep discussion with Selphie who seemed to have been watching the entire ordeal and cast a worried glance over at Axel. She turned her attention back to Roxas, shaking her head apologetically and scribbled something down on a memo pad before her, turning to tack it onto the cork board behind her a moment later.

First off, let's get something straight. Axel was not in any way, shape, or form, a coward. And, though he was well trained in the ways of being a 'motha-fuckin' badass' (And yes, it was necessary to say it just like that) he had had enough bad experiences with angry midgets in his life (aka his mother) to know that when you saw one, you ran like hell. Which is precisely what he did when a seething Roxas turned on him, blue eyes narrowed and the desire to stab something rolling off him in waves.

But, being the inconspicuous, suave man he was, he simply sped walk like no other, easy competition for the old ladies in supermarkets.

* * *

><p>Friday at noon and Axel could actually say things were going good. He had gotten to sleep in for once, having no classes, and had woken up peacefully when he had finally gotten around to it, not in a tangle of sheets as he fell of his bed to the blaring of his alarm, like he did on usual mornings. On top of that, he was happy to find himself alone in the dorm room.<p>

After going through the regular morning routine, he grabbed a quick breakfast from the campus canteen—the use of which was still unbeknownst to him, considering all the dorms, regardless of department or year, were prepped in full with a small kitchen—and lazed around the rest of the morning watching _Dragon Tales_ and reruns of _Everybody Hates Chris._

Axel now sat at a table in the middle of the local library; books sprawled out before him in a heaping mess. Hardly anyone else was in his company save for the mousy librarian clacking away at her keyboard and a few miscellaneous students browsing through the shelves. Axel figured it was the perfect time to get his assignments over and done with, prospects of actually having some fun this weekend hanging in the back of the mind. He had been trying unsuccessfully for the past half hour, mostly thanks to the gaggle of noisy girls who had been giggling uncontrollably at a table behind him just a ten minutes before. He had done a little jig in his seat when their oodles of tacky jewelry jangled as they walked away.

He sat facing a large bay window, tapping the end of his pen against his thigh lightly as he glared down at the field work for his lab—Stupid Seymour and his stupid Seymour-y hair. His attention was soon taken away by the vast expanse of grass that lay beyond the window, a perfect view of Radiant Garden where a variety of people gathered, both from HBU and the surrounding suburbs, milling about and enjoying what was sure to be the last of enjoyable sunshine weather before fall settled in for good. Axel was entertaining the thought of whether or not Demyx was out of class for him to harass when a messy head of cowlicks entered his view.

Had he been a lesser man, he would've ran.

Instead, he gripped the edge of his seat and narrowed his eyes, ready to bolt if the Blondie tried anything. Though Zexion was safe, Roxas still wasn't in the clear in Axel's mind—especially after the little stint at Pluto's last night. For all he knew, the blonde could be a sociopath (highly likely, from what he'd seen) out for blood. He was still high on the list for possible axe murderers.

The blonde kept his gaze on the table, and when he opened his mouth Axel was sure that the beginnings of a vehement threat were going to seep into the air with a vengeance.

"Hi,"

Well then.

The words had been mumbled and the blonde looked more than a little uncomfortable as he lowered himself into the seat across from Axel. He allowed his bag to slide off his shoulder and settle into his lap, wringing the strap lightly.

Axel blinked, "Are you bipolar or something?"

The feeble look he held quickly disappeared and a glare was soon settled on the blonde's face. "_What_?" he scoffed, offended.

"Definitely bipolar," the redhead said, nodding to himself. "Either that, or you're PMS'ing,"

"You're obnoxious," Roxas snarled.

"Says the one who called me a flamer…twice—which, I'll have you know, I heard all through high school, so it's getting old—a hobo, and attacked me in my own home," Axel said, irritated. "And these are real, by the way," he added as an after thought, motioning to his tattoos as he thought back to the Ronald McDonald comment from the previous week.

"Leave it to the freak to get tattoos on his face," Roxas spat, pausing a moment later. His face fell, "I didn't mean that,"

"Not to mention yesterday," Axel glared as he began gathering his things, pushing them haphazardly into his bag. He was halfway to his feet when he spoke again, "Look, kid, I don't have time for your queenie, 'let's take my anger out on some random guy' attitude. I don't even know you, so chances that I'm going to put up with you—"

"Sorry. For yesterday, I'm sorry," The blonde stuttered quickly, looking down. "I was on my way to meet someone just now, and I saw you, so I wanted to come…uh, apologize,"

Axel cocked a brow, "Oh, so you didn't come track me down just to bitch me out? And here I was getting so _flattered_,"

Roxas gnawed on his bottoms lip lightly, glancing up at Axel. It let out a large huff of air, "Look, I was having a bad day, I lost something important, I didn't mean to take it out on you—all that jazz,"

"_All that jazz_?" Axel questioned, looking skeptical.

Roxas sighed, "What, do you want me to make it up to you or something?"

The redhead pondered this for a second before a sly grin spread across his features, "Buy me a coffee,"

"_What_?"

"It's a small price to pay for the emotional toll you've taken on me," he crooned condescendingly. "Besides, I spilled some of mine when you ran into me," _And when I was running away from you._

"You've _got_ to be kidding me,"

Risking an hour in the presence of an axe-murderer for free coffee? Totally worth it.

* * *

><p><strong>AU: **Like it? Think I should be maimed for writing such a disgusting piece of blasphemy? Lemme know anyway!


	3. I don't care what the weather might say

Disclaimer: doez nawt own.

Warning: Language. Boys loving boys. All that jazz.

**A/N:** Done with 20 minutes to spare before I have to get ready for work! This was going to be up a few days ago...but I was busy having a life for once :o  
>Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, added this to their favorites, or added it to their story alert. It makes me so happy, you don't even realize!<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3:<strong> I don't care what the weather might say

* * *

><p>Roxas really didn't have time for this. Honestly, he had things to do, places to be, people to meet. He didn't have time for the redhead who was merrily strolling behind him humming…or talking to himself. Whichever. He had much better things to do with his time such as…doing laundry. Yes, laundry sounded fantastic. So what if it was a day early? That meant he would have all of Saturday to go out and party and junk. Yeah, and junk. Sora was always complaining about him being a hermit or being 'anti-social'. He wasn't a hermit nor was the anti-social. He was perfectly social. He and Zexion watched movies every Friday night. So there. HA!<p>

Truth was Roxas had been on his way to Pluto's, passing through Radiant Garden when he'd spotted the redhead through the large windows of the ancient Hollow Bastian Library, looking like he was going to drive the dull point of his pencil into the eye sockets of a gaggle of girls at a nearby table. In a bout of insanity, Roxas had sprinted into the library, totally not knocking over a small child and a girl he was fairly certain was in his English composition class. He blamed it on the guilt that had washed over him as he stood panting behind a bookshelf, fussing with his hair and trying to return to some appearance of normalcy before approaching the redhead. Guilt was never something he was good with—hell, he used to tattle on himself after spilling juice on the floor or breaking one of his mother's vases when he was little—so it all added up.

But those were minor details that would be kept in a small little box with a deadlock one thousand leagues under the sea within a swarm of angry, malnourished piranhas.

Roxas turned to glare at the redhead who was _definitely_ talking to himself now. If he got this over and done with now, then he could go and be a hermit.

Hermit-y goodness, mmmmm.

Pushing open the hand-print covered door of Pluto's, Roxas quickly made his way to the front counter. He expectantly looked over his shoulder at the redhead who took his sweet time in staring at the menu mounted against the wall. Glaring, Roxas tapped his foot impatiently as the redhead mulled it over, unaware of the thought process that was going on.

_Caramel Macchiato or Iced Vanilla Latte? Ooooh, and then I could get extra whipped cream—I mean, Blondie is paying, after all…But then again I don't wanna get fat…_

Roxas fumed as the other man suddenly stared down at his belly, poking it disapprovingly. He then flicked at a protruding hip with a scowl—and holy shit he _had_ hips. The blonde blinked. Maybe he was actually a girl. A really really really flat-chested girl…or maybe he had inverted boobs or something. Yes, an inverted-boob girl with a manly voice.

Roxas shuddered.

_S'not like I can't afford to gain a few pounds. I mean maybe Dem's right. I am too skinny…not malnourished or anything like he says but god damn. I don't wanna look like a match stick, 'cause then people will be all—"Come 'ere ya flamin' matchstick! Light my cigarette, make me a fire, set that old lady's house on fire!"—and really, that would just be too much responsibility. _

"I'll have an Iced Vanilla latte, extra whipped cream," he finally announced, nodding to himself, obviously pleased. That is, until he noticed a certain blonde staring at him incredulously. He quirked a brow. "What? Do they not sell those there or something?"

First, assess the situation. That's what they taught him.

Let's see. He had been in Radiant Garden, went into the library to deliver a brief apology, and had gotten roped into buying this freak—ahem, _person_ (Because there could be no blatant bias if you wanted to be successful and not stuck in the _Opinion_ section of some ho-dunk town's newspaper) a coffee.

Good. Now report the facts.

He was standing next to the redhead whose name he did not know. Zexion might've mentioned him once or twice, but 29% of the time things went in one year and out the other, and it must've been one of those times. Said redhead was six-foot. He wasn't so much a redhead in the 'Haha, look at the soulless ginger—what's up, Ron Weasley?' kind of way, so much as the 'Oh my god, your head is bleeding'. (Roxas vaguely wondered what kind of whimsical phrase had been slapped across the box of dye). Not to mention it shot out like freakin' stalactite from his head—that shit looked lethal.

There were easily four colorful studs in his right ear (the only ear Roxas had a direct line of sight to) along with a black bar that was shot across his cartilage, and Roxas swore he saw the edges of a tattoo peaking out from the collar of his shirt. He had just ordered an Iced Vanilla Latte with heavy whipped cream. Oh wait; he had just added a sprinkle of cinnamon.

Hm.

Now to recap; Get everything straight.

In Pluto's with a too-goddamn-tall redhead. Redhead just ordered an Iced Vanilla Latte with cinnamon. The very same redhead with I-will-cut-you spikes sprouting from his scalp, multiple piercings, tattoos on his freakin' face—the very one that should be getting a black coffee with an extra shot of children's souls in it, not carrying around a metaphorical dog in his purse. Or he could always punch the girl behind the counter and steal all the coffee beans to eat raw. That would've been perfectly in character, as well.

Roxas coughed, removing himself from his thoughts that had landed him a big fat 'F' and a job in some place called Richardton where everyone had the same pair of shoes where he would write in the monthly newspaper.

With a shake of his head, he stepped up to the counter, glancing over the menu. Funny; He never noticed the copious amounts of shit they sold. _Caramel Macchiato, Caramel High-rise, Milk Chocolate Cooler, Raspberry Ripple…_

"I'll have a Va-Va-Vanilla," Oh god. No wonder they hardly had any male customers with fruity names like that.

"Alright, then," The girl behind the counter chirped overzealously. Narrowing his eyes at the nametag, Roxas realized he didn't recognize 'Amber'. Hm. Must be new. Give it a month or so and she would be hating her job like the rest of them, that false happiness gone, replaced by a sense of impending doom. "Will that be all for you today?"

Roxas opened his mouth to answer in the affirmative and tell her to hurry it the fuck up already, when a glimmer in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He glanced over at the shining display case to his right, a halo about the confectionary goodness that lay inside.

"And two chocolate chip muffins," he added quickly. Food made him generous. Mmmmm, muffins.

"Okay! You're total comes to 15.96, please," she announced, clacking away at the register with French-manicured acrylic nails. Eck.

Pulling a twenty and a mint green plastic card with a picture of an obnoxious, drooling dog on the front, he handed it across the counter to the girl where she swiftly swiped it through the machine and handed it back to him as '15% EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT' flashed across the small screen of the register, followed by the new price. He paid less attention to the change being given to him, and more to the muffin that would soon be socializing with the acid of his stomach.

"Wait a sec, you _work_ here?" the redhead asked incredulously from beside him. Admittedly, he'd forgotten all about him.

"Yeah," Roxas answered dully, watching intently as the girl reached into the display case for the beautifully delicious quick breads. Her hands sure as hell better be clean—No butt-scratching or nose-picking residue.

The blonde started as an arm was suddenly slung around him and his vision was overcome by stupid smirking redhead. He scowled, his view of the glorious muffins gone.

"This," the redhead started, "Could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship,"

Roxas shrugged off the offending arm, much more interested in the twin paper bags that had just been deposited onto the counter. He quickly snatched them up, hugging one protectively to his chest.

"Do you like muffins?" Roxas asked, sizing up the redhead with narrowed eyes. _Say yes or I'll kick you in the face, you monster._

The other man nodded hesitantly.

_Lucky you._

Roxas held out one of the bags.

"Aw, for me? How sweet," he cooed mockingly. Roxas considered smacking him upside the head with the bag, but no. That would be a waste of a perfectly good muffin. And, by the looks of it, the poor thing would probably get skewered by one of the spikes before it made it too far.

"Shut up and take it, Dipwad," _So I can eat mine._ "We're even now,"

The redhead happily plucked the bag from Roxas' outstretched hand, a grin plastered on his face. "I _suppose_ I can forgive you for all the trauma you have subjected my delicate mind to," he said with an over exaggerated sigh. "And for the whole mugging me in my own house thing. And for all the insults. Those hurt, y'know. I used to be a fat kid—low self-esteem and all that jazz,"

Roxas gave the other a quick once over before letting out an involuntary snort, pieces of his muffin—a good portion of it already shoved in his mouth—flying everywhere. The redhead's grin widened. God damnit.

"And here are your drinks," The girl behind the counter chirped as she set down two cups before them. Roxas was quick to swoop down and pick up his own steaming goo, continuing on to hightail it out of there. Unfortunately, the redhead was strolling casually right next to him.

"You're Roxas, right?" he asked conversationally; the blonde nodded, not worried about the who, what, when, where, and how of the redhead knowing his name. It had been mentioned in passing so not a big deal. "I'm Axel, commit it to memory,"

Roxas coughed, ceremoniously choking on his muffin. He kept walking. If he ignored him, he would go away. Freakish redhead with the tattoos on his face and cheesy lines such as 'commit it to memory' would disappear. Who the hell named their kid 'Axel', anyway? Wasn't that a car part? Or the member of some band? Not that 'Roxas' was all too normal, either, he wasn't even sure it was an actual name…But that was beside the point! His parents were hippies, god damnit, he had an excuse!

After a short silence, "So…you go to school at HBU?"

_No, I just like to spend my free time lurking around campus, sitting in on lectures, and hanging around in random kid's dorms. No big deal or anything._

"Yep," Roxas answered shortly, taking a sip from his coffee. He glanced down into his paper bag as they came to a stop at a crosswalk. He frowned; only a bite of muffin left.

Axel nodded, oblivious to the muffin dilemma of the blonde, "What's your major?"

"Are we playing twenty questions?" Roxas snapped irritably. The redhead grinned. He was going to punch something.

"We can if you want," Axel said merrily.

"Fine," the blonde hissed. "Why are you following me?"

"I'm simply walking in the same direction as you; campus _is_ this way after all," he answered with a wink. "Don't flatter yourself,"

Roxas rolled his eyes, "I would never dream of it,"

"So, what's your major?" Axel repeated.

The blonde glanced at him uneasily, "And why should I tell you?"

"Well, that's, uh, kinda how the game works. Y'know, you asked a question, I gave an answer. Then I asked a question, and now you need to give me an answer," he spoke slowly as if explaining the rudimentary rules of tag to a five-year-old.

Roxas glared at the white lines pasted on the street as he strode over them, "Journalism,"

"_Journalism?" _the redhead repeated. Roxas glanced at him, irritated immediately by the mirth hardly hidden in his eyes and the laugh he was trying all too hard to suppress.

"Yes, _journalism_," he said, eyes narrowed. "Do you have a _problem _with that?"

Axel snorted, disguising the bubbling of laughter with a faulty cough. Jackass. "No, I just, um…wow,"

"Fine then, what's_ your_ major?"

"That counts for your second one," the redhead said, teasing.

"Just answer the damn question!"

"Chemistry,"

"_Chemistry?"_

"Yep,"

"You seem like the kid who would drop a chunk of sodium in water or leave the Bunsen burner running in high school,"

Honestly, he was just surprised his major wasn't cosmetology or some shit like that.

"I was," the redhead said, a proud grin on his face.

"Idiot,"

"Alright, my turn!"

Roxas furrowed his brow, "No it's not. It's mine,"

"Nooo, you just went. You asked what my major was,"

"No, that's what _you_ asked _me_,"

Axel cocked a brow, "I asked you, and then you asked me the same thing. I told you it counted as your question but you—we just went over this! Do you have sporadic amnesia or something?"

"Hmph," Roxas crumbled up his empty bag and tossed it in a garbage can as they passed. "I remember no such thing,"

Axel snorted.

* * *

><p>"<em>Triple kill,"<em>

Axel nearly peed as the low baritone voice echoed throughout his apartment upon his stepping out of the bathroom.

"_Haha, bitches!_ Headshot!"

Well, Demyx was on some form of drugs. That wasn't anything new.

Axel spared the dirty-blonde a glance as he passed on his way to the kitchen, only mildly concerned about the position the other man was in, half on the couch and half perched on the table, all the while screaming profanities into the mic that sat atop his mullet. Yanking open the fridge door, he quickly scanned the shelves, excited to find a big fat whopping nothing.

And that was it. He was going to die of starvation. Demyx would be busy playing Call of Duty and he would be slowly deteriorating on the outdated tile of his kitchen. By the time anyone thought to come by, he would be a pile of bones, victim to the cruel world that was college life.

"Dude, you guys don't have _anything_,"

Axel refused to admit to any form of a squeak that came out of his mouth upon his suprise. He was simply caught off guard and his, erm, voice gland things weren't working properly. Yeah, that was it. They were all 'Ho shiz, there's a hungry axe-murderer behind you! Run, bitch, run!'. And they ran. Had they not ran, it totally would've been a big scary, manly scream. Oh, yeah.

"No, really?" he said, slamming the door and glancing over his shoulder at Demyx who was but three inches away. "I hadn't noticed,"

"Oh…well you might wanna get your eyes checked or something," the blonde said with a shrug. "Or your head. Maybe you thought you've been eating food all the time when you've really been eating nothing but air. Dude, that would _suck_,"

Axel stared blandly as Demyx hopped up on the countertop, swinging his feet back and forth. "What if that seriously _was_ a disease? What would they call it? _Airitosis? That's-not-food-dumbass-itis?" _he continued.

"Demyx…" he started solemnly. "I have Airitosis,"

"Oh no! My po' baby!" Demyx shouted in the southern accident of a middle age woman as he leapt from the counter. He gathered the redhead in a hug, smothering him against his chest and twisting him from side to side sporadically. "Don't you worry 'bout a thing! Mama gone find you some help!"

Axel sniffled dramatically, clinging to his friend's shirt. "I just want to be a normal!"

"We can beat this, child! We can beat this! You just gotta believe in yo' Mama and the power of the Lawd, and we gonna be alright! We'll be just fine, child," Demyx said. He released the redhead, going over to the sink and flicking on the faucet. He cupped a hand under the water and turned with a maniacal grin.

"Demyx, don't you fucking dare—"

"The power of Christ compels you!" the blonde shouted, flinging a handful of water straight into Axel's face. "Be gone satanic devil and let my child eat food!"

"Cold! Holy shit cold—cold!" Axel exclaimed, trying unsuccessful to skitter away from the sprinkles of water being shot his way. Braving the offensive liquid, he marched toward the sink, placing his own hands under the water. He cackled evilly as he saw the horrified expression of Demyx.

"Kay, not funny, man," Demyx stammered as he began to slowly back out of the small kitchen unit. "Joke's over, haha, don't—_You are so fucking dead_!"

Axel's maniacal laughter continued as Demyx glared at him heatedly, majority of his mullet now flopping to one side with the weight of the water and a good chunk hanging in his eyes.

"You are dead. So dead," the blonde concluded as he reached for a pitcher of kool-aid that sat abandoned on the counter. He picked it up at an agonizingly slow pace and began to twist the top off.

"I swear to god if you—"

"Well if it isn't my favorite flamer," came a dry, sarcastic voice, freezing the two in the middle of their spat. "And his friend,"

Axel glanced to the doorway, never happier to see the sullen blonde—despite having spent over an hour with him just a little while ago.

"Yo, Roxas!" Axel greeted a little too excitedly as he stumbled toward the other man, all too happy to get away from Demyx and the threatening weapon that was grape kool-aid.

"Wait," Axel skid to a stop in front of the blonde, polka dot socks sliding across the wood floor and easily rivaling the slide of the guy in the guitar hero commercials. He stared at the shorter male scrutinizingly, "What _are_ you doing here?"

Roxas remained silent, pushing aside the redhead none too gently as he passed. He made his way to the living room, plopping down on the large black couch and kicking his feet over the back of it. Axel opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a sudden black-clad blur whizzing by him. He looked over his shoulder at Zexion who was currently shoving something into one of the cabinets. Huh. Axel had forgotten about him.

"Axel," Zexion greeted with a curt nod, straightening up and closing the cabinet. He glanced at Demyx who had yet to put down the kool-aid. "Axel's friend,"

"Oh, uh, Zexion this is Demyx. Demyx this my roommate Zexion,"

Demyx gave a small wave with his fingers, smiling stupidly. Axel snickered to himself—he looked every bit like a wet dog.

"Sooo, what're you doing here?" Axel asked. The slate-haired man rose a brow.

"I live here,"

_Well, yeah, but…_

"Roxas' DVD player broke," Zexion said as he started into the living room, his bag bouncing lightly against his thigh. Axel followed, Demyx tailing close behind him.

"Fucking Riku," Roxas hissed under his breath.

Demyx draped himself over the back of the couch, eyeing Roxas' foot cautiously. "Sorry, bro, but we're a little busy with the TV right now," he said, pointing to the TV where an online lobby was currently in session, waiting for new players. Axel eyed the gaming system below, still at a loss for why his parents had bought it for him in the first place. Not like he actually used the damn thing. It was more of a backup for Demyx when his became victim to the 'Ring of Death' (words the mulleted-blonde had demanded Axel never speak in his presence)—which tended to happen every other week. Axel, however, was just fine with his old, beat up system that he had saved up for for three months back in sophomore year.

Zexion glanced at the TV then Roxas, who merely shrugged and rolled over—nearly kicking Demyx in the head in the process—burying his face into the couch cushion. He looked at Demyx as he dropped his bag atop the coffee table. Picking up the control that lay there, "I'll play you for it,"

Demyx snorted as Axel deposited himself in an armchair, shaking his head. "You don't have a chance," he sighed, rubbing his eyes. Mm, sleep sounded good right about now. "Seriously, Demyx is _obsessed _with this game,"

"You make it sound so unhealthy," Demyx whined, pouting.

"That's because it is,"

The TV beeped as Zexion signed in as a guest.

"You're funeral," Axel drawled, curling up in the armchair—which, he had to admit, was quite a feat. And oddly comfortable, despite the fact he was practically kneeing himself in the face.

The slate-haired man turned to Demyx, "How do you play?" he asked dryly.

The mulleted-man stared at him as if he had just punched a baby. Axel began cackling. Roxas peaked out an eye and glared at the lot of them. "_What?"_

"You have no chance," the redhead drawled.

Demyx narrowed his eyes at Zexion. "You _monster_," he cried, proceeding to point out each of the controls to the other, nonetheless.

A short while later and Demyx was grinning giddily to himself as the game loaded on screen. "No competition,"

"Kick his ass, Zex," Roxas said as he rummaged through his friend's bag.

* * *

><p>"SACRILEGE!"<p>

Demyx jumped up, throwing his controller to the ground harshly. He pointed an accusatory finger at Zexion, who merely stared at him blankly. "Screen-cheater!" he shouted.

"Oh my god, you're so fucking loud," Axel groaned from his seat, having been jolted from his brief nap by Demyx's sudden outburst. He glanced at the screen, surprised. "You lost?"

"He cheated!" Demyx repeated, glaring at the slate-haired man. "There is no way that was your first time playing! I want a rematch—right here, right now!"

Zexion cocked a brow. "I don't know what you're talking about,"

"We won fair and square so shut up and sit down," Roxas demanded as he padded across the living room to the DVD, popping in a disc he had at the ready. He turned, glaring at the other blonde. When there was only silence he smiled, "Good,"

* * *

><p>Three hours and one and a half Alfred Hitchcock movies later, Axel was violently jabbed awake to a face full of expectant Roxas whilst a woman on screen screamed about birds and pie.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So i ask that if any of you awesome people read this you review and tell me how I'm doing? It means a lot c:

**Next time!:** Roxas and Axel make a midnight trip to the grocery store? These are the lives of our favorite boys.


	4. Friday nights are always the same

A/N: So sorry for the late update, I've been busy with finals for the past month or so _ Good news is I passed all of them! Today was the last day of classes, so I should be able to focus more on my leisurely writing.

**Notes regarding the story:** In the last chapter Roxas kind of ranted a lot about getting a shitty job as a opinion columnist in some hodunk town. I wanted to explain that this pertains to his major, because things are supposed to be fact not opinion. It's not a slam on people who write opinion columns. Also, there are things pertaining to Axel's major in this chapter, too. Such as the quasi-lab report...

This isn't my favorite chapter, but what can you do? It was a pain to write...and it's shorter than the rest ^^; It'll get better (and Roxas will stop being a pms'ing muchkin) soon.  
>Also, they're always owing eachother coffee...<p>

And if you haven't, listen to **Clutter by Ronald Jenkees**!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4:<strong> Friday nights are always the same in this town

* * *

><p>What kind of sentence was there for man-slaughter?<p>

It couldn't be too bad, right? It was supposed to be an 'accident' after all.

Axel could make it look like an accident. He could 'accidently' shove Roxas in front of a car going fifty miles per hour. A little pebble in his way, small trip, a bit of a shove and—oh! Look at that, Blondie in oncoming traffic. Who knows, if he was lucky maybe the little shit's unidentifiable remains would end up on the front end of a semi.

Axel was furious.

And Roxas deserved it.

The demonized midget had inflicted it upon himself when he had wakened Axel up at freakin' 1 a.m. And to get food, no less—Food!—interrupting a glorious dream about…something. It would come back to him eventually. All he knew was that it was freakin' awesome. And now Roxas had to pay the price.

The equivalent of which was Axel's wrath. Get some, bitches.

Oh god, he was lame.

"Stop staring at me, idiot," Roxas snapped from a few paces ahead. Axel inwardly cackled. Oh no, he wasn't staring. He was burning a motherfucking hole in his head. Sure…you couldn't see it now, but that was why it was so brilliant. Everything is normal and then—BAM! Giant hole in your head.

It just snuck up on you. Like genital herpes.

Axel coughed into the sleeve of his sweatshirt, clearing his throat. A moment later he wrinkled his nose, getting a whiff of the offending item of clothing. Roxas had rushed him out of the house so quickly he hadn't even had a chance to do a smell-check on the clothes he had thrown on. But whatever, tomorrow was laundry day. Maybe he could catch up on his sleep then, too.

He'd found that hardly anyone came into the Laundromat on Saturdays (Honestly…who would?) but that was just fine with him. That meant he could stretch out on the chairs between cycles and count a few sheep. Especially since there wouldn't be any midgets there to disrupt his sleep. For Food. Food!

He was only slightly bitter.

"Are we there yet?" Axel groaned. He didn't care if he was whining like those kids from the movie (Dear God, they should've just stopped with the first one), it was too damned late—early?—to be doing this much. He was tired, cranky, they'd been walking for at least fifteen minutes and his legs hurt. All he wanted to do was crawl up into a ball and go back to bed.

"Stop your bitching. We'll be there soon," The blonde spat. Oh, so _he_ was the one bitching? Roxas was the one who had flipped a tit to get Axel out of bed (chair) in the first place!

"Why didn't you just take Zexion or something?"

"He was sleeping,"

"_I_ was sleeping!"

"He's more important,"

Axel glared.

"Then what about Demyx?"

"He talks too much…and I can't deal with that much stupid by myself. You're enough as it is,"

Axel figured that was the closest he was going to get to a compliment, however twisted it may be.

"Gee, thanks," he muttered with a roll of the eyes. When he glanced up, however, he could've died of happiness when he saw the gleaming sign of _CindyRella's Grocer _shining like a beacon of hope before them.

Even Roxas looked happier.

*0*

Observation Lab Report

Problem: Roxas (last name unknown)

Hypothesis: Roxas (last name unknown) is a fatty. A PMS'ing one at that.

Materials:

Roxas—a small blonde, approximately 5'4", indigenous to the campus of HBU

A set of eyes with the capability to view all that is around

A grocery store

A cart

Procedure:

Observe

Continue until results are as desired

*0*

Axel watched in disbelief as the blonde beside him pushed practically everything from the shelves into his cart. Kay maybe not everything…but geez! Twinkies, donuts, nutella, ice-cream sandwiches…

"I thought you said you wanted to get food," Axel said, eyeing the cart suspiciously.

"This is food," Roxas replied as he tossed a bag of chocolate covered pretzels into the cart. Might as well get some yoghurt-covered ones, too—Y'know…so the others wouldn't be lonely.

"_Junk_ food,"

"I don't discriminate,"

Axel snorted, rolling his eyes. For the first time since they had arrived he took a glance around the store and noticed a large sum of the people that were there (the few that there was) shooting odd looks their way. Whatever. They were probably just a bunch of freaks anyway. There was even a guy just standing in the corner staring off into space. Everyone once in a while he would take a swig from a metallic canteen. Axel eyed the hand of the man that never once left his jacket, a million ideas of what could be inside running through his mind. He moved closer to Roxas.

"Mmm," Roxas hummed happily as he dropped a bag of strawberry-shaped chocolates in the cart.

"Fatty,"

Roxas looked over his shoulder at the redhead, blue eyes narrowed, '"Excuse me?"

"It doesn't show now or anything," Axel started, ignoring the fact that he was, quite frankly, checking the blonde out. He hadn't noticed until now that Roxas was kind of…girly looking. Not that it was like—BOOM! HORMONES IN YO FACE! But it had a slightly girlish look about him…maybe boyish was a better way to put it. Either way he was kind of…cute?

Roxas sneezed, wiping the snot onto the back of his sweatshirt.

Ugh. No.

"…But just wait a month or two and you'll have a food baby on the way,"

Roxas flicked a grape. Axel yelped as it hit him in the eye.

"I am _not fat_," the blonde hissed.

"I'm not saying you are, but y'know if you keep it up—"

An orange smashed into the redhead's cheek.

"The hell was that for?"

Roxas sniffed indignantly and continued to push his grocery cart right on by. "Not fat," he said simply as he inspected a bunch of bananas. Yes, bananas. And bananas weren't fattening so take _that_ Axel. As he reached for a just ripening bunch, something hard hit him in the back of the neck, turning into a thick liquid a moment later and dripping down past the collar of his shirt onto his back. Slowly, furiously, he turned around. It seemed the produce section was now completely deserted save for the two students, everyone else sensing the impending doom. Roxas reached to the back of his neck, keeping a hard glare fixed on Axel all the while, and brought the hand back a moment later covered in a thick, translucent, red _goop_.

"What. The. Fuck," The blonde gritted out, staring at the remnants of an over-ripened tomato in disbelief. He was going to gag. He was going to throw up all over the place and he was going to make sure he got Axel first.

Little known fact, tomatoes were public enemy number two.

They were just fine when they were mutated to be something else, but in their truest form—they were disgusting.

Axel was grinning mischievously. He wouldn't be so damned happy when he was missing his front teeth and right testicle.

"Sorry," the redhead started, hardly suppressing his amusement. "I tripped,"

To his surprise, hell to everyone's surprise, Roxas smiled. Albeit a smile that promised a slow, unmerciful death, but a smile all the same. "Don't worry about it," he stated as he reached to scrape more tomato guts from his skin. "We're only human_, right_?"

And with that, Roxas threw the used tomato right back in Axel's face…and ran like hell to get to the other side of the fruit display. There was something called common sense that he liked to utilize, especially when he was up against someone who could easily fit in with the inmates at Hollow Bastion Correctional Facility.

He watched with satisfaction as Axel wiped the tomato from his face and, with a flick of his wrist, flung it to the floor. His stomach dropped when he saw the maniacal grin that was now in place on the redhead.

_Shit._

Axel had to suppress the cackles that were bubbling in his throat as he reached for a pack of strawberries. He didn't care if he would have to pay for all of it later, because revenge was sweet.

*0*

Twenty minutes later they were standing on the sidewalk. Both were covered in generous amounts of fruit and vegetable remains, having gotten quite far in their little food fight before being interrupted by a clerk when Roxas ended up nailing some random chick in the ass. Oops.

On the upside, they weren't the ones who had to clean it up.

They just had to empty most of their pockets to pay for it.

A gush of crisp air met them as they stepped out onto the asphalt. Roxas reached up and firmly slapped Axel in the back of the head but before the redhead could respond, he was already walking away.

"Thanks, Axel," he called over his shoulder, silent laughter ringing in his voice. "It was fun,"

*0*

Conclusion: Hypothesis proved correct in experiment. Roxas, however, wasn't as bad as he first seemed…maybe Axel would just have to make him loosen up a little.

*0*

It had been nearly a month since he'd seen Axel…It'd been a damn good month.

The beginnings of winter were starting to emerge as the middle of November was made clear. Leaves still scattered the campus, though it was a huge improvement from what it had been in previous weeks. Then, hardly a step could be taken without hearing the devastating crunch of a leave and all of its fragile membranes as its life came to a sudden end.

It was quite sad, really.

Now, the soppy leave remains just stuck to anything and everything they could hang on to.

Roxas hungrily gulped at his coffee, ignoring the incineration of his taste buds as he reveled in the over, near disgustingly so, sweetness of the coffee. It was great. Gas station coffee was the best coffee. Forget about Pluto's, arguably the best and most well know coffee shop on campus, when there was the overbearing, god-awfully sweet of the local gas station. Seriously, it was like fucking sex. In his mouth. In fact, that was exactly what it was. It was a giant orgy in his mouth: the perfect way to start out any day.

He would have to thank Namine later, having been the one to leave the coffee for him.

That morning he had woken up, body aching and head throbbing from the insufficient five hours of sleep he had gotten that night (or morning, as it had been). He'd been up until two a.m. lucubrating, analyzing the countless amounts of news articles that their professor had piled upon them with expectations of them to having it done by the very next day. And of course, Roxas hadn't got off of work until ten.

Had it been anyone else showing up in the middle of the night at his front door, chances are Roxas would've slammed the door in their face. But it had been Namine, and he was more than grateful for her presence at any time of the date. The blonde girl had merely sat on his living room couch, doodling in her sketch pad with a small smile, glancing at Roxas every now and again as he worked away at his damned analysis, the Clutter of Ronald Jenkees playing throughout the apartment.

She'd spent the night as she had so many times when they were in high school, and Roxas wasn't the least surprised when he woke up to a cold spot on the bed besides him. A note written in the curvy script he knew so well was stuck on the bathroom mirror, and in the microwave a large, crudely colored Styrofoam cup lie waiting for him, still piping hot with another post-it note attached to it.

God, he loved that woman.

Roxas almost…skipped to the lecture hall. He damn well could have. Things were shaping up, and though he still had insane amounts of homework to deal with and teachers to mentally bitch out, it wasn't that bad.

Something solid clipped his side at high speed, jolting his entire body forward.

He stared down at the brown liquid quickly spreading across the asphalt. Sinking into the nearby grass…

Glancing up at the redhead who continued to sprint on ahead, shouting back over his shoulder, "Sorry, man!"

Bitch was back on the radar.

*0*

Axel snuggled into his pillow. He'd gotten up to damn early. Especially for a Thursday, when in any normal circumstance he wouldn't have had class until noon. Today, however, Professor Seymour decided that he had an 'emergency' that he needed to tend to later in the day, and moved the class up four hours. Goddamn bastard.

As soon as the freakin' horn-haired freak had finished his babbling, Axel had busted out of the room and nearly sprinted across campus back to his dorm room. _Sleep_. Sleep sounded fucking amazing.

So the moment he hit the bed, still fully clothed and shoes till on, he felt one-hundred percent ready for sleep to take over his senses. Apparently, that wasn't sleep's plan. Axel tried for the next half an hour, tossing and turning and switching positions to make himself more comfortable—more vulnerable to sleep. But sleep was just a bitch who decided to slack off on its job.

And of course the doorbell would ring.

With a groan, the redhead hoisted himself to his feet. He looked forlornly to the bed. Not like he was actually missing anything. Why was it that the universe hated him so? At this point he couldn't even get sleep. Why? _Why?_

Grumbling under his breath all the while, he padded his way across the dorm. Flinging the door open, he suddenly remember that he had stripped down to his boxers in an attempt to get comfy. Funny that the site of a slightly irritated (wasn't he always?) Roxas has reminded him of this.

Giving him a quick once over, a small smirk slowly spread the blonde's lips. "Get dressed, you owe me coffee,"


	5. I got my cup of Joe

Disclaimer: Yeah so I thought I owned it, but then a little cricket came along and was HAHABITCHNOYOUDON'T. So, apparently, I don't. Whatever.

**A/N: Thanks so much to all alerts, favorites, and reviews! key2myheart13, YourFavorite, and Destry** thanks for your reviews-I laaaaved them. Anonymous reviewers need to get accounts so I can properly give them replies :'D

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5:<strong> I got my cup of Joe

* * *

><p>"Sorry about that, again," Axel said, laughing lightly, albeit a bit nervously. It'd been a while since he'd talked to the blonde, and knocking into him first thing in the morning (not even realizing it was him until he was accused hours later) probably wasn't the best thing to start back off with. Besides, he wasn't sure how many more levels of crazy the blonde had gained since their last encounter.<p>

As it seemed, however, Roxas was being decent for once. Not splenetic, passive, or apologetic, but actually sociable…kind of. It seemed with coffee in hand—however shitty the coffee in question may be—he was innocuous. Axel still didn't understand why the blonde had insisted on going to the gas station of all places to get the coffee that had been ruined that morning. Not like he had a problem with it—cheap was good in his book, and 1.79 for a large coffee was cheap.

Either way, Axel had found the secret to a happy Roxas. And he would use it to his advantage.

"Yeah, well, whatever," the blonde said after taking a long swig from the cup. They were seated a few blocks from the gas station on an iron bench in the middle of Radiant Garden, both watching the numerous activities that were going on amongst the greenery. He shrugged, "Stuff happens,"

"I'm surprised you're not trying to cause me any bodily harm,"

Roxas raised a brow, "Do you want me to?"

"Not really,"

"Good. I didn't peg you as a masochist,"

Axel snorted, stretching his arms out along the back of the bench and kicking his legs out before him. "Then what _did_ you peg me as?"

"An idiot,"

"Ah, there's the bitter midget we all know and love," the redhead teased. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"I'm not _that_ short you know," he huffed.

"Admittance is the first step to recovery,"

"I will _stab_ you,"

"I have witnesses," Axel waved a hand toward the mass of people running about before them. He grinned, a spark in his green eyes.

Roxas hid the smile that was fighting its way onto his face behind his coffee cup. "It'll be worth it,"

The two fell into a comfortable silence, both examining the other patriots of the park. Majority of the people were fellow college students, with the occasional elderly person here and there, and it was void of any of the high-schoolers that usually loitered about. Probably something to do with the fact that it was early afternoon on a week day. The joys of picking your own class schedule.

Radiant Garden was pretty much the Central Park of Hollow Bastion. It was the casual place to be for all people of the versatile city. In the morning, the older citizens whose Victorian style houses lined the park would sit by the large fountain that was smack dab in the middle of the park—and odd depiction of un-proportional creatures with round heads, curved antennas and claws, complete with hearts carved onto their chests that some people declared 'romantic'. By noon, college students had made their way from the nearby campus and loitered throughout the park between classes, throwing discs, kicking around soccer or blitz balls, or just lazing around in the grass or benches—like they were currently doing. Around four the high-schoolers had meandered their way to the park to generally disrupt the peace, as well as whatever families that lived close enough to the heart of the city and actually spent time with each other.

And who could forget the junkies, prostitutes, and other shady characters that haunted the park at night. But the crime rate was going down, so thumbs up for that.

The two were pulled from their observations by a sudden yapping. A moment later, Roxas looked down with wide eyes at a small dog that had launched itself at his feet. It stood on it's haunches, front paws set on his knees and it waved it's tail back and forth as it barked at Roxas, tongue hanging out the side of it's mouth.

For a second, Roxas just sat staring at the small furry animal, eyes wide. Axel almost thought he was going to start crying. How funny would that be—the blondie being afraid of dogs. Granted that Axel was afraid of a nonexistent axe-murderer that was forever lurking in the shadows of his life…but that was different. Axe-murderers were a lethal threat, and it even had his own name in the title! _Ax_-murderers. That clearly meant that they were out to get him.

Roxas snapped out of his momentary trance, smiling softly as he set down his coffee. He reached down to grab the noisy dog, bouncing it on his lap lightly as he began to pet it. The animal quieted down instantly and merely stared at the blonde with wide, chocolate brown eyes. Roxas laughed and continued the onslaught of affection, cooing gently as he played with it's paws.

Axel stared on in horror.

Roxas…being cute? Roxas willingly interacting with another living being? Sacrilege! Blasphemy! What was the world coming to? Axel sobbed dramatically, falling to the ground as he shook his fist at the sky and shouted profanities.

Well…he did in his head, anyway. He didn't need to add to the populace of crazy people living in Hollow Bastion.

He watched the blonde with interest as he continued to dote on the dog. Roxas tapped its moist nose gently and rubbed vigorously at it's stomach. The dog soaked up the attention, panting happily and staring at Roxas with—what Axel assumed—was adoration.

Roxas turned to Axel with an arched brow, noticing his gaze. He frowned slightly. "What?"

"Nothing," the redhead replied with a shrug. He grinned. "You just look cute with the dog,"

Axel assumed that the widening of azure eyes and pink tint that crept across the blonde's face was just a trick of the light. Or maybe he'd been out in the sun for too long and was becoming delirious.

"Shut up before you suffocate me with your stupid,"

"Somebody doesn't know how to take a compliment," Axel teased lightly.

The blonde rolled his eyes, "Not stupid, irrelevant ones,"

"Is 'stupid' your only insult?"

"There's also dumbass, dipshit, and fucktard. Take your pick,"

"I think I prefer—Ah!" Axel cried out as something sharp clamped onto his hand, embedding itself into his skin a moment later. He turned his gaze fearfully downward and was provided with the image of the small dog that had been in Roxas' lap, now clamped onto his hand and emitting a low growl.

Axel blinked, thought about it, then freaked out.

Roxas, thank god, was a little bit quicker with his reaction. Immediately, he reached for the furry animal and tried to get it off of Axel. As amusing as the freakish redhead getting owned by a dog not even a fourth his size was, rabies wasn't, and he had no idea where the dog had been, nor was there a collar with tags to tell that it had received vaccination. And the idea of being blamed for a case of rabies really didn't jive with Roxas; it _had_ been sitting in his lap after all.

Axel flailing around like a freakin' motor-impaired idiot really wasn't helping Roxas rip the animal from his skin. After much movement and screaming (of Axel to _hold the fuck still_ by Roxas and incoherent jumbled words from Axel), Roxas finally managed to get a grip on the dog's jaw, slipping his fingers into the animals mouth and gently prying it open.

Axel quickly snatched his hand away, clutching it to his chest as he glared at the dog.

The dog glared back, even more ferocious as it bared it's teeth in a nasty snarl. Roxas interrupted the stare down, pushing the dog away gently with his foot as he stepped up to Axel and held out his hand.

"What?" the redhead hissed as he eyed him carefully. He clutched his abused hand protectively to his chest, turning away slightly. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Come _on_, let me see," he insisted, reaching out to grab the redhead. Axel turned away even further. "_Axel_, if you do not let me see you will get rabies and _die_,"

That got his attention.

He warily outstretched his hand for the blonde, keeping a careful eye on him all the way. Roxas snatched up his hand and began turning it every which way to examine it. "Stop being a baby," he stated firmly as he prodded at the wound.

"You didn't just get attacked by a psycho dog!"

"Shush,"

Axel pouted. Roxas almost slapped him. He would've, too, if he didn't feel kind of bad for the guy. _Kind of_. Like a tiny smidgen in the back of his mind, or at the bottom of his heart…wherever the hell that emotion was supposed to be. What was that supposed to be called anyway—when you felt bad for someone? Sympathy—empathy? Whatever.

"You need to clean this so it doesn't get infected," Roxas deduced after a few moments of Axel not freaking out.

He cocked a brow, "Since when are you a med student?"

"It's called common sense," the blonde muttered, looking at him pointedly. "Besides, my aunt's a vet,"

"I'm not an animal," he grumbled, a lewd grin appearing a moment later.

"Don't even," Roxas spat before the redhead had a chance to make the perverted joke that was undoubtedly brewing in his stupid head. Geez…maybe he did need new insults. He distracted himself with more inspection of Axel's newfound wound. It wasn't too deep, but still. "Do you have first-aid equipment in your dorm?"

"Like Band-Aids?" the redhead asked, perking up slightly.

"No,"

Too bad Roxas was a dream killer.

"Like peroxide,"

Axel cocked a brow, "Peroxide?"

"Yeah…you know that stuff that comes in the clear white bottle? Or brown…whatever, something like that. You use it to disinfect a cut,"

"Oh, that stuff. Hell no!"

"Why not?"

"It stings like a bitch,"

Roxas stared at the redhead blankly. He sighed.

"What about rubbing alcohol?"

"That hurts even worse!" Axel squawked.

Roxas opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, opened it again…and then closed it, once more. Really…he couldn't even…there was no point…

"Let's go," the blonde snapped, snatching up Axel's wrist, mindful of the bite, as he started out of the park. He weaved through the dabbles of people, unmindful to the protests of the redhead he was dragging behind.

"Wait, where are we going?" Axel questioned, tripping over his own feet.

Roxas glanced at him over his shoulder, "My place,"

Oh. Well. "Um, why?"

"Because you don't have the common sense of most people, and therefore do not have the proper equipment to clean your wound. And if you don't clean it, your hand is going to fall off and die, and you will be known as stumpy forever," the blonde said matter-o-factly. "Or maybe we could get you one of those hook things…Have you ever seen peter pan?"

Not like that was completely out of the blue. No, not at all. "Uh, no,"

Roxas came to a sudden halt, causing Axel, who was just dead weight by this point, to practically crash into him. The blonde, however, didn't seem to mind and opted instead for whipping around angrily, glaring up at Axel with vicious eyes.

This kid was definitely bipolar. There was no doubt about it. Axel had been (sorta, kinda, maybe) joking before—but he was positive now. He just hoped he could escape with his gonads intact.

"You've never seen _Peter Pan_?" Roxas hissed, looking at him as if he'd committed the greatest sin known to man. Fucking hell, he hadn't seen a stupid kid's movie; it wasn't like he had just paraded through some catholic church in a glittery tutu and the gay pride flag tied around his neck like a cape.

…He'd have to mention that to Demyx later—he was stupid enough to do it.

"So I haven't seen some Pixar movie, so—"

"Disney!" the blonde practically cried, eyes comically wide, "It's a _Disney_ movie! You can't honestly stand here and tell me you haven't seen it!"

"Yeah, well, I haven't," Axel had to admit, Blondie was actually kind of entertaining like this.

"And next you're going to tell me you haven't seen Aladdin," he spat, looking even more appalled (if at all possible) when Axel grinned sheepishly a moment later. "You're shitting me,"

"'Fraid not,"

"This is not acceptable," Roxas ground out, and though his voice had lowered in volume, it had only grown in intensity. He took firm grip of Axel once more and began dragging him down the street, this time with much more determination.

Five minutes later, Roxas was charging up the staircase of the Liberal Arts dormitory, having cursed out technology as a whole when the elevator decided it was going to take more than .5 seconds to arrive. Oh the inhumanity.

"Sit," the blonde said the moment they walked into his dorm, though it sounded more akin to a threat. His narrowed eyes dared Axel to do otherwise. And, really, some serial killers were well-known for having bipolar tendencies, and Axel really didn't want to get stabbed today—which what would surely happen in record time if he didn't obey. So Axel took a seat in the small living room Roxas directed him to with a pointy-nun finger.

Roxas disappeared down a hallway and Axel took a moment to bask in the silence, observing the quaint living space. Immediately he wondered if they were allowed to paint the walls of their dorm rooms, because he clearly remembered Demyx's walls being a deep shade of forest green, while the ones surrounding him currently were a burnt orange. When he had first seen his friend's dorm room, he figured that all dorms in the Arts section were painted that ghastly color, but apparently not. If they were actually allowed to paint their walls, then Axel hadn't gotten the memo—he and Zexion's walls were boring gray.

Axel continued to examine the room, eyes grazing over pictures that hung on the wall—he recognized Riku in quite a few of them, along with some brunet kid who looked kind of like Roxas—and the multitude of eclectic blankets that seemed to litter the living room. Alongside the blankets were a matching amount of equally mismatched pillows, all decorated with their own designs—some intricate and some looking as if they had been done by a five year old with a glue stick and fabric. He smiled slightly, reminded of the eclectic mix of furniture at Pluto's.

Any further observations were cut short by Roxas who reentered the room quite noisily, muttering under his breath as he tried to juggle multiple items in his hands. Axel stood to help the blonde, but was quickly paralyzed by an angry glare and an utterance of, "Stay,"

He was not a dog, dammit.

And that was totally why he didn't stay still—he squirmed around a bit and reclined in the sofa. Take _that._

"Give me your hand," Roxas said as he sat down on the couch beside him, depositing his armful of disinfectants between them. Unscrewing a clear bottle, he attached a cotton ball to the top of it and titled it slightly, moistening the cotton.

"What's that?" Axel asked suspiciously, eyeing the bottle. It didn't have a label, but it looked exactly the same as the bottles rubbing alcohol came in.

"It's just water, don't freak out,"

"Clearly, I'm not freaking out,"

"_Clearly_, you're about to start," Roxas said as he reached over the redhead to grab his hand. "So don't,"

Axel resisted the urge to screw his eyes shut as the cotton ball neared his wound. He had more than enough experience with getting his wounds cleaned as a teen, and every single time it hurt like a bitch.

This time was no exception. _Water my ass._

"Shit!" the redhead shouted, jumping up and trying to make an attempt at running away the moment the cotton ball touched his open wound, sending a burning sensation through his entire hand.

Roxas, however, was not having any of it, and in an instant had snatched Axel by his t-shirt, practically throwing him back onto the couch. Axel was not going down without a fight, making a grab for the end of the rug on the floor as a means to pull himself away from the psychotic blonde, but was stopped by a brutal punch to his shoulder blade.

"Ow!" he whined, turning over to glare at the other man who wore a smug smirk. Roxas took the opportunity to all but tackle him, sitting himself comfortably on the redhead's stomach.

"Now, are you going to sit still?" With the way he was holding the gauze and cotton ball, Axel really didn't think he had a choice. Still, he glared. Roxas' only smiled as he went to work on his injured hand once more. "Good,"

Ten minutes later, Axel watched as Roxas finished dressing his wound, ignoring the fact that the blonde was practically straddling him and his wiggling around every so often was getting damn uncomfortable. After what seemed an eternity, Roxas finally climbed off and admired his handy work. Even Axel had to admit it wasn't too shabby, and it hadn't hurt _that_ bad.

"Pretty good," the redhead commented offhandedly, examining the bandages that covered his right hand.

Roxas gathered his things and dumped them on the counter of the adjoining kitchen, shrugging. "My parents weren't home a lot, and Sora and I aren't the most coordinated people,"

"Sora? That your brother?"

"Twin,"

"Twin?" Axel repeated, disbelieving. He watched as Roxas crossed the room and began digging around in a tall cabinet beside the TV. "You have a twin?"

The idea of two devil spawns running around was terrifying.

"Mhmm," the blonde hummed, pointing to a nearby picture absent-mindedly as continued searching for whatever it was he wanted. Axel glanced at said picture, eyes falling on the brunet who had appeared in so many other photos on the wall. Huh. Well that made sense, he supposed. Though the two had similar features, he couldn't help but think the two looked like complete opposites. In the picture, 'Sora' was wearing a shit eating grin, standing atop what Axel assumed was a playground slide, arms placed in the classic 'super-hero' pose. While in the short time Axel had known the blonde, Roxas had seemed all doom and gloom, his twin looked like a pretty happy kid.

Roxas deposited himself beside Axel, pulling the redhead from his observation. The blonde picked up a nearby remote, making the TV come to life with a glowing blue screen 'Samsung home entertainment' scrolling across it.

"What…?" Axel trailed off with an arched brow.

"We're watching Aladdin," the blonde said as he leaned back, pulling his knees to his chest.

Axel narrowed his eyes, "…No,"

"What do you mean 'no'?" Roxas asked, turning to face him.

"I mean 'no' I'm not sitting two hours through a little kids movie,"

"Aladdin is universal, it doesn't matter how old you are! Besides, you obviously didn't have a childhood if you haven't seen Aladdin or Peter Pan,"

"I saw Cinderella, isn't that good enough?"

Roxas cocked a brow, "You saw Cinderella?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"That's…that's kind of gay,"

Axel scoffed, "Like you've never seen it,

"Never said I didn't," Roxas grinned, shrugging. Axel snorted.

"I'm still not watching Aladdin of all things,"

"Come on, this movie is amazing!"

"I don't think so,"

"Please?" Roxas asked, leaning forward with a pout. He blinked up with wide blue eyes, "For me?"

Axel was immune to bullshit, which was the category Roxas' 'look-how-cute-I-am-now-you-have-to-do-what-say' façade fell into.

"Why would I do something for you when you haven't done one nice thing for me?" He shot back with a smirk.

"I fixed up your hand," the blonde said, falling back in his seat.

"I didn't want you to," Axel corrected.

"I bought you coffee at Pluto's,"

"That's because you flipped a shit on me the day before,"

Roxas fixed him with a hard stare, "I haven't kicked your ass…_yet_,"

Axel laughed, "Like you could, you're barely five feet tall,"

"I'm five foot six, jizz-nugget,"

"…What did you just call me?"

"A jizz-nugget," Roxas repeated definitely. "Besides, I remember pinning you down like five minutes ago,"

"I don't recall this,"

"Probably 'cause you were busy whining like a bitch," Roxas said..

Axel's brows shot up, amused, "You wanna go, blondie?"

"After the movie," Roxas said, smiling.

Axel didn't object.

* * *

><p>AN: Had to cut this short because this was getting a bit long for my tastes, but that means part of the next chapter is already written.

**You guys made it this far, so why not take a few seconds and review, yeah?**

:)

p.s. Sorry if there are some errors, I sped through it when editing


	6. Don't you dare close your eyes

THREE REWRITES. THIS IS THIRD DEAR GOD. Sorry this took so long, but I wasn't pleased with it the other times I wrote it. I'm very happy with it now for the most part:D

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Namely:** littleanemonefish, destry, strawberry-wolf01, key2myheart13, YourFavorite,** and **axels-saint. **And thanks for all the alerts and faves! :majorheart:

Special thanks to the super awesome/shmexy/comic-book-nerd **axels-saint** who is now my beta who keeps me from making silly mistakes (and helped my writers-block, preventing me from shanking my laptop):"D Go check out her fic **_Secrets.  
><em>**And to Key2myheart13 who is just awesome. And entertains me to no end. And introduces me to music that gave me ideas for the rest of the story, even though she doesn't know it-emoteheartthatnooneloves-

Disclaimer: You're lucky I don't own KH or any of their boys. I don't own Marilyn Manson, either.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6:<strong> Don't you dare close your eyes

"…_Sex, sex, sex, and don't forget the violence. Blah, blah, blah, get your sad and lonely, lovey-dovey, take your stupid slogan and stick it in—everybody sing along: ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS READY?"_

Axel groaned, fumbling sleepily through his pockets for his phone. Stupid plastic piece of crap—Wait, maybe it was metal. Nah, probably plastic. Axel was a cheap ass when it came to his own money and since his parents had agreed to pay for his cellphone bill for his first year of college if he bought his own phone, he had gone for the cheapest thing there. Well the cheapest thing that didn't look like a modified piece of shit straight out of the nearest hobo's basket.

The redhead stabbed at the buttons of his cell angrily, ignoring the text from Demyx that flashed across the screen. Groaning, he tossed the phone to the side and turned over, prepared to fall back asleep, but was caught by a pair of blue eyes staring at him just a few feet away.

Oh yeah, he was still at Roxas' place.

"Marilyn Manson? Really?" The blonde questioned from the other end of the couch, smirking.

"Shut up, short stack, the man is a genius," he shot back.

"…He had his bottom ribs removed so he could suck his own dick,"

Oh, fuck. Gross.

"Yeah, well, everyone has their own quirks. What he does in his spare time isn't my problem,"

"You call that a quirk?"

"Hey, some people have OCD, some like to eat all the cheese off their pizza first, some have to clean off bowling balls with disinfectant wipes before they use them, and some like to suck their own dick," Axel said as he sat up, grinning when Roxas started to laugh.

"And which category do you belong to?"

"Bowling balls," the redhead replied. "Everyone uses those things, and you don't know where their hands have been. Seriously, on my twelfth birthday I saw some lady digging in her ass and then go pick up the bowling ball. Never again,"

"At least you don't follow in the footsteps of your 'genius'," Roxas teased.

"Oh I have people to do that for me,"

"I'm sure,"

Axel yawned as he stretched his arms, muscles and joints stiff from sleeping on the couch. He glanced at the TV, the screen having gone into sleep mode who knew how long ago—the last thing he remembered was Peter Pan introducing Wendy to the lost boys.

Yeah, he'd been forced through the damn Disney movies. Admittedly, Aladdin wasn't that bad. Hell, it was actually freakin' awesome! Not to mention he totally spied Roxas mouthing along to the words of each song when the blonde thought he wasn't looking. He wished he would've recorded it—and he would've, if his phone actually had a camera on it…And if he wasn't sure Roxas would flip a literal shit.

"What time is it?" he asked, too lazy to locate his phone on the floor.

Roxas sighed heavily—because it was _such_ a hassle to reach in your pocket and grab your phone—and pulled out his iPhone (lucky bitch), staring at the screen for a few moments before anything registered to his tired eyes.

"Seven,"

"That's not that ba—"

"In the morning,"

"Shit, are you serious?" Axel exclaimed. "We slept for…Fuck! We slept for fourteen hours!"

Roxas nodded, obviously not as bothered by this as Axel was. "I don't know about you, but I've hardly gotten any sleep this entire week. When my professors aren't shoving homework down my throat, my freakin' boss his bitching at me. I swear to god that woman is always PMS'ing,"

"Your boss?" Axel couldn't recall ever seeing someone hostile working at Pluto's. Everyone always seemed all shits and giggles. He vaguely wondered how Roxas fit in amongst that happy-go-lucky group and made a mental note to catch him while he was working.

"Yeah, she hates me…Well, she hates everyone. She's not really my 'boss' boss, she's one of the managers, but she thinks she's hot shit and can boss everyone around, even though she hardly does anything herself. And she's only a sophomore! I don't get how she's even a manager in the first place—I bet she slept with someone. But I don't think the owner pays attention to anything but his dog, really,"

By this point, Roxas was muttering to himself more than anything, glaring at various objects in the room as he did so. A certain string of obscenities pertaining to just where his manager could shove her bitchy attitude and her tampons was interrupted only by Roxas shoving a fork into his mouth, chewing angrily as he glared at the TV.

It was then that Axel noticed the slice of pie sitting on a plate in Roxas' lap. Pie for breakfast…Pie and—he glanced to the coffee table—coke. Slice o' pie and can of coke.

Dear god how was this kid not morbidly obese? Seriously, with the way he seemed to eat it was a wonder how he still has this tiny little frame. He looked like he hardly weighed 120.

Roxas, seeming to notice Axel's curious look (stare), turned his gaze to the redhead. "What?" he grumbled around a mouthful of food.

"Why aren't you fat?" he asked. Great choice of words, Axel, now Roxas is going to kill you. Goodie.

"…Should I be?"

"Well, yeah,"

Roxas glare. Sensing impending doom. Defense mechanisms activate.

"I just mean you practically inhale your food," Axel spat out quickly. Wait—dammit! He said activate defense mechanism not friggin' foot-in-mouth! "I mean you seem to eat all you want but still keep a nice, hourglass figure?" Yeah, flattery always worked.

Too bad Roxas wasn't a chick.

"Okaaay," the blonde drawled, placing his plate on the coffee table as he got to his feet. He eyed Axel suspiciously. "You're obviously not fully awake so I'm just going to ignore any stupid comments that come out of your mouth for the next ten minutes, 'kay?"

Axel nodded dumbly.

"Good," he said as he padded over to the kitchen and began to rummage through the cabinets. "Breakfast?"

"Sure," the redhead said with a shrug, getting up and following Roxas into the kitchen.

After a quick breakfast of sunny side up (one of the few things Roxas could cook, he learned) the two decided to take a walk on campus. It wasn't like there was anything else to do at eight in the morning and neither had class until early afternoon. They followed the path that led around the dorm buildings before going back into a small woodsy area behind the school where classes had supposedly taken place back when they first started the college and didn't have enough classrooms for all the departments.

On their journey Axel found out quite a bit about Roxas. Amongst other things he realized that, along with coffee, sleep also made for a very pleasant Blondie. He seemed almost normal, glares and insults kept to a bare minimum—and even then they were in jest.

He learned that Roxas had grown up only a few hours from the school in some little place called Twilight Town, having moved there when he was six from a somewhere called Destiny Islands, where he'd met his three best friends in middle school. Apparently, Riku had grown up on Destiny Islands, as well, and had been quite close with both Roxas and his brother, but had always gotten along better with the brunet. When they moved from Destiny Island, Riku had visited them every summer for at least a month until one day, by some sort of half-assed miracle, his father had gotten a job in the town just before the start of their freshman year.

To Axel, it sounded like something out of a B-list anti-climactic movie, but he said nothing.

According to Roxas, through high school he remained good friends with Riku but it was he and Sora who became best friends—which didn't bother him because he always migrated toward his own set of friends and 'Riku's too much of an ass, anyway'. Even though his friends decided to go to different colleges than him (but all remained in-state), he still kept in touch with them on a regular-basis and they all agreed to come back for holidays to see one another.

Apparently, the blonde had met Zexion in his senior year of high school when the slate-haired teen had moved down from Canada with his parents and younger sister. He explained that he probably wouldn't have ever ended up talking to the other boy if not for their younger sisters who instantly became friends from the moment they met—'More like Rikku jumped his sister, Paine, and wouldn't leave her alone for the rest of the week'.

Over the course of their last year, however, Roxas said they actually started hanging out and found out they actually had a lot in common. According to him, once you got passed Zexion's 'silent-I-will-cut-you-if-you-come-within-two-meters' aura, he was pretty cool.

In return, Axel told his own life story—though his was pretty mundane in comparison to the blonde's. Though he grew up in Oblivion, a bustling city a few states away, things were laid-back for the most part. There were always cars honking, vendors shouting, and people bustling down the sidewalk but that was just the normal style of living there. Nothing exciting ever really happened. He'd known Demyx since he was a brat, thanks to their moms being best friends, and the two really didn't have any other choice but to get along.

Not like that was ever much of a problem, they had clicked instantly. At two years old they had the same favorite toy—those colorful, different-sized rings that you stack up on the yellow pole—and at fourteen had the same taste in music. At sixteen they both began sporting ridiculous hairstyles, much to the chagrin of their parents, and at seventeen got their first tattoos together.

Thinking about it, Axel had to admit that his story was way worse than Roxas'. He had never realized how cheesy his relationship with Demyx was. God damn.

Not to say that the two never got into arguments or fought with one another. At one and a half Demyx threw his rattles directly at Axel's head, and in retaliation Axel chucked his bottle at the blonde's nose. When they were seven they enrolled in tae kwon do together, which in the end was just a waste of time that lasted for all of a month before resulting in disaster. Disaster in the form of what was supposed to be an innocent 'spar' turned into an all-out fist fight, one of the teacher's rocking a black eye from when he'd tried to pull the two apart.

And who could forget the last month of junior year when Axel had tried to convince Demyx that his boy-friend was a lying, stuck-up, ass-in-the-box whore was obviously cheating on him. The mulleted-teen had punched him directly in the face for that one and they didn't talk to each other for a week. The silence was only broken when Axel walked into homeroom, saw Demyx's puffy eyes, and went to go seek out the blonde's ex. He found the teen making out with the very same girl Axel knew him to be cheating on Demyx with during free-period for the last month. Needless to say, Axel punched his lights out and kneed him in the groin.

It was a good day.

Besides their entire life stories, the two also threw in some pieces of seemingly useless information.

For instance, Axel found out that Roxas' favorite color was green and that he was afraid of geese due to some traumatizing experience at a farm when he was in the seventh grade and a crazed goose had repeatedly bit him in the ass and proceeded to chase him around for five minutes.

It was then that Axel spotted a flock of geese placed conveniently across campus and snatched up Roxas' hand, forcefully dragging him over to the birds despite his protests and failed attempts at digging his heels into the ground. When they were a few meters away from the geese Roxas looked like he was about to have an aneurism and Axel, resisting the urge to laugh in his face, gave his hand a reassuring squeeze . He then pulled the blonde forward and the two went screaming into the flock of geese.

As it turned out, Roxas was right. Geese were scary as fuck. They sprinted back to the dorms in record time, hell in the form of pissed off, over-weight birds. Axel was just happy one didn't decide to fly overhead and take a shit on them.

It was around noon that they finally parted ways, Axel heading back to his dorm to grab a quick shower and brush his teeth before class at one. Thankfully, his first class was with one of his more sane teachers.

The day proceeded without a hitch, Axel going through the motions and sighing in relief when he was finally free to go pass out in his bed. Such thoughts were interrupted by Demyx who was waiting in front of his door and dragged him along to go get pizza.

Not that Axel was really complaining, the stuff was good. Who ever invented meat-lovers supreme deserved a cookie. A really big cookie.

*0*

Saturday was laundry day.

Saturday was laundry day and Riku was a bitch.

Saturday was laundry day, Riku would forever and always be a bitch, and Roxas was going to stab his pet snake or whatever the hell it was.

The snake part was just for the sake of getting rid of another thing Roxas had to fear. He wouldn't stab it so that it would die or anything…just so it would stay the hell away from him. And Riku seemed pretty attached to the thing lately so maybe that meant he would stay away from Roxas, too. And he could take his goddamn laundry with him.

Roxas had lost a bet. He had lost a bet and was now stuck with Riku's sweaty, disgusting, downright unbearable (it actually wasn't that bad, he thanked the fact that Riku was a true to nature priss when it came to his clothing) laundry. Lucky him, he now got to spend his Saturday not only doing his own laundry, but Riku's as well. And Sora was, of course, not help in helping him out of it.

The brunet had declared that "Fair was fair, and you lost the bet so it's only fair". _Fair my ass_. Since when had Sora become the reasonable one?

And so the antics of the cruel silver-haired man were the reason for the blonde's current adventure to the Laundromat.

Roxas slammed the door to his car and glared at the offending machine. The thing had crapped out on him on more than one occasion, and if he was to go by the sound it had been making on the way to the Laundromat, it's time was coming to an end. The thing was a death trap; it had been from the day he had received it from his father.

All through high school he had been made to bum rides with Riku alongside Sora, but it wasn't like it had really been a problem, they'd known the guy since forever. Both of them had been prepared to go off to college carless, condemned to get around on two feet…until the day that their father had presented them with his piece of shit Toyota that had been sitting in the garage since their birth. And he had expected the twins to share it.

After their first ride in the car (which happened to be down to HBU in the middle of July), Sora had sworn up and down to never step into the car again, relinquishing full ownership to Roxas. It hadn't been that bad in the beginning, and it was really just Sora's sucky driving that caused the car to perform so badly. At that point in time, it was actually in pretty good condition. Not like Roxas had actually told him that.

Glaring at it now, he wished he would've.

It seemed like after each trip in the car it had gotten progressively worse, and by the time he had gotten back from his brief, dean-excused break, Zexion in tow, the thing was barely holding on. Roxas avoided driving it at all costs, the only time he did being when he needed to do laundry. The washing machines and driers that were provided by the University dorms were either broken or constantly in use, forcing him to find another way to get his clothes clean. And it just so happened that he didn't want to walk three miles with numerous bags of clothes to the nearest Laundromat. Who knew.

And so that was the story of how he had come into possession of the piece of shit, named Bessy, that was his car and, by some fucked up proxy, ended up going to Bell's Laundromat every Saturday to clean his crap.

And today, Riku's crap, as well.

The moment he got back onto campus he was going to sneak into Riku's room (not that much sneaking would be involved, he knew where the key was) and put dye into his shampoo bottle. _Take that, asshat. See what happens when you put that in your pretty little hair._

Roxas hauled his bags out of the trunk and up onto the sidewalk toward the Laundromat. He struggled for a few moments with the door, nearly impossible to open the damn thing when both of his hands were filled with laundry, before pushing his way into the small building. It was practically empty—no it was empty save for the clerk that was sitting at the front counter, and Roxas was pretty sure he was sleeping his way into a coma.

Whatever, not his problem.

Hauling the bags over to one of the many washing machines lined against the wall, Roxas began shoving in clothes at random. There wasn't any point in separating it, it was Riku's shit anyway. Maybe if Riku hadn't cheated in their stupid freakin' bet, maybe he would've taken some mercy on him but no, stupid look-at-me-I'm-such-a-doucher Riku decided he was going—goddammit! He didn't even want to think about it. It was a stupid pair of underwear, damn underwear, it should've totally counted it—

Roxas stabbed at the button on the washing machine, making it rumble as he went to slump into one of the plastic chairs lined in the middle of the Laundromat. He groaned, dropping his head against the back of his chair as he threw his hands up exasperatedly. Blue eyes scanned the deserted area; pale yellow walls, spotted linoleum tiles, hanging ceiling lamps, and glossy machines. "This is so boring,"

"Well the party doesn't start until nine,"

Roxas jumped at the sudden voice, glancing over to the entrance where a familiar redhead stood. His unruly hair was pulled back into a high ponytail , dressed in a simple pair of tattered jeans and white t-shirt, laundry bag slung over his shoulder.

"Sorry, Riks, I gotta go," he said into the cell pressed to his ear. "Someone cooler than you just showed up,"

"_Hey, Wh—"_

Click.

Ah, technology.

"I'm bored," Roxas whined, watching as the redhead slumped into the chair besides him, kicking out his feet. He glanced over at the blonde before staring up at the ceiling.

"Me, too, kid," Axel sighed, not missing the analytical stare Roxas was giving him. Weirdo. "Me, too,"

A short silence, and then, "How old are you, anyway?"

Arching a brow, Axel let out a short laugh, "Uh, nineteen,"

"Seriously?"

"October ninth,"

"You don't look like it," the blonde said and Axel noted the way his slightly-freckled nose crinkled up. Since when did Roxas have freckles in the first place? He was pretty sure they weren't there the first time he met the blonde…yet there they were, dusting the bridge of his nose lightly. Huh. Axel bet he penciled them on every morning. He could see that. And Roxas totally seemed like the type to wear makeup…okay, no, not really, but whatever. Axel could amuse himself, and amuse himself he did. "I thought you were at least twenty-two,"

Axel's face contorted into one of mock-horror, gripping the cloth above his heart, "Twenty-two? Oh god—quick! Call Clinique and order a gallon of their finest wrinkle cream!" He slumped over, sobbing. "Don't look at me, I'm hideous!"

Even with his face buried in his hands, Axel somehow knew the blonde was rolling his eyes. Straightening up, he caught the tail-end of the eye roll—right again. Axel: 1 Everyone else: 0

"If you're only nineteen, what gives you the right to call me kid?"

"I'unno," Axel said, shrugging as he gave him a once over. "How old are you?"

"Eighteen,"

"Birthday?"

"July seventh,"

"I'm nearly a year older than you, it's good enough," the redhead said with a grin.

Roxas rolled his eyes, "Three-fourths of a year,"

"Same thing,"

"Hardly," Roxas snorted.

"Besides," Axel said. "You're the height I was at when I was thirteen,"

"Well you were a freakishly tall thirteen year old,"

"_Or_, you're a freakishly short eighteen year old," Axel grinned.

"And you're a ginger,"

Roxas suppressed a laugh at the horrified face the redhead was currently sporting.

"I am not a ginger," Axel hissed.

"Uh, yeah," he said, pulling on one of the redhead's longer spikes. They were surprisingly soft. He was under the impression that Axel had taken the spikes from those mid-evil coffins and glued them to his head. "You are. You're the most ginger of them all,"

Axel snatched his lock of hair from the blonde's grip, only to shove it in his face a moment later. "You see this? This is red! Not ginger—Red!"

"Is that what the dye bottle told you?"

At this point, Axel actually looked offended. Roxas felt bad for a minute…and then he didn't. Maybe he was just hungry. A sandwich sounded good right now. Or maybe a burger. Yeah a burger, mmmm.

"This is all natur_al,_"

"Yeah, my _ass_," Roxas shot back. "That's totally fake,"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!

"Nuh-uh!"

"Prove it,"

"You're not getting into my pants that easily, Blondie," Axel said as he cracked a lewd grin. Wiggling his brows, "At least not that early in this relationship,"

"What relationship?" scoffed Roxas.

"This one, obviously," the redhead teased as he threw an arm around the blonde. Roxas shrugged him off.

"You're delirious," he said dryly, watching the rotating machine across from him. It was just so _fascinating_. As was the obnoxious face that suddenly came into his line of sight, entirely too close for comfort. And he still had that stupid ass grin plastered across his face. Roxas was going to punch him. That was that. He was going to punch Axel and that would end it.

And it wasn't because Roxas could feel the heat rising to his cheeks, oh no.

It was because Axel was stupid.

And everyone knew it. Everyone in the universe of Roxas was perfectly aware of the stupidity that was Axel. Vanilla latte-drinking Axel.

"D'aw," the redhead cooed, smirking. Roxas wanted the grin back. "Is Blondie embarrassed?"

"_Blondie_," Roxas hissed, "Is going to shove you in a washing machine if you don't shut up,"

"Empty threats," Axel sing-songed. "Empty threats,"

The blonde glared half-heartedly. "You're a dumbass, you know that, right?"

"But I'm a sexy du—"

"Just shut up,"

Thankfully, Axel actually listened for once and obediently shut his trap, leaving Roxas to enjoy the silence. Silence was good; it was the holy grail; the source of everything that is just in the world. With silence came the greater things in life. It brought—

"I thought you were an axe-murderer when I first met you," Axel said.

Roxas coughed, choking on his own spit.

"_What?"_

"I thought you were an axe-murderer," the redhead said, shrugging as if it was no big deal. And it wasn't, because Roxas had turned out to be a perfectly normal, non-axe-murdering being, and that was all that mattered.

"Why?"

"I'unno, just got that vibe,"

"You got the _vibe_ that I was an axe-murderer?"

"Yep,"

"Okaaaay," Roxas furrowed his brow, staring at the redhead. "When exactly did you stop thinking that?"

"When you started singing along to 'A Whole New World' the other day,"

Roxas narrowed his eyes; Axel snorted.

"It was cute, really," he said, a half-assed attempt at reassuring the blonde. Roxas simply grumbled something under his breath and continued to stare at the clothes in the washing machine.

"Hey," Roxas glanced up to see Axel with a cocked brow, staring at the mountain that was Roxas' laundry bags. "Why do you have so much? You can't honestly wear that much stuff in a week,"

The blonde sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. "Most of it is Riku's,"

"And why are you doing Riku's laundry?" Axel inquired, thin eyebrow arching even higher.

"I lost a bet," he grit out, to which Axel only laughed. Of course he would think it was funny.

"What was the bet?"

"It involved underwear and old ladies at that café on the edge of town…I don't wanna talk about it,"

Axel grimaced, the mental picture of all the plausible possibilities enough for him to not want to press the matter. He did, however, have another idea.

"Is Riku's stuff in there now?"

Roxas furrowed his brow, glancing at the machines before looking back at Axel, only slightly concerned by the gleam in his harlequin eyes. "Uh, yeah, why?"

The redhead got to his feet without a response, dragging a white laundry back behind him as he made his way over to Roxas' machine. Clicking the pause button, he yanked open the door and rummaged around his bag for a few moments before producing something with a wide grin. He turned to Roxas, brandishing his loot as if it was some world-championship trophy and not a pair of red, heart covered boxers.

Roxas probably would've commented on this if not for the gears slowly turning in his head, what Axel was doing clicking a moment later.

"Riku'll have a nice little surprise," the redhead chirped happily as he tossed the undergarment into the machine amongst the whites, slamming the door shut behind him.

*0*

Two hours later the boys found themselves on the way to Riku's dorm, traveling up the numerous amounts of stairs since the elevator was currently broken. Axel had insisted that he came along to drop off the silverette's clothes, claiming that his expression was going to be just too good to pass up. Roxas didn't object—it had been his idea after all, and in a way the blonde felt that Axel was his partner in crime at the moment. And of course you're supposed to share the glory with your partner in crime—what kind of person would you be if you didn't?

Finally, they reached the top floor and quickly made the trip down the hall to room 709. Though Riku wasn't in any of the arts programs he was one of the few lucky bastards who had been given a double room but no roommate, and therefore lived by myself. Naturally, Axel was oozing with jealously. Lucky son of a bitch.

Roxas rapped his knuckles against the door lightly, waiting a few moments with no response before doing it again. Nothing.

"Maybe he's not home," Axel suggested, though he hoped Riku was just taking a shit or something and couldn't get to the door right away. He really wanted to see his face when he got his clothes, at least half of them all pretty and pink now. That's what he got for wearing so many pale colors.

"No, he's here," the blonde said, pressing his ear to the door, hearing the faint thrum of music. With a sigh, he backed away and reached for the top of the door frame, snatching down a key a moment later. Axel cocked a brow in response but remained silent as Roxas jammed the key into the lock and pushed the door open.

Riku's dorm was set up so that the moment you walked in, you were automatically facing the living room, as were most dorms. While most people had it set up so that the TV or whatever other source of entertainment one had was placed against the far wall or in the corner to the left (the two spots with the most outlets), Riku had his flat screen mounted smack dab in the middle of the right wall, couch placed directly across from it. This made it so that, upon entering the dorm, you could see both who was lounging on the couch and what they were watching on TV completely.

Why was this of any importance?

Riku was on the couch but was not alone, practically lying atop some other guy, his long silver-locks falling over his shoulders and blocking the view of who it was, only brown spikes to be shown. His hand traveled up the other man's torso, lifting up his shirt bit by bit and seemingly oblivious as he broke the kiss he was engaged in and moved to suck gently on the other male's neck. The brunet moaned, arching his back the slightest bit.

"R-Riku," he panted as Riku's other hand slipped down to the brunet's jean-covered groin. He opened his eyes slightly to peak down at the silver-haired man but froze as blue eyes similar to Roxas' landed on the company across the room. Riku paused at the brunet's suddenly rigid body, murmuring something to which he only got a slight shake of the head. Following the brunet's line of sight, he, too, spotted the two standing in the doorway.

"Oh, shit,"

"Axel," the redhead glanced down at Roxas who's expression seemed to be a mix of horror and disgust. "Do me a favor and claw my eyes out,"

* * *

><p>5,000+ words, longest yet! Once again, thanks to my loveley beta<p>

**You made it this far, why not leave a quick review?**

**Funfact: **In the doc manager all the chapters for this story are named 'poopy' with the chapter number. I have issues.


	7. But stop the tape

Thanks so much for all of the reviews and everything else, you guys! You make me so happy *O* -explodes with joy-

Replies to anonymous- **Destry**: XD Don't worry, the whole afraid of geese thing stems from my mother having been afraid of them and the farm incident is something that happened to me in the seventh grade. You're ostrich fear is nothing to be ashamed of XD **YourFavorite**: Am I allowed to say I love you? Too bad, saying it anyway. I love you. Your reviews always make me smile C: **MooMoo:** thanks, bro :)

**Disclaimer:** I really don't see the need for this anymore. We've all established that I'm just some wannabe SOB who doesn't own KH or any of it's boy toys.

**A/N:** There is a bug that may or may not be alive in my house that has kept me paranoid for the past 24 hours, and I am almost out of nutella. I hate my life. But SO MUCH LOVE to key2myheart13 who beta-d this for me in lieu of my beta who is out of town. Seriously, the girl is amazing. Go kiss her virtual feet or something.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7:<strong> But stop the tape

"R-Roxas?" the brunet on the couch squeaked, eyes wide. He looked to the silver-haired teen on top of him before glancing back at his brother, quick to shove the former onto the floor once he realized the compromising position they were in. He laughed nervously, "H-Hey buddy,"

Roxas blinked. And it wasn't just any blink. It was one of those hard, prolonged blinks that seemed to take like two seconds when most took but a millisecond, and ended with him snapping his eyes open wide before narrowing them dangerously. He probably would've looked a lot more threatening if not for the fact that his face was bright red from the end of his button nose to the tips of his ears.

"Sora…" he started shakily, taking a hesitant step forward with thoughts of smacking his brother upside the head. This, however, did not go so well as his body was still in shock from what he had just seen, causing his knees to buckle and him to falter slightly, stopped from hitting the ground only by Axel's arm snaking around his waist and keeping him upright. Had it been any other moment, Roxas probably would've shoved him away, but the situation being as it was, all of his aggression was geared toward the couple who were bright red (Well, Sora was, Riku didn't have enough decency to be embarrassed) in the living room.

It wasn't even that he was angry for them being together, dear god no. It was about fucking time, he'd only been telling Sora to get his ass in gear for the past year, and knew for a fact that Riku had been pining after his brother since their freshman year of high school, though the silverette would never admit it aloud. No, Roxas was pissed because he had had the unfortunate fate of walking in on them…them…

Oh fuck.

"Sora, please make sure you're decent," He hissed, bringing a hand up to cover his eyes suddenly. Seeing his brother with a hard-on was one thing he could go through life without seeing, especially if it was caused by Riku, who was essentially like a brother to him. But then that would be incest, and right about now Roxas felt the need to vomit.

"Dude, they're fine," Axel chuckled from above him. Roxas silently cursed him for being nearly a head taller—fucking giant. "I imagine having your brother walk in on you can be a bit of a mood killer,"

The smack that Roxas dealt him was perfectly justified.

"Look, Rox, I can explain," Sora spit out quickly as he scrambled to his feet, accidently kicking Riku in the gut in the process. Roxas held back a snicker. "We were just—"

"Sora, it's pretty obvious what we were doing," The silver-haired man drawled from the floor as he rubbed his abused abdomen. Sora glared.

"Shut _up_, Riku," he hissed before turning back to the blonde. "We were just, um…Riku was giving me a massage! Because I, uh, fell down the stairs! Yeah, that's it! Clumsy me, heh heh,"

"He was giving your crotch a message?" Roxas inquired, arching a brow.

Sora's eyes widened comically, cheeks burning an unhealthy shade of red as he began spluttering incoherently. "W-Well, h…w-w…I, uhm…"

"At least I know why you were so adamant on me losing the bet," Roxas said as he tossed the laundry bag onto the floor, contents spilling out. Riku yelped upon seeing his pretty pink clothes scattered across the floor, stumbling over to them immediately.

"What the _fuck_?" he exclaimed.

"You could've just told me, you know," Roxas said solemnly, ignoring Riku. "I'd rather that then having to walk in on you to doing…" And he felt the vomit crawling back up his throat again.

"What the hell is this?" The silver-haired man shouted as he picked up a t-shirt that looked like it had a bad breast cancer support tie-dye job, shaking it furiously. Axel did nothing to repress his cackle.

"You don't like your new and improved wardrobe, Riku?"

"You mean you don't care?" Sora asked his brother, brow furrowed.

"Sora," the blonde sighed. "Why would I care?"

"The fuck I do!"

"But tough guys wear pink, Riku!"

"Besides, there'll be much less sexual tension this way," Roxas said simply, ignoring the idiots in the background.

Riku threw a pair of pink pants at the redhead, nailing him in the face. Soon after he was following the article of the clothing through the air and tackling Axel to the ground.

"What? W-What are you talking about?" Sora stammered.

"Riku, you bitch, no hair pulling!"

"Oh, please," Roxas rolled his eyes over-dramatically, though it was the perfect amount of dramatics in his opinion. "Riku's been after you since, like, forever. I'm just glad he finally grew a pair,"

"Oh, fuck you, Roxas," Riku shouted, finally deciding to join the conversation. Roxas glanced over, raising a brow at the two who were really just a tangled bunch of limbs on the floor, each with a hand fisted in the other's hair and tugging harshly. "I was ju—Ow! Dammit, Axel!"

"I'll let go when you let go," the redhead bit out, wincing as Riku continued to pull.

"Fine," he hissed. "Ready, one…two…three!" Both fell back, smacking their heads painfully on the ground if the resounding crack that sounded was anything to go by.

"Bitch," Axel grumbled, rubbing his scalp.

Riku narrowed his aquamarine eyes, "Fucker,"

"Douchebag,"

"Ass-bandit,"

Axel snorted, "Like you're one to talk!"

Riku rolled his eyes as Roxas suppressed a laugh.

"Anyways, Sora is your problem now," the blonde commented off handedly as he ventured into the kitchen and began rummaging through the cabinets. He didn't even bother looking through the fridge; all he would find was celery, tomatoes, and other gender-confused fruit/vegetable/crap. Stupid health-nut Riku—why would you deny yourself something as delicious as carbs?

"Hey!" the brunet exclaimed. Riku merely shrugged, smirking.

"Happy to have him,"

"Oh, I know," Roxas said as he spied a container of roasted peanuts on the counter. "You've only been trying to get into his pants for the past two years,"

"Two years?" Sora squawked.

"Well, technically four, I guess, since freshman year," he continued, tossing a peanut into Axel's waiting mouth as the redhead leaned against the counter across from him. "But you were going out with Kairi, Sora, so he held off. You shoulda seen him, though, _so_ jealous,"

Oh yes, Roxas was enjoying the way Riku was squirming to the fullest. Because, in his opinion, pink clothes weren't enough. Riku would learn to never make Roxas do his laundry again, even if it was bet—he better damn well forfeit. Roxas was _not_ a maid.

But he certainly didn't expect Sora to actually _tackle_ Riku back onto the floor, fisting the collar of his shirt and shaking him violently.

"Freshman year?" Sora screeched. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Riku was making it a point to avoid any and all eye contact with the brunet, despite the fact that Sora was invading his space in every way, shape, and form.

"Well, um, I…didn't think you'd—"

More violent shaking, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME WE'VE BEEN WASTING?"

*O*

Axel sighed heavily.

Roxas ignored him.

He sighed again.

Roxas turned a page in his book.

He sighed, conveniently flopping down onto the bed, arms stretching over the paragraph Roxas had just started in on. The blonde glared at the offending arms, hoping that if he stared long enough they would spontaneously combust. Or maybe acid would drop from the sky and disintegrate every inch of his skin. And then perhaps after that it would eat through his bones as well, because, knowing Axel, he'd probably be a damn annoying poltergeist and just sit there rattling his bones.

Roxas was doing his best to ignore the redhead, but it was proving to be a difficult feat when Axel was pining after attention like a dog. And when dogs started pining for attention, you ignored them until they learned their lesson. Usually, they would get bored after ten minutes or so and go chew on their asshole or something, but this had been going on for the past forty-five minutes and Axel was showing no signs of relenting.

It was the first week of December and for the past hour they had been trying fruitlessly to study for finals. Well, Roxas had been trying to study and Axel just sat there being…Axel. The lucky bastard had finished all of his finals the previous day, while Roxas wasn't so fortunate. His last one was tomorrow morning, bright and early at seven a.m., and he was hell-bent on getting in as much studying as possible in the next twenty-four hours.

Axel, however, did not like this plan.

He had blown up the blonde's phone relentlessly, calling and texting him none stop until Roxas had finally gotten fed up and shut off his phone. At that point, Axel had travelled across campus and sat in front of Roxas' dorm room for two hours, alternating between banging on the wooden door and singing off key (Holy shit, he sounded like road kill in it's last moments of life, dragging itself down the highway with it's entrails hanging out) until the blonde yanked open the door, unleashing all hell.

The punch Roxas had successfully landed in the redhead's gut did not deter him from dragging Roxas back to his dorm room, insisting that they studied there because it would be "Way more fun then you're bat cave" and would entertain Axel at the same time.

Because that was totally Roxas' purpose in life: Entertaining Axel.

The redhead insisted that he would help Roxas study but that, of course, was complete and utter bullshit. For the first fifteen minutes, things had been going all right. Axel read him questions from his textbooks and reviewed notecards like a good little slave, but eventually that got boring for him and he started reading out things such as: "You see a super sexy—And I mean _unbearably_ sexy, he makes you wanna cream you pants—redhead across the way and you know for a fact that he holds a vital piece of information, how do you get him to spill the beans?"

Roxas had glowered. Axel grinned, clapping as he giggled maniacally, "That's right—you seduce him with your eyes! Good job, Roxy!"

Roxas smacked him off the bed after that.

Returning to the present, Roxas snatched his book out from under Axel's fat, cellulite covered arms (They were actually pretty well-toned, but whatever, it made Roxas feel better) and contemplated smacking the redhead with it. It hadn't worked five minutes ago, though, so he really didn't think it would work now.

Another sigh.

"Oh my god, Axel, what?" Roxas snapped, at his wits end. "What?"

Axel stared at him blankly for a moment before a grin slowly spread his lips, "Hi."

In an instant, the blonde was up and off of the bed, shoving his various books and papers into his bag while simultaneously making it out into the hallway and toward the front door. Axel was on his heels a moment later, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back before he could get any further.

"Cool your jets, Rox; it was just a joke,"

Azure eyes narrowed.

A very stupid joke.

"Seriously, though, let's go do something," the redhead continued, sliding his hand down to grip Roxas' and give it a light squeeze. The blonde pulled away after a moment with a sigh.

"Axel, I have to study,"

"You've been studying all day! Keep going like this and you're going to overdo it and burn out,"

Roxas groaned.

"Come on, you know I'm right," Axel sing-songed, to which Roxas merely sighed yet again. "Was that an 'Axel, you beautiful man, you're totally right' sigh, or a 'Dear God, just take me here and now!' sigh?" he asked with a grin.

Roxas rolled his eyes, resisting the upward twitching of his lips, "No, it was an 'Axel shut the fuck up before I maim you' sigh,"

"D'aw, is that a smile I see, Roxy? It is!" Axel squealed over-dramatically as he began to pinch the blonde's cheeks, cooing like a delirious grandmother.

"Dork," he laughed, though it came out sounding more like 'fork' due to the deformed way the redhead was stretching his cheeks.

"C'mon, Blond-eh, let's go have some fun," said Axel, already pulling away Roxas' bag and tossing it to the floor. He cackled as he dragged the shorter man out the front door, "We can go see Sora and Riku,"

"Dear God, no," Roxas groaned. In the past month since the whole 'walking in on Sora and Riku eating each other' incident, it had happened several more times and, at this point, Roxas was honestly afraid to be left alone in a room with them. Or to be in a room with them, period. Sora seemed to be hell bent on making up for 'wasted time' and it wasn't abnormal for them to jump each other at any given moment. Once, Roxas had gotten up to get a napkin, and when he came back, Sora was straddling Riku whilst shoving his tongue down his throat, not even noticing when Roxas took his leave and slammed the door behind himself.

"Just kidding, don't get your panties in a bunch. We can go over to Demyx's. Zexion's there, too,"

On top of Riku and Sora's new relationship, Zexion and Demyx had formed some type of odd friendship. Odd in the sense that Demyx truly didn't know what it meant to shut up and Zexion, who usually had a low tolerance for bullshit (aka Demyx), just sat there and let him go on. Axel blamed this on the fact that Demyx was known to bust into their dorm (Axel had made the mistake of giving him a key) unannounced, lazing around and playing his Xbox all day. On more than one occasion, Axel hadn't been home at the time, leaving Zexion (the poor guy) to deal with Demyx, who undoubtedly took it upon himself to harass the slate-haired man, and had eventually built up a tolerance because, really, there weren't any other options.

"They're making s'mooooreesss," Axel sing-songed.

Roxas would blame his own friendship with Axel on the fact that the two people he was closest to on campus had practically abandoned him (Shut the fuck up, he was perfectly aware that he was over-exaggerating, thank you very much). It wasn't because he actually liked the big dork, no not at all. And never in a million years would he ever admit to thinking that Axel was somewhat of a cool person and was maybe sorta kinda fun to hang out, because Roxas wasn't liar. No, not at all.

For the record, if you're buying any of this, you're a dumbass.

Roxas raised a brow, "Microwave?"

"Yep,"

It was a known fact that microwave s'mores were the best kind of s'mores.

"Let's go,"

*O*

An hour later, Roxas dropped himself none-too-graciously onto Axel's chest, effectively knocking the wind out of him. Axel, however, would never let something as trivial as oxygen deprivation get in the way of him totally p'wning Roxas.

Ignore the fact that the blonde was currently pinning his arms to the couch and practically immobilizing him.

"Just eat the damn thing!" Roxas hollered from his perch atop the redhead, glaring venomously down at him.

"I refuse!"

"Stop being a fucking pansy and eat it!"

"Never!"

On the floor, Zexion and Demyx started yet another game of Black Op zombies, being careful to avoid being smacked with a giant light stand by George Romero.

Sure, Demyx had lured Axel over with the promise of s'mores, but he said nothing about some shit called nutella. Axel had practically skipped into the apartment excitedly, rushing over to the counter where he spotted graham crackers and marshmallows, but no chocolate in sight, only some deformed brown jar. When he asked where the vital ingredient known as chocolate was, Roxas had merely looked at him like he was crazy, Demyx too busy stuffing his face and Zexion rummaging around in the freezer for God knows what. The shorter blonde had then continued to wave a knife covered in the brown-goop out of the jar in Axel's face as if the answer was obvious.

It wasn't.

Then, after then a few seconds of Roxas being a know-it-all, it had dawned on Axel and he had all but screamed in outrage (meaning he did). Because, seriously, what kind of pretentious asshole put chocolate in a jar? And what the hell kind of name was Nutella? Where did that even _come_ from?

Upon realizing that Axel had never had the vermin-food known as Nutella, Roxas had flipped a shit, which brought them to their current predicament in which the redhead refused to try it and the blonde held a spoonful of the crap in front of his mouth threateningly.

"EAT IT!"

"FUCK NO!"

"Axel," Roxas grit out, leaning forward so their noses were but an inch apart. "If you do not eat it I will _kill_ you,"

"You've only been saying that for the three mo—mmf!"

Roxas smiled smugly, watching happily as Axel was forced to eat the deliciousness known as Nutella, never mind the fact that he was practically choking on the giant glob that the blonde had shoved down his throat. In Roxas' mind, Nutella was worth dying for (as were many other foods but that wasn't important at the moment). Nutella…Nutella was like sex. In fact, Nutella was better than sex.

Seriously, they should just bring a giant Costco-sized jar to one of those Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings and—Wham! Problem solved.

"So?" the blonde asked once Axel swallowed, if not somewhat painfully.

"Ass," Axel grumbled, though the way he licked his lips for the remaining chocolate did not go unnoticed.

Roxas grinned.

*O*

In lieu of everyone having finishing finals, Axel, Demyx, Zexion, and Roxas had decided to go out celebrating, spending a night on the town, being wild party animals.

Being the worn down college students who actually had to work for their education rather than have mommy and daddy pay for it like you saw on TV, however, their idea of doing this was having an all night movie marathon in which the first person to fall asleep was to be thrown into an ice bath.

Currently, three of the four were sat near the windows of Pluto's coffee house, waiting for Roxas to get off work at ten. They'd come in an hour early with thoughts of annoying the blonde until the end of his shift and keeping him away from the grasp of eternal boredom—well, Demyx and Axel had, Zexion just wanted to finish reading his latest novel. It seemed like a perfect way to pass the time…and then they met Larxene.

Larxene was just as bitchy, and then some, as Roxas had described her, and was the epitome of jackass bosses—though she wasn't really a 'boss' as Roxas had mentioned. Unfortunately for them, Larxene had been the one running cash register upon their arrival and had let all three of them known why Roxas hated her as he did.

Put simply she was a cantankerous whore.

If she was a man, Axel would've punched her…in the mouth.

Being as it was, he was contemplating doing it anyway, regardless of gender. Women were always griping about wanting to be treated as 'equals' so they really shouldn't try to pull the gender card when Axel leapt across the counter and smacked the woman upside the head with a coffee pot.

Not like he had actually done this, just daydreamed about it more than a few times after the woman called Roxas a twat. He made a mental note to either teach the blonde how to stick up for himself or how to write a harassment complaint on behalf of himself and at least half of the other employees.

Axel had already developed a strong distaste for the woman—not quite hating her, because he believed that you had to know someone on a personal level before hating them, but quite close—and was currently organizing a personal vendetta against her in the recesses of his mind.

And it wasn't just because of the Roxas-name-calling—though that was big part of it—but she had made fun of him for the drink he had ordered, going so far as to call him a 'pansy-ass faggot'.

For the record, Roxas was the only one allowed to call him that. Don't ask why, that was just the way things were. Axel ridicules him for his lack of height and Roxas emasculated him.

Axel didn't even understand what the big deal was, he had ordered the same thing he got the first time he went to Pluto's with Roxas and the thing he'd gotten every time since, only switching from iced to regular once the temperature turn bitter outside. Granted, Roxas always looked at him kind of funny when he got it, but he had never commented on it. Seriously, what was the world's problem with Vanilla Iced-lattes? They were fucking amazing, why should he deny himself of such delicacies just because he wasn't a woman.

Goddamn, gender equality worked both ways. If women had the right to vote then he damn sure should have the right to order a Vanilla Iced-Latte without being criticized for it.

Honestly, what was the world coming to?

And so, due to Larxene the cantankerous whore who liked to stab fun with a spoon and glare at them every so often, just daring them to be even the slightest bit disruptive and give her a reason to use the sharp knives that sat nearby, they were stuck sitting around doing abso-fucking-lutely nothing.

Zexion, of course, was fine with this and sat quietly reading his book as he sipped his coffee. Which, by the way, he had ordered black, much to Axel's confusion since he proceeded to dump cream and a helluva lot of sugar into it after receiving it. Demyx and Axel, on the other hand, were on the verge of death by blonde-bitch-induced-boredom with nothing to do. Making up conversations of surrounding patrons could only be entertaining for so long and eventually Demyx had took to playing games on his cellphone. That sounded like a fantastic idea, only Axel didn't have any games on his phone because his phone was still a piece of shit.

And to make things worse, half way through the hour Roxas had dropped by during his five minute break to explain that someone from his hometown was coming down to Hollow Bastion to hang out for a few days and would be arriving tonight, meeting Roxas at the coffee shop. This only proved to put Axel in a worse mood because a) that meant he had to put up with some annoying friend or relative of the blonde's instead of just hanging around his dorm with friends (and having Roxas all to himself for the most part but he wasn't delving into that, at the moment), and b) they would have to hang around Pluto's even longer, assuming whoever it was didn't arrive when Roxas' shift ended.

Zexion already knew this, apparently, as he just muttered a brief 'I'm aware' as he flipped a page in his book, and it had just been Axel that the blonde had forgotten to mention this to. The redhead assumed he wouldn't bother telling Demyx because, in all honesty, most things went in one ear and out the other.

Axel groaned, taking a sip from his third latte of the night just as his phone ticked to ten-fifteen. Roxas had gotten off around ten minutes ago and was now standing at the door, giddily shifting from foot to foot. He watched the blonde suspiciously; he had never seen him look so…nervous. Every few moments he would glance at the clock on the wall—complete with dog ears attached to each side and some opaque goop that was what he assumed to be faux-slobber along the bottom—then back outside to the dark parking lot anxiously, as if he was half expecting a giant piano to fall out of the sky.

"Hey, Zex," Axel said as he leaned across the table to grab the slate-haired man's attention. Zexion merely hummed his acknowledgment as he scanned the withered pages of his book, Demyx cursing at his phone from beside him.

"Who's coming down to visit Roxas, anyway?" the redhead asked, fiddling with his straw.

Zexion arched a brow, lifting his gaze to look at Axel from across the table. "You don't know?"

"Well, duh," he said overexasperatedly. "I wouldn't be asking if I knew.

The other man merely blinked before returning to his book, finishing yet another page and flipping to the next. Axel furrowed his brow, glaring at him.

"_Well_?"

"'Well' _what_?" Zexion snapped. Axel had learned after a few months that Zexion got rather touchy when it came to his books and the time in which he had to read them. Fun thing was…Axel really didn't care at the moment.

"Who's Rox waiting for?" he inquired, motioning to the blonde by the door who seemed oblivious to their conversation. Sure, Axel could've just gotten up and asked Roxas himself, but he was too lazy to get off his ass and there was a high probability that Larxene would shank him if he dared to shout across the coffee shop.

Zexion rolled his eyes, sighing because it was just _so_ hard to answer one little question. Jerk. Taking a sip from his coffee, he finally deemed it alright to answer Axel.

"His boyfriend,"

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><p><strong>AN;** Now I know so many of you are going "NOZ, YOU CANTANKEROUS WHORE WHAT THE FUCK?"  
>And all I have to say is: DERP :'D<br>Don't worry, though, guys. This IS AkuRoku, there's just a little something called plot that stands in the way.  
><strong>But review if you please! Each review is hugged, loved, and given a name. If you do review, tell me who you think Roxas' boyfriend is, I wanna know what you guys think, you might even get something special –eyebrow wiggle-<strong>


	8. The sunset still looks fake to me

**Disclaimer:** This should just be renamed as 'Noz doesn't own shit, let's make her feel worse about herself'. Kingdom Hearts belongs to squenix, Cowboy vs. Aliens belongs to whoever is stupid enough to create that movie.

**A/N;** First of all **OHMYGOD GUYS THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER!** Maybe it makes me a total dork for getting excited over 15 reviews, but whatever, I don't care. That's a lot to me. Second, yes this is a day early. This is thanks partly due to the fact that I have two other fics I want to start working on, both mostly because it's **Leoshishi-chan's birthday tomorrow**! **HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU TWEAKTASTICAL EVIL MASTERMIND MUSTACHE!** Third, if any of you are interested in _Kingdom Hearts jewelry, go check out the link at the bottom of my profile if you'd like._  
>And, um, no one guessed who Roxas' boyfriend is. XD I liked the effort though! My favorite guesses were<strong> littleanemonefish's<strong> and **YourFavorite's.  
><strong>Read on!

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><p><strong>Chapter 8:<strong> The sunset still looks fake to me

Roxas glanced over at the corner table where his friends sat just as Axel spit a mouthful of vanilla latte (He still didn't understand the redhead's obsession) all over the table as well as on Zexion and Demyx who were unfortunate enough to be sitting across from him. He shot the group a dirty look before remembering that he was now off duty and whether or not the tables were dirty wasn't his god damned problem anymore—though he did feel kind of bad for Tidus, who would undoubtedly be stuck cleaning up the mess because Larxene sure as hell wouldn't. And maybe he should pity the two men who now had to deal with Axel-saliva/latte hybrid, but he really couldn't find it in himself to find too much sympathy.

It was kind of funny, actually.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he checked the time for umpteenth time before opening his contacts and tapping the first number listed under favorites. Opening a new text, he quickly typed out, _'Where are you?' _making sure to keep all proper punctuation and spelling. Really, how hard was it to put in a few extra letters in order to make something decipherable? He didn't know how many times he had had to spend ten plus minutes trying to figure just what the hell Hayner was saying in his onslaught of texts back in high school.

A moment later his phone buzzed with a text_, 'I'm almost there, hold onto your panties'_ displaying across the screen. Roxas smiled as he shot back a quick '_Don't text and drive'_, laughing a few minutes later when there was no response.

On the other end of the café, however, things weren't so merry.

Axel coughed violently in an attempt to dislodge the liquid that had gone down the wrong pipe and effectively choked him. Zexion, sitting directly across from the redhead, glared down at the table that was now covered in a light brown liquid along with his book whose pages were already starting to wrinkle thanks to the moisture and Demyx squawked at his latte-assaulted phone.

"What the hell man?" the blonde cried, staring down at his screen where 'GAME OVER' taunted him mercilessly. He'd finally gotten to level 27, too!

"His _boyfriend_?" Axel spat incredulously, disregarding the obvious disgust Zexion was currently sporting.

"Yes, his boyfriend," the slate-haired man growled as he snatched the offered napkins from Demyx, mopping up the mess before him.

"What the hell do you _mean_ his boyfriend?"

Zexion cocked a brow, pausing as he began cleaning up Demyx's phone. "His boyfriend, as in the man he dates. Don't tell me you have a problem with homosexuality, from what I've gathered you've spent quite a bit of time with Riku and Sora, and Demyx himself is questionable,"

"Oi!" The blonde squawked, glaring at the slate-haired man. "What's that supposed to mean? I like boobs!"

"On men," Zexion muttered dryly.

"Um, ew, no," Demyx said, wrinkling his nose. "I prefer my men without boobs, thanks,"

"My point proven,"

"Wait! That's not what I meant!"

"Of course I don't have a problem with gays—Demyx is my best friend," Axel stated as if that solved everything. In a way it did.

"Okay, why the hell does everyone assume I'm gay?" the blonde pouted. "There is such thing as bisexuality, you know,"

"Dem, when's the last time you went on so much as a date with a girl?" asked Axel flatly. Demyx furrowed his brow, thinking hard.

"Um...Well—"

"Exactly, so shut up," he demanded before turning back to Zexion who was busy inspecting the ruined pages of his book with disgust. "Are you sure it's his boyfriend?"

"No, it's his imaginary lesbian cousin," the slate-haired man said, cocking a brow a moment later. "Why are you so hung up over it, anyway?"

"I'm not, Roxas just never mentioned any boyfriend, is all," Axel grumbled, stirring what was left of his latte idly. And it was true, never once had the blonde even let slip the slightest hint that he was in any sort of relationship. If this guy, his supposed 'boyfriend', was so special why hadn't Roxas said anything about him before? Axel bet he was just some ugly fuck that the blonde was going out with out of pity and didn't have the heart to break up with.

Yeah, that was totally it. Little did his fugly boyfriend know, Axel was going to swoop in and save the day the moment the guy stepped into the coffee shop and rescue Roxas from some disgusting, slobbery kiss. After that, of course, Roxas would be overcome with relief and throw himself at Axel, realizing that he was his savior, and they would run off into sunset and make babies.

Because that's what friends did.

Across the table, Zexion shrugged. "He's not one to flaunt his relationships,"

"Okay…" the redhead drawled skeptically. "But I've known him for, like, four months and I haven't heard of this guy once,"

"Well, that's not my problem," Zexion said as he attempted to turn a page of his book, only to have it rip. He glared. "Maybe he's mentioned it before and you just weren't paying attention,"

Axel paused for a moment, mulling it over. Was it possible that Roxas could've said something about a boyfriend and he simply hadn't heard it? …No, definitely not. Axel would've undoubtedly heard if Roxas mentioned a boyfriend. Only because he wanted to be there for moral support…or something equally sappy.

"What's the big deal anyway, Ax? He has a boyfriend, whoop-dee-do," said Demyx, back to playing videogames on his, now dried, phone.

"It's not a big deal," the redhead muttered bitterly. "I was just curious,"

Demyx shot him a 'You-are-_such_-a-bad-liar, have-I-taught-you-nothing?' look followed quickly by a 'We-are-_so_-talking-about-this-later' when Axel started sipping on his straw—looking like every bit of the fairy Demyx knew him to be—and made it a point to avoid his gaze.

Zexion didn't seem to be buying it either but, unlike Demyx, he was perfectly fine not giving a shit. "Uh-huh,"

Axel opened his mouth to ask just what _that_ tone was supposed to mean but was stopped by the jiggling of the door above the entrance to the coffee shop, signaling the arrival of a new patron. The redhead glanced over to the door and, put simply, he wanted to punch something. Or someone. Preferably the tall blonde who had just wrapped his arms around Roxas and wasted no time in crushing his lips against the shorter man's.

It wasn't like the way the new blonde's hands were slowly inching down Roxas' back irritated him or anything, he was merely concerned for their well-being. For all they knew there could be some homophobic bastard sitting in the other corner, waiting to attack. Hell, he could be sneaking up on them at any moment with a knife. Speaking of knives, just where the hell was Larxene? Shouldn't she be trying to break up this little kiss-fest, something about PDA being bad for business?

And the only reason he was glaring as Roxas pulled away from the other man, laughing lightly and keeping their close proximity as he smiled up at him, was because he had something in his eye, and it was a proven fact that glaring got rid of things like eyelashes and all that shit. Go look it up.

The taller blonde said something as he smiled smugly down at Roxas, lifting a hand to comb through his golden spikes and tilt his head back as he did so. Roxas merely leaned into his touch, bringing himself up on the balls of his feet slightly in order to give the man a quick kiss before pulling away swiftly.

Axel would've been pleased if not for the fact that Roxas had grabbed hold of his 'boyfriend's'—Axel was not completely convinced that this was not just some type of clever rouse—hand and was dragging him over to their table.

Perhaps to on-lookers it would seem that Axel was checking out the man who now stood before him, nearly super-glued to Roxas' side. The redhead could assure them: he was not. What he was doing, put simply, was pointing out each and every feature of the other man that made him look like more and more of a douchebag.

From his black beanie, pale blonde hair, square-jaw, and the long scar that split sliced across his nose, in-between his brows, and disappeared under his hat, to the tight (way too fucking tight) navy blue t-shirt, marked with a large white cross in the middle, and baggy black pants that tapered at his ankle as they disappeared into a pair of folded over black combat boots, complete with mismatched laces. Each and every bit of him screamed Doucher McDouchebag.

"You already know Zexion," Roxas said to McDouchebag as he motioned to the slate-haired man who had given up on his book some time ago. Zexion spared him only a glance before turning back to his coffee. Axel sent him a telepathic high-five.

"And then there's Demyx and Axel, they both go to HBU," Roxas continued, pointing to each of them respectively. "Guys, this is Seifer,"

McDouchebag (Seifer, what the hell kind of name was that) nodded and gave a casual "'Sup". Axel would've dwelled on the fact that he couldn't have given a more douchebag-y response if he hadn't been relishing in the fact that Roxas hadn't introduced the man as his boyfriend. Not that it was a big deal or anything, but Axel couldn't help but be a little bit hurt at Roxas not having told him about his supposed boyfriend, if it was true, that is.

"So," Demyx started as he turned in his seat slightly to face the couple properly, casting a sly look at Axel as he did so. Why the fuck did he keep looking at him like that? "You're Rox's boy toy?"

Seifer merely laughed as Roxas coughed and began to splutter incoherently, wrapping his arms around the shorter blonde's waist. "Yeah, you could say that,"

"Aw, he's blushing!" Demyx cooed as if he was remarking on some puppy in a display window licking it's asshole or something equally disgusting that people found cute. "I didn't know Roxas had it in him to be cute,"

"Oh, he can be very cute," Seifer said, a smirk gracing his features as Roxas scowled, though his cheeks were steadily turning bright pink. Okay so they _were_ dating, but they couldn't be serious or anything, and that was why Roxas hadn't mentioned him. Yeah, that was it.

"How long have you two been dating?" Demyx asked.

Roxas bit his lip, something Axel had noticed he did only when nervous or thinking hard about something, glancing back at Seifer who merely shrugged. "Like seven, eight months?" Roxas said.

Eight months? Eight fucking months?_ It's probably just a casual relationship_, Axel reasoned. That made total sense—they were probably just friends. Really…touchy-feely friends. They merely told people they were dating so they wouldn't have to explain.

Okay, that was a lot of utter bullshit, even Axel had to admit. And if it wasn't, it was straight out of the newest MTV show, geared on dragging teenagers further and further into the world of drugs, sex, and alcohol whilst their commercials rebutted the very same things.

Axel's admittedly bitter mood was not improved in the least by Demyx who was squealing like a pre-teen girl across the table.

"You guys don't mind me stealing Roxas away for the night, right?" Seifer inquired with a raised eyebrow. Axel had a feeling that he would whisk the blonde off regardless and was merely trying to get in good favor by asking. And, quite frankly, he did mind.

"Um, actually, we were all gonna go back to the dorms and watch some movies," Roxas said, furrowing his brow. "You can come, too, of course,"

"Come _on_, Rox, this is the first time we've seen each other in months," the taller blonde complained, though it sounded more like berating than anything. "You can watch movies anytime,"

"Go on, Roxas, we can chill another time!" said Demyx exuberantly. Axel was going to punch him in the face. He glanced at Zexion, who seemed conveniently disinterested in the conversation at hand.

Roxas sighed, rolling his eyes as his boyfriend murmured something in his ear. "You're such a baby," he grumbled, eliciting an annoyed look from the taller blonde. Turning back to the group, Roxas smiled apologetically, Seifer already beginning to tug him toward the entrance, "Sorry, guys, I'll definitely make it up to you, alright?"

"Oh, don't worry about it!" Demy said, sounding every bit like the mother of a teenage girl who was finally going on a date with the nice boy down the street, just as she was beginning to suspect that her daughter was a lesbian. "You guys have fun! Use protection!"

Yeah, Axel was definitely going to punch him.

-.-.-

For the record, Axel Strey was not sulking. Streys did not sulk. They simply sat around their room and imposed on other areas of their shared dorm for a week, sighing loudly and doing nothing productive save for memorizing the weekday schedule of adult swim and watching copious amounts of True Life and Made. For the record, whoever created half of the shows on MTV deserved to be shot…repeatedly.

It wasn't like he had stayed in his apartment the entire week. On occasion, he went down to the convenient store and loaded up on twinkies, M&M pretzels, and (Though he would never admit it) Nutella. There was his job, which kept him busy most of the time. He wasn't going to be heading back home until a few days before Christmas, so he opted for getting more hours at the book shop in order to fill the time until then—he could use the money to buy some decent presents. Demyx's dorm was also an option for when he was feeling particularly bored, and he would drop by every once in a while…for hours on end.

Normally, he would fill his hours of boredom with Roxas. But, thanks to a certain jackass-of-a-boyfriend that had shown up out of abso-fucking-lutely nowhere, the blonde had been preoccupied for the past week and, as a result, Axel had seen him for a total of thirty minutes, and that was merely because the redhead had stopped by the coffee shop before and after work.

He wasn't bitter, nor was he jealous, he was merely…hurt. He had considered him and Roxas to be friends after all, pretty damn good friends, in fact, but the blonde had never once mentioned a boyfriend. That was all it was, the faint paint in his chest had nothing to do with it. It was probably those frozen barbeque wings he had found in the back of the freezer that was causing that. He'd always been rather wary of Tyson, and it probably didn't help that it was a couple weeks after the expiration date printed on the bag.

Axel flipped the channel yet again, shifting to find a comfortable position on the couch as the front door slammed open.

"Are you ready to—Ax, what the fuck are you doing?" Demyx said, halting as soon as he saw Axel lazing on the couch in his 'I'm-lazing-around-my-G.D.-house-and-clearly-I-do-not-give-a-rat's-ass-what-you-think' clothes, which consisted of a pair of baggy grey sweatpants and a sweatshirt that had been black before Demyx borrowed it back in junior year. Apparently you weren't supposed to use bleach on colors, who knew.

"Clearly, I am eating popcorn and trying to watch Scrubs," the redhead grumbled around a mouth-full of kettle corn. He tried to lean to the side and see around Demyx who had planted himself in the dead center of the living room, right in front of the TV. "But your fat ass in the way,"

Demyx scoffed, placing a hand over his chest in mock offense. "Okay, first of all, my ass is not fat," he said pointedly, grabbing his own backside. "This is obviously pure steel. And second, you are supposed to be dressed and ready to go!"

Axel raised an eyebrow as he cast a blank look, causing his long-time best friend to sigh exasperatedly. "The movies, remember?"

Axel narrowed his eyes, pursing his lips quizzically.

"The movie!" Demyx shouted as he threw his arms in the air. "You know, the one the aliens or whatever? We made plans for this last week!"

"Oh,"

"No, not 'oh'," Demyx growled. "Not unless it's followed by 'I'm so sorry, Demy, how can I _ever_ make it up to you? Oh, I know, by hauling my scrawny ass into my room to go put on some decent clothes so we can go get good seats!'"

"But Dem_yx_," Axel whined as he flopped over on the couch and buried his face in a pillow. "I don't wanna get up!"

"Uh, too bad. I don't care," Demyx wasted no time in marching over to the couch and shoving the redhead off the worn couch. He then proceeded to snatch him up by the hood of his sweatshirt and drag him to his bedroom, pushing him toward the bed as he began rummaging through the redhead's closet.

"I am not going to miss the previews because of you," the blonde continued to rant as he pulled out a gamboge-colored t-shirt, sniffing it to make sure it was clean before throwing it at Axel.

"Who cares about the previews?" he grumbled as he tugged off his sweatshirt and examined the shirt that had been tossed his way; he could've sworn he'd left this one at home.

"_I_ care about the previews!" Demyx squawked just as Axel was nailed in the face by a pair of acid-washed jeans. "They're obviously the best part of the movie! If I didn't want to see the previews I would just get Marly to get me a bootleg copy or something,"

Axel stared at him blankly. "So you pay ten dollars to see _previews_?"

"Don't question me, boy!" Demyx said, snapping and motioning for Axel to hurry and get dressed. "Hurry up before we're late, Zexion and Roxas are already heading over there!"

"Roxas is actually going?" the redhead asked as he hopped into his jeans, surprised that the blonde wasn't too preoccupied with his boyfriend. Demyx rolled his eyes at the obvious eagerness in his friend's voice.

"Yes, your pretty little blonde boy is going,"

"_The hell?"_

Demyx merely grinned as he made his way out into the hallway, Axel following close behind and grumbling under his breath all the while. "Come on, ponyboy, let's get a move on,"

The walk to the theater was short, the somewhat run down building being only a few blocks from campus. With all the revenue the place raked in from the countless amounts of college students that poured in for a bit of stress-relief via the latest blockbuster, it was a wonder why the owner didn't bother investing a little bit of that money into fixing the place up. Make it more aesthetically pleasing or some shit like that.

Similar to the way Pluto's looked to be rundown from the outside, but was a completely different atmosphere once stepping inside, the theater was much the same. It's formal name was generic, _The Theater_ written in bold, curvy neon lights across the front of the building, like the type you expected to see in Vegas or pointing to some crummy two-star motel. The structure of the theater did resemble a crummy two-star hotel to an extent, but leaned more toward the shady side, as if at some point in time it had been an abandoned warehouse in which drug deals and human trafficking took place.

With their current owner, that really wouldn't surprise Axel too much.

Xigbar, despite the grey streaks that ran through his otherwise jet black ponytail, was in his mid-thirties and was known to do a metric shit ton of nothing. He was often seen lazing around his office or harassing the people who worked ticket counter when he was actually in the building, something that occurred infrequently. Most of the time, he was away from his business, wondering about town and making nice (so he called it) with the college kids who had become used to his presence over the years. Due to the fact that he, apparently, was long-time friends with some of the professors at the university, he ended up on campus a lot, as well.

It was on campus that Axel had had his first encounter with the man, during the last days of October. He had shown up in his environmental sciences class, claiming he was the substitute for Professor Vexen who was out sick, and proceeded to give an hour long lecture about Pot vs. Shrooms, cut short only by Professor Vexen himself who had stormed in and started flipping a shit about insubordination and Xigbar tying him up and throwing him in a closet. Axel would admit he had learned more in that class than he had all semester.

They arrived at the theater but ten minutes later, welcoming the warm gush of air that assaulted them as they stepped into the building. Almost immediately Demyx was bounding over to Zexion, who stood near the ticket counter alone, Axel on his heels.

"You weren't waiting too long, were you?" Demyx asked as he began fishing through his pockets for his I.D. that would claim the tickets he had ordered online. Honestly, Axel didn't want to see a damn movie about cowboys fighting aliens—It didn't make any fucking sense. The only reason he said he would go in the first place was because Roxas had been just as reluctant when Demyx brought it up last Monday, and had agreed to make fun of it alongside Axel for the entire two hours, occasionally throwing popcorn at the old lady a few rows ahead who would undoubtedly shoot them dirty looks because she was old, fat, and wasn't getting any.

"I was," the slate-haired man said, straightening up from his leaning position against the counter. Demyx furrowed his brow, muttering a quiet 'oh' as he sported a pout.

Axel didn't much care how long he'd been waiting, he was more interested in the lack of a certain blonde. "Where's Roxas?"

Zexion gave him a pointed look before rolling his eyes and following Demyx to the first ticket window. "Bathroom,"

As if on cue, Roxas materialized at his side, bumping his hip against Axel's (well, it was more of Axel's thigh thanks to the height difference) lightly and smiling at him when the redhead glanced over. Axel smirked, lifting a brow lazily. "You're in a good mood,"

The blonde shrugged as he rolled his eyes, "I'm not allowed to be in a good mood?"

"Nope," he chirped happily, grinning.

"Aren't you the one always griping about me being all 'doom and gloom'?"

Axel cocked a brow, his grown widening. "Did you just use air quotes?"

"No," the blonde spat, dropping his hands to his sides immediately. He vaguely remembered a conversation they had a couple weeks ago about the stupidity that was air quotes and how much more of a twat it made one seem.

And, contrary to Larxene's belief, Roxas was no twat.

"Oi, Rox!"

Roxas glanced over his shoulder, smiling slightly when he spotted his boyfriend amidst the crowd, walking toward him. "You're late," he reprimanded playfully, though he couldn't help but feel the slightest bit irked. Seifer always found a way to monopolize his time, but in the few instances Roxas asked something of him, say to spend a few hours at a movie with his friends, he found a way to mess things up—ranging anywhere from plainly not showing up and giving some shit excuse later, to being twenty minutes late, like he currently was,

Granted, Axel had been late, as well, but he wasn't Roxas' boyfriend.

Besides, Axel was Axel.

"Yeah, well, I had stuff to get done," Seifer retorted nonchalantly as he tossed an arm around Roxas.

"What kind of stu—Hold on a sec," Roxas said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his vibrating phone, missing the look Seifer shot Axel as he pulled the blonde close and the dirty glare Axel gave him in return. Roxas unlocked his phone and quickly scrolled through his messages, not bothering to read any of the nonsensical spam Sora had undoubtedly pocket-texted to him earlier in the day. He reached the very bottom, only to find that it was more jumbled letters that his twin had sent him rather than something important or life-threatening. Roxas would've blocked him if not for the constant paranoia that Sora would fall down a flight of stairs or something, rendering him incapacitated and unable to do anything, with only the energy left to call one single person. That person would be Roxas, but he would be unable to get through to his brother and would slowly fall unconscious, never to wake up again.

Yeah, Roxas thought about these things.

"Let's go guys, we gotta get a good seat," Demyx all but shouted as he ran back over. He came to a sudden halt as his gaze landed upon Seifer, "Oh, hey man, I didn't know you were coming," he glanced down at the four tickets in hand. "I woulda gotten another ticket,"

"Don't worry, Dem, I already got it," Roxas said, pulling out a slip of paper from his back pocket and handing it to the man at his side. Demyx brightened at this, leading what would've been a stampede into their designated show room if anyone else in the small group had been even the slightest bit as enthusiastic or was not preoccupied brooding and glaring daggers at a certain blonde's boyfriend.

Zexion sighed, dragging Demyx to the left wing of the building as the hyperactive man started running off in the wrong direction. Behind them, Roxas talked about something quietly with Seifer, who merely nodded his acknowledgement every few minutes but spent most of his time glancing around at his surroundings in a bored fashion. At the tail end of the group trailed Axel with a bitter disposition.

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><p><strong>AN:** Personally, I think this chapter was rather mundane, but this chapter is necessary to move things along. Anyways, drop me a line and tell me what you guys think is in store in the future/what you want to see, or just what you think of the chapter! Critisism is always welcome.  
>And if anyone thinks Seifer is OOC, yeah, he probably is a bit, but I'm also basing his personality off of his FF persona, as well, though it isn't that different from the KH one. Seifer does have a caring side, just so everyone knows, both in KH and FF.<p>

In other news, I just learned that I may be moving to Switzerland for the next three years!

**Anonymous Review Replies:  
>Rocket-ship-romance: <strong>Close but no cigar for your guess! I'm glad you liked Sora freaking out XD And happy dying is the best kind of dying!  
><strong>Nura: <strong>Those two never even crossed my mind!:O Sephiroth certainly would've been a fun (in a totally maniacal way) choice, though! Thanks so much(:  
><strong>MooMoo:<strong> Close! To be honest I contemplated using him, but then decided against it for some reason...Seifer is much more fun of a choice.  
><strong>YourFavorite: <strong>LAWLZ! Clever clever xD Yeah, nutella is equivalent to sex...I don't even. It's just too good. To be honest, I thought about Marly for a bit..but then I came to my senses XD I LOVE YOU TOO, BRO.  
><strong>Destry: <strong>Thanks for your review(s)! XD Here is the next chapter, pushed out and ready to go...as you have read! Unfortunately, it's not all too funnny, but eh, it's a transitional chapter. The next will be better! THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING IN ME :majorhearts:


	9. That boy's got woe

**Disclaimer:**

**A/N: **This is where I write a bunch of irrelevant crap. Instead, I want to thank all my reviews! You guys are so sweet, I tried to reply to every one of my reviews. And thank you to my beta, Axels-saint, who taught me how merpeople have sex and beta'd this for me! C: (Go check out her new fic, Paint me the Sky, guys. Seriously.)  
><strong>Note:<strong> In case you guys haven't been paying attention to the smaller details, Seifer is visiting for a total of about thirteen days (as of this chapter). Only mentioning this so people don't think they went to the movies, and Seifer left the next day (will make sense once you start reading). This is actually of zero to no importance, but I figured I'd tell you guys XD

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><p><strong>Chapter 9:<strong> That boy's got woe

"Just like I said it would, that movie sucked," Axel said as he entered the dorm room, Demyx and Zexion trailing behind him, the blonde having announced that he was spending the night.

"Um, _what_ movie?" Demyx said, narrowing his eyes. Zexion glared up at him as he stopped in the doorway, shoving the man forward a moment later to gain entrance. The music major shot him a small pout before turning back to Axel with a scowl, stabbing a finger in his general direction. "You were too busy sulking the entire time to even watch the damn movie! I couldn't even concentrate on it!"

"I was not sulking!" the redhead squawked. And he hadn't been—he simply felt the need to huff and puff exaggeratedly every few minutes whilst slouching in his chair with his arms crossed haughtily. Clearly not sulking. And maybe he had tripped Seifer as they walked into their assigned theater, but it was all in good nature! It was funny…Roxas had laughed. "Besides, I thought you only wanted to see the _previews_."

Demyx swore and smacked him upside the head.

"If anyone was prevented from watching the movie, it was me," Zexion mumbled as he pulled off his scarf, stepping around a cursing Axel and fixing Demyx with a pointed stare. "You were talking the entire time."

"You can't tell me you actually wanted to see that dumb movie, Zex," Axel said, rolling his eyes seconds later at Demyx's interjection.

"It is _not_ dumb!"

"It was an interesting concept," Zexion sniffed indignantly before making his way down the hallway to his room with a brief 'goodnight'.

Axel should've run for the hills when he saw Demyx leering at him. He should have fucking run. If any of his nineteen years with the mulleted-man had taught him something, it was that when Demyx got that stupid look on his face, Axel was going to be dragged into some type of deep shit. And this was the only the beginning. Sooner or later Demyx would be smiling like the fucktard Axel knew him to be, eyes crinkling at the corners and before Axel knew it, he would be doing a strip tease in the middle of Ikea, only to find out that the security cameras hadn't, in fact, been broken like Demyx claimed them to be.

Whatever, he had gotten a date with some random employee out of it.

This time, however…Demyx was not to be trusted.

"Sooo," the dirty-blonde cooed as he dropped down on the couch beside Axel, who subconsciously scooted away. "You gonna tell me why you've been acting like a prissy little bitch ever since Seifer came around?"

Axel glared.

"What are you talking about?"

"From the moment the guy stepped into Pluto's, you've been treating him like public enemy number one! I don't think you've said a full two sentences to him,"

"I _told_ you to lay off the crack, but do you listen? Noooo. Don't blame me when you wind up on the corner a year from now, playing your guitar for drugs,"

"Okay, first of all, it's called a sitar, get it straight," Demyx lifted a second finger. "And second: Don't change the subject, buttface!"

"Buttface, Dem? Really?" the redhead asked with an amused smirk.

"Yes, really. Do not question the king of party-rock—We've been over this!" the musician exclaimed as he smacked Axel on the arm yet again. Fucking hell, he was going to be decorated by the time the night was done. Demyx may look like a scrawny little drummer boy, but it just so happened that he had grown up with a fucking six-foot-six brother who was not only tall, but buff as all hell to top it off. For those unaware, the laws of the universe clearly state that if one has an older sibling, regardless of size, they must know how to kick ass or be forced to be the older sibling's bitch for the rest of eternity.

The more you know.

Insert fruity rainbow-star thing.

"Obviously, you're a buttface," the blonde said matter-o-factly, wagging a finger in Axel's face. Axel considered biting it. "Look at it—Clearly, you look like a butt,"

"Clearly, I am sexy as all fuck," the redhead scoffed, flipping his wrist flamboyantly.

"If you were, then maybe Roxas would be all over you instead of Seifer," Demyx said, suppressing a devilish grin.

Axel may or may not have choked on his own spit.

"Um, _what_?"

"Oh, come on, Ax, don't play dumb," the blonde chided as he flopped over across his friend's knees, peering up at him with a mischievous spark in his eyes.

"I'm not playing anything,"

"So you really are dumb then?" he asked innocently. Axel paused for but a second before jerking his knee violently, causing Demyx's head to make a rough bounce against his lap.

"Ass," he whined.

"Stop projecting your delusional fantasies on me and we won't have a problem,"

"Sorry, but none of my fantasies involve Roxas," snorted Demyx. "He's free for all of your wet-dreams, don't worry,"

"_The hell_, Demyx?"

"Axel, I've known you since we were…I don't know, really young. There's no point trying to hide things from me,"

The redhead sighed, running a frustrated hand through his spikes. He knew he shouldn't have let Demyx drink all that pop at the theater on top of multiple bags of Twizzlers. Fucking sugar. "For the last time Demyx: I. Do not know. What you are talking about,"

"Bro, I know you like Roxas!"

Axel blinked. And blinked again. Then simultaneously felt the urge to laugh and punch Demyx at the same time for coming up with such a ridiculous idea. Roxas was cool and all but…Just no. No.

"Demyx," he began, talking slowly as if speaking to a child—And really, Demyx was pretty much the same thing, if not worse. "Remember back at the beginning of senior year when you introduced me to your cousin?"

The blonde across his lap furrowed his brow, not quite understanding what that had to do with anything. "Um, yeah?"

"Alright, now, remember how I had to stay at your house for that weekend a month later and he was there too?"

"Yeaaah,"

"So then you must remember how he molested every god damn day," the redhead bit out, narrowing his eyes when Demyx started laughing. It was no laughing matter, dammit! He had been traumatized—Marluxia was a fucking creep! Well, he was cool now, but he certainly hadn't been a year earlier when he had caught the pink-haired man slipping into his makeshift bed (the pull-out couch in Demyx's living room) next to him every-single-fucking-night.

"Dude, that was so funny!" the blonde snorted. Axel flicked him in the forehead.

"Shut up, bitch-fuck, no it wasn't!" he hissed, clearing his throat a moment later. "Anyways, remember how for the next week you were convinced that I _liked_ him?"

Demyx winced at this, "Oh, yeah,"

_'Oh, yeah' my asshole_, Axel thought bitterly.

"I had a reason for that one!" Demyx squawked, trying to save face. "I mean you—"

"Dem, you're reasoning was that I hadn't knocked him out when he grabbed my ass, I only broke his nose, so, _of course_, I must like him,"

"Well, it sounds stupid when you put it like that…" the mulleted-man grumbled, pouting.

Axel rolled his eyes, "It sounds stupid no matter how you put it,"

"Whatever," he mumbled grouchily only to perk up again a moment later. "But you know if you like R—"

"I'm going to punch you in the face,"

"Geez, you don't have to be mean about it! I'm just saying. Seriously, man, you can't be lonely for the rest of your life,"

"Last time I checked, I've never had a problem finding a date," the redhead said as he cocked a brow.

"I know that, but it never really lasts and—"

"Dem, please do not tell me you are trying to play match-maker,"

A long pause, then: "_Noooo._"

Axel cast him a dubious glare.

"You two would look cute together!"

"Okay, it's time for you to get some sleep," Axel said as he climbed to his feet, Demyx falling to the floor in the process. The redhead contemplated stepping on his friend…more like curb-stopping him, but decided against it. Late night violence was stupid violence. He would wait until morning and commit a surprise attack, whoever said they were for cowards was obviously just bitter because they were stupid enough to have been victims of more than one.

Axel grabbed a blanket and pillow from the basket set in the corner of the room (set there solely for nights when Demyx decided to crash at his place) and tossed them to the blonde man who was picking himself off of the floor while simultaneously glaring at his friend.

"Night, Dem," the redhead said as he made his way down the hall toward his bedroom.

"Think about it!" he shouted after him.

"Sleep with one eye open!"

-.-.-

"It's Christmas! It's Christmas! It's CHRISTMAS, Rox!"

Roxas groaned as he turned over onto his stomach and buried his face into one of his numerous pillows in an attempt to block out the annoying noise that was his brother. Would a pillow have the same effect as a bullet or paperweight if he threw if hard enough? Physics had always been his worst subject, simply because he really couldn't muster the fuck that was necessary to care.

Just as he was reaching for a small throw cushion at the edge of the bed, a sudden weight threw itself upon his back, all but crushing his spine and knocking the wind out of him.

"It's Christmas, Roxas! It's Christmas! It's Christmas! It's Christmas!" Sora shouted exuberantly as he bounced up and down, his knees digging painfully into Roxas' lower back. Both of the twins may have been small in stature, but they had also been actively involved in sports throughout high school, putting on a bit of muscle in the process which, of course, weighed far more than fat or normal body tissue.

"S-Sora…" Roxas managed to get out, though it came out as more of an unidentifiable mumble due to the fact that his face was still pushed into a pillow, though it was more so because Sora was forcing him there with the steel grip he had on his shoulders.

"It's Christmas! Why are you still sleeping? IT'S CHRISTMAS, DAMMIT!" the brunet shouted, finally climbing off of his brother…only to force him to turn over and jump atop him again. Fisting the cloth of Roxas' faded sleep shirt, he yanked him up, never minding the way the blonde's head lulled sleepily to the side. "WAKE UP!"

It was when Sora slapped him that Roxas finally perked up, bringing a knee up and violently sending his brother falling backward.

"I'm already awake!" he hollered as he rubbed at his abused cheek. At the end of the bed, Sora pouted for a split second before jumping up once more, contemplating tackling his brother again before thinking better of it. Instead, he opted for grinning madly whilst abusing the bed's mattress with hyperactive bounces.

"It's Christmas!" the brunet chirped as he continued to grin stupidly. Roxas gave him a blank stare, glancing over at the clock, then back at Sora.

It was 6:34 in the fucking morning and, assuming that he hadn't been in a coma for the past five days or so, it was not, in fact, Christmas.

"No, Sora," the blonde grit out, pursing his lips as he contemplated shanking his brother with whatever blunt object he could find. It was totally justified, Sora had slapped him, after all. "It is not Christmas. It is Tuesday, and I am trying to sleep."

"No duh, it's not _really_ Christmas! But it _is_ our Christmas!" Sora shouted, reaching out and jiggling Roxas' foot as if that was supposed to set the light bulb off. Oh yes, magical foot movement and Roxas suddenly had the secrets to the Universe, better known as whatever the hell went on in his brother's head on a daily basis.

"Th'hell are you on about?" The blonde questioned groggily as he sat up. As long as Sora was in the room, he wasn't going to be getting any sleep so might as well get up now and avoid any further injuries.

"Remember…we're all leaving tonight?" he explained, moving his hands in a 'you know' circular motion. "So we're all going to do presents and chill today?"

It took a full two minutes for Roxas to realize what he was talking about, during which Sora's face of excitement slowly turned to a 'You have got to be shitting me—you better not have forgotten' look. "Oh, yeah, that," the blonde deadpanned, feeling the beginnings of a yawn in his throat.

"What do you mean 'oh, yeah, that'? Did you forget?" Sora screeched, leaning forward with narrowed eyes. When it came to Christmas and Sora, you didn't play around.

"No I didn't—_Ahhh_—I didn't forget," Roxas blinked back tears as he threw off his blanket—stupid yawn.

"Then can I have my present?" the brunet asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"No,"

"Aw, why not?"

"We're doing presents at home, So."

"Can I open at least one today?"

"Who's says I got you more than one?" Roxas asked as he rifled through the top drawer of his dresser for a pair of boxers. Maybe throwing all of his underwear in with his t-shirts when he was putting his clothes away the first week he had arrived wasn't the best idea. He had a lot of t-shirts…

When he turned around he was met with the site of a wide-eyed Sora, bottom lip trembling and the essence of the 'kicked-puppy' look etched perfectly across his features. Roxas sighed.

"Kidding, So,"

"Oh, okay, got scared there for a sec," Roxas rolled his eyes as his brother instantly jumped back to his happy-go-lucky self, hopping off the bed. "Hurry up and get ready or we're gonna be late!"

"We don't have to be there until nine, Sora," the blonde pointed out haughtily.

"But you take like an hour to shower."

"And you still sleep in footy-pajamas."

"I don't see what that has to do with anything." Sora said, turning up his nose at his brother.

"Don't dig up dirt on me and I'll do the same for you," stated Roxas simply as he headed over to the closet for a change of clothes. "You wouldn't want Riku finding out about that, now would you?"

Sora shrugged, "Riku already knows,"

Roxas froze, turning around slowly to face his brother with a look of pure horror marring his face. "…Sora, please don't tell me you…you…"

"Well, duh!" Sora laughed. "Of course we have,"

Roxas looked for the nearest waste basket.

"But that's not why he knows, Rox. You don't fuck in your pajamas, you know."

Roxas groaned, _'Dear God, what did I do to piss you off? Was it 'cause I pushed that little girl at the convenience store the other day? I'm sorry, but you know how I am about twinkies, and it was the last fuc—freaking box.' _

Woken up at a quarter to early-as-fuck and now faced with images of Riku and Sora going at it like bunnies that refused to leave his mind? The morning was just shaping up fan-fucking-tastically. If this didn't stop soon, he was seriously going to vomit all over the carpet, and he sure as hell wasn't going to clean it up. Sora would probably just sit there and complain if Roxas had him clean it, so the only option left was Riku. Yes, Riku was perfect, because in the end this was really all his fault in one way or another…everything was always Riku's fault.

Final decision: Riku would be made to clean up the vomit…with his tongue.

Okay, ew.

"He always stayed the night on weekends back in high school, remember? He didn't want to be around his brothers," Ah, yes, Riku's near psychotic brothers, making the silverette's life a living hell one day at a time. Roxas was particularly fond of them. "Come to think of it, Rox, you're lucky we weren't dating back then," Sora said with an impish grin.

"I don't need to hear this," he grumbled, pushing past his brother and out of the room.

"Morning Roxas," Riku called, smirking knowingly to himself as the blonde stomped by on his way to the bathroom. Never in the history of his eighteen years had Sora been known to give a pleasant wakeup call—but Riku didn't know the half of it.

Bitch.

-.-.-

"It's time for presents!" Sora shouted as he literally kicked the door to Axel and Zexion's door open, stomping in like a mad man.

"Sora, I think you broke my front door," Axel said from the adjacent kitchen, only to be blatantly ignored from the brunet who bounded in to the living room whilst shouting about candy-canes and elves and other Christmas-y shit.

"He only knocked a screw lose," Riku noted as he examined the hinges of the door before following his boyfriend.

"Oh, only a screw, no big deal or anything," Axel grumbled to himself with an eye roll. "Maybe it'll be a big deal when the door falls off and crushes me and I die."

"You're such a drama queen," Roxas said as he hopped onto the counter beside the redhead's working space, peering into the bright orange bowl that Axel had been adding sugar to when they walked in. "If it makes you feel any better, I'd at least try to move the door."

"You'd only _try_?" Axel gasped in mock horror, stopping as he reached into the fridge for milk to throw a hand against his forehead dramatically. "I knew you didn't love me!"

Roxas shoved a hand in the bowl, scraping a finger up the side. "Never said I did."

"Jerk," he answered as he smacked the blonde's hand away. Throwing a overzealous pose, he cocked his head to the side, "No one can resist this sexiness."

"You have such a big head."

Axel gaped at him, hand slowly inching up toward his head as if to see if what Roxas said was true. Of course it wasn't! He had the most perfectly proportioned (never mind his skeletal structure and womanly hips, it was all a part of the entrancing effect) body on earth!

"I was talking about your ego," the blonde said with an eye roll, kicking his heels against the cabinet gently. Axel shrugged.

"Well that's only expected, I mean when you're this se—"

"Yes, sexy. We get it: you're sexy."

"Aww, I knew you thought so, Roxy," Axel cooed, grinning cheekily at the blonde. Roxas merely scoffed and forced down a laugh, refusing to encourage him.

"So, where's Seifer?" he asked after a moment. Not like he was complaining or anything, but the absence of the jackass certainly put a hindrance on Axel's plan to give him a laxative-filled cookie. And no, he didn't find that the slightest bit mean. This was his duty as a human, as a resident of this earth! Being Roxas' friend, it was only expected of him to give the blonde's boyfriend the second-degree, and if he chose to do that with laxative cookies, then so be it.

"He left yesterday; flying out to Cali to visit his Dad."

"So you guys aren't spending the holidays together?"

"Unless I can suddenly materialize in Los Angeles, I don't think so."

"What about New Years'? You're supposed to kiss at midnight to ensure a year full of affection and happiness with that person," Yeah, on the inside Axel was totally cheering, and wasn't really doing too good of a job hiding it outwardly, either. Luckily, Roxas was too busy eating cookie batter out of the bowl.

"I don't need to rely on some silly superstition to secure the successfulness of my relationship," the blonde said with a glare, the intimidating nature of which was ruined a moment later as he shoved a batter-covered finger in his mouth.

"It's not a 'silly superstition'," Axel could only hope it wasn't—he wouldn't want Roxas to be doomed for the rest of his life, stuck in a perpetually unsatisfying relationship with some cocky bastard. God, he was such a good friend.

Roxas opened his mouth to respond when the front door was suddenly slammed open once again, revealing a snow covered Demyx and Zexion.

"I got the sprinkles!" the music major shouted excitedly as he bounded into the kitchen and dropped a near over flowing bag onto the counter. Zexion walked over much more calmly, stopping beside Roxas as he rubbed at his temples, frustrated.

"Please, someone shut him up," he groaned with a huff, sending the ends of his slate bangs flying upward. "He hasn't stopped talking since we left."

"Aw, come on, Zexy! Where's your Christmas spirit?" Demyx said, not the slightest bit put out.

"Yeah, _Zexy_, where's your Christmas spirit?" Roxas taunted as he smirked impishly at his friend, to which Zexion glared.

Sora, however, popped up in the kitchen suddenly, saving them all from a quick and bloody demise. "Did someone say sprinkles?"

"Hell yeah I said sprinkles!" Demyx shouted, punching the air excitedly. Snatching up the brunet's wrist, he began dragging him back toward the living room, Zexion trailing behind. "But first: PRESENTS!"

Roxas laughed lightly as he hopped off the counter, waiting for Axel to pop the tray of cookies into the oven and set a timer before they headed into the other room with everyone else. Plopping down on the couch, they separated the gifts into piles for each person and listened to the more than a little complicated explanation of the opening process that Demyx was giving for something as simple as a clockwise rotation.

Sora was up first, plucking a large, oh so lumpy present from his pile. Instantly, he knew who it was from, because though Riku was perfect at a lot of things, his skills with giftwrap were less than satisfactory.

"Aw, Riku, you didn't have to get me anything!" the brunet cooed as he turned around to shoot a smile at his boyfriend whose lap he was currently sitting in. Across the room, Roxas did nothing to hide his snort of disbelief, knowing that Sora's words were a complete and utter load of bullshit. Not that his brother was a materialistic person or anything, but he knew for a fact that the brunet loved presents—especially on Christmas.

One year, their parents had been playing a trick on them and the morning of Christmas had told them that they had sent all of the presents to a local goodwill, saying that the only gift they needed was each other and knowing that they had helped someone less fortunate than them. Now, Sora was a compassionate person and always trying to help out more or less, but when it came to Christmas, you didn't fuck around. Considering he had been ten at the time, the broken bedroom door that had resulted from the brunet slamming it behind him was somewhat understandable. Too bad their parents hadn't seen it that way.

Ripping open the snowman wrapping paper, Sora squealed excitedly and hugged a large moogle stuffed animal to his chest, giggling like a school girl. Behind him, Riku laughed. "I'm glad you like it; I'll give you the rest of your presents when we get back home."

"Like it? I love it!" he corrected, giving the silver-haired man a quick kiss.

"Yeah, yeah, we get it, it's so cute, you two are going to screw later, moving on!" Demyx said, flailing his arms uselessly. "Riku, open a present!"

Rolling his eyes, Riku leaned forward and picked the smallest present from his bunch and opened it to reveal an itunes gift card from the terribly creative Zexion.

The rest of the gift-giving went smoothly, continuing until each person had exhausted their pile of presents. After that was done, the group had spent hours decorating the mass of cookies Axel had been making, more or less destroying the kitchen as a whole, and ate said cookies whilst watching a running marathon of Christmas movies on ABC for the rest of the day. Both Roxas and Sora had collectively freaked out on Axel upon learning that he had never seen Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, and had refused to let him get up from the couch until the movie was over, even during the commercial. Axel had ran like hell to the bathroom after that, his bladder about to explode.

"Fucking hell, I am not looking forward to sitting in a car with them for the next three hours," Roxas grumbled bitterly as he shoved his shoes on, glaring at the couple just outside the dorm who were busy sucking face. The urge to bash his head against the nearest solid object was overwhelming.

Leaning against the door frame, Axel raised a brow lazily, "Your car finally break down?"

"No, but knowing my luck it'll spontaneously combust half way there," he grumbled as he grabbed the scarf Axel had gotten him from the couch, his purple hoodie from the redhead already tucked safely into a bag near the front door. After a good five minutes of fumbling around with the striped fabric, Axel took over and began tying the scarf neatly around his neck. "So, I'm stuck with Riku and his stupid car."

Finishing off with a large bow (much to the blonde's chagrin), Axel ruffled his hair lightly, ushering him toward the door. "Well hurry up so you guys aren't on the road too late—I don't want you guys crashing into a tree because you didn't see a cow in the middle of the road."

Roxas gave him an amused look before grabbing his bag and starting out the door, only to be stopped by a loud shout from Demyx.

"Well look what we have here!" the mulleted-man drawled in a southern accent, devilish grin in place. From the couch, Zexion glared at him, the reading of his novel-a gift from Sora (which wasn't as stupid as the title would suggest)-being made quite difficult by the man's noise level.

"What's wrong?" Roxas asked, confused. Demyx's grin only widened as he slowly lifted a finger to point somewhere above the pair standing at the doorway. Said pair slowly looked up to find a green and red and oh so merry mistle toe hanging innocently above them. Roxas laughed.

Axel, however, was not taking it as lightly, glaring at Demyx and pointedly ignoring the slight jump in his chest upon seeing the seasonal plant. "Demyx…" he growled.

"What a co-winky-dink," the dirty-blonde cooed, rocking on the balls of his feet. He shrugged, making a mockery of innocence, "Guess you guys are gonna have to kiss—can't break the tradition."

"Demyx…I'm going to kill you," the redhead grit out, eyes narrowed and fists clenched, perfectly ready to chew his friend out. For the past six days, the man had been going on about how Axel 'secretly had the hots' for Roxas, how it was totally obvious, and how they would make 'such a cute couple, like OMG'. Needless to say, Axel had considered punching him more than a few times...and had acted on such impulses multiple times, as well.

Roxas laughed, glancing up at Axel. "What? Don't tell me the flamer is afraid of a little kiss," he joked with a jovial smile.

Axel lifted a brow, more than a little stunned and just hoping it didn't show on his face. And for the record, Axel did not blush, it was merely a bit hot in the room. "O…Of course not."

"Really now?" the blonde said with an amused smirk. Before Axel could say anything else, Roxas lifted himself slightly on his toes and pressed a gentle kiss to the redhead's cheek, pulling back with a warm smile.

"Merry Christmas, Axel."

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><p><strong>AN:** I thought I'd never finish this chapter ; A ; That last scene….THAT LAST FREAKIN SCENE REFUSED TO BE WRITEN. Fucking hell, I'm glad it's done. In other news, I am super excited for future chapters. You guys don't even know.

It's after midnight here, so this is my AkuRoku day gift to you guys! HAPPY AKUROKU DAY MY LOVELIES :majorhearts:

**So review and tell me what you think guys! And thanks a bunch to people who read/favorite/alerted/reviewed my new fic! **

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><p>Anonymous replies:<p>

**Destry: **I love you so hard for reviewing each chapter though XD Oh god…Roxas and Luxord, that is just scary to think about XDD But oh my gosh, thank you so much, you're too sweet ; A ;

**YourFavorite: ** Isn't he? XD Jealous!Axel is probably one of my favorite things to write, it's just so much fun. Hahaha, it makes sense. And I'm sorry I deprived you of sleep XD ROFL, Oh god that would've been so bad if it was Reno, especially since he's supposed to be Axel's brother in this (But I don't think I've mentioned it yet, lawlz) THANKYOUSOMUCH, DEAR :majorhearts:

**MooMoo: **yeah, poor Axel, but he got a little something this chapter, yeah? C: And thanks, but as it turns out we're not going to move!:'D I'm happy, but kinda bummed at the same time. Ah well!


	10. The people that you love to see

**Disclaimer: **I own a kingdom hearts snuggie. It's pretty sexy, in my opinion.

**A/N; **Thanks you guys all so much for the reviews! :heart: And special thanks to **Lele-the-greek-geek FOR MY FIRST EVER FANART**. I never ever ever ever thought I'd get fanart but... ; A ; It's just so awesome, as is she. It's the nutella scene from chapter 7.** SO YEAH OBVIOUSLY FANART LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF MY PROFILE, CHECK IT OUT**. .

In other news, I sold my first two things on etsy :'D**  
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><p><strong>Chapter 10:<strong> The people that you love to see

Whatever had possessed Leon to become a dorm advisor was to be hunted down, strung up by it's toes, and shot on site with no remorse. He felt he could pull off such a feat quite fantastically if given the opportunity, but wasn't quite sure killing the dean would be acceptable. It had been the dean, after all, who had insisted that Leon get 'more involved' in order to 'prove his antisocial stereotype wrong' and therefore 'open up future opportunities'. Last time he checked, you didn't need to have the best people skills in order to be a police officer—detective? Yes. Police Officer? No. He was quite secure in his belief that the Hollow Bastion Police Department wouldn't give two shits about his activity, or lack thereof, in college, in the end, that wasn't what mattered. What mattered was whether or not he could make decisions with a level-head and shoot accurately enough to stop whatever crime he was dealt.

The dean, however, felt quite differently about this. Being the unfortunate person that he was, the Dean just happened to be Leon's uncle, and would waste no time in informing the student's mother of his less than social behavior, which would result in the woman cancelling her latest business trip to speed down to the school and chew Leon out.

Now, Leon certainly did not enjoy dealing with the annoyance that was the underclassmen on a daily basis. They never failed to be loud, obnoxious, or brash—majority of them doing all three at once. When it came to most things, he would block them from his life at the first sign of irritation. This, however, proved quite difficult when his job as dorm advisor required him to be the go-to-man for any and all problems, as well as acting as the 'den mother' of the building, keeping noise level to a minimum and keeping peace amongst everyone.

It was an utter load of bullshit.

At least there were breaks from the living hell that was the school dormitories, time in which he could sit back and recover from the trauma of the semester and head back home for some relaxation. That was what Leon had told himself since the first day of August when he had accepted the job as dorm advisor, and it had been totally false. He'd forgot to calculate the fact that Christmas holidays were always spent with the family, which generally meant all of the close-knit cousins, aunts, and uncles piling up together in one house for their idea of 'fun'. This so-called 'fun' was more of an extended purgatory for Leon, due in large part to his oh-so-wonderful cousin who, not only was the epitome of a loud fuck, but also had a best friend who came in close second and was one of the main sources of noise in the dorm Leon manned.

In a sense, work had followed him home. And, admittedly, he kind of wanted to kill himself. Or someone else, perhaps just shank the nearest victim—which would hopefully be his cousin.

And so, that is the tale of why Leon now found himself at the nearest QuickMart, a brooding, tall brunet glowering at a rack of charcoal (because for a reason unknown, someone had deemed it a brilliant idea to grill the Christmas turkey this year) to anyone else, but a mere victim of society and some bitch named Karma who decided peace, the one thing he craved, was not necessary in his life, looking for a way out of the zoo that was the house.

Basically, he had offered himself up for grocery shopping. The grocery store was hell fraught with old women crashing cards into displays and running over your feet if it meant getting the last can of cranberries, and just 'happening' to drop a pack of condoms into said old woman's cart when she wasn't paying attention. So, he did the next best thing and headed for QuickMart, a convenience store/gas station filled with pathetic douchebags that he could cope with a lot better than dusty old cranks.

Hoisting a bag of the safest looking charcoal off the shelf and tossing it into his hand basket, Leon turned and headed toward the freezers lining the back wall. He knew full well that he would need to be at least somewhat inebriated to deal with the next few days, so might as well stock up now so he wouldn't have to deal with it half way through one of the traditional family sing alongs. Perhaps he should pick up some earplugs while he was at it—that would solve the problem altogether and save his eardrums from bleeding profusely at the ungodly notes his cousin deemed it necessary to hit.

"Yes, Mom, everything is fine,"

Leon certainly wouldn't call what he did eavesdropping, he simply found a way to entertain himself whenever he went out alone, and other people's surrounding conversation fit the bill.

"We just had a bit of car trouble, that's all. No…No, you don't need to send him to come and get—Wait, they're there already? How the hell did _that_ happen? Didn't they just leave the other—Well, I know they didn't, but Mom, seriously—"

It wasn't like he was interfering with anything. To anyone else he looked to be observing the shitty selection of beer before him; it wasn't like he was actually stupid enough to look at the guy speaking, though from what he heard, he could undoubtedly presume the man was on the phone. That is to say, unless he was some type of schizophrenic and carrying on a conversation with himself.

"For the last time, it wasn't my idea…I don't have anything to own up to, it is his fault! I—" A sigh. "…I'm sorry. Look, tell Aunty Serah I'll before tomorrow for sure, alright?...Yeah, love you too, Mom…If you expect me to be there by today then we're going to have to break a few laws...Not like _that_, Mom...Bye,"

Frowning, Leon tugged open the freezer door and began reaching for a twelve-pack of coronas, thoroughly disappointed with the conversation that had just transpired. Even if he had been talking to his mother, the guy could've at least proven to be a bit more entertaining considering he was in a shabby convenience store—who the hell came to a QuickMart on Christmas eve, if not a pathetic loner (Leon, naturally, being the exception).

"Fucking Reno, that little bitch: _'Oh, hey Cloud, let's take a fucking cross-country trip, I bet you we can do it in a week flat. Come on, don't be a little bitch, I bet you're just scared 'cause you don't want your mommy to yell at you, forget about the fact that I'm standing on the other side of this divider because I know that you can kick my ass. It'll be fun—live a little! All you do is study and work; you should be more like me and just slack off, expecting to get by in life on way or another!_'"

Leon might've admitted that the high-pitched voice the man had taken on, undoubtedly mocking someone, disturbed him more than a little bit. Not that he minded, it served as his entertainment and suddenly he wasn't so sure if he wanted Corona or Bud Light.

"But you know what, it doesn't even matter anymore," the man was muttering to himself and out the corner of his eye Leon could see the next freezer door over being ripped open mercilessly. "It's that asshole's turn to drive, and I think I'm going to get drunk off my ass for the next two hours and let him deal with _that_. And then I'll pass out while I'm at it, and if the bitch even thinks about trying to take a nap while driving and I die, I will haunt the fuck out of him. Maybe I'll drop a piano on his fat head,"

The man slammed the door, pack of Mike's hard lemonade in hand, which probably wasn't the best option when attempting to get shit-faced, but Leon didn't comment as he found his gaze locked with near glowing, and quickly narrowing, beryl eyes.

So he had accidently looked. It certainly would've been hard not to before, had he known what had been standing a few mere feet away. In front of him stood a man of relatively the same height, perhaps an inch or two shorter, with an assortment of dangerously spiked hair that seemed to stick up the most in one particular cluster in the front before smoothing back in a somewhat uniform fashion. Longer pieces of blond hair framed his face, somewhat soft around the edges but with a strong, squared jaw, where lips pursed beneath a straight, slightly sloped nose.

Leon certainly wasn't one to live in denial and would, therefore, not lie to himself and call the man standing before him ugly, even if the words coming from his mouth were.

"What the fuck are you looking at?"

Leon raised a brow, mildly amused in his own right. "A homicidal blond."

"You better watch out, then, I never know when the itch to kill comes along," the man spat back.

"Oh, yes, you look very," his eyes roamed down to the pack of Mike's. "Threatening."

At least the blonde was aware of how he looked carrying the ridiculous black and pink (alcohol supporting breast cancer, how nice) container, deflating and letting out a heavy sigh, though his glare never wavered. "Not having the best of weeks, so if you would kindly fuck off that'd be great."

"Can't be worse than mine," Now when had he thought it alright to continue conversations with strangers? It was his duty to listen in on others, not join in.

The blonde raised a questioning brow, the spiteful look he was giving Leon now mixed with something dubious.

He took that as a cue to continue. "I'm a dorm advisor, have to deal with screaming students on a daily basis, even on weekends—my supposed 'days off'. I figured that winter break would let me get away, but of course my cousin and his best friend, who both go to the college, are back home to, so I have to see their faces every day and listening to them shout and sing and play fucking guitar hero and it is taking all of my will power not throw my head on the grill, ending all the suffering now."

The man studied him for a second before snorting, tossing his head to the side slightly. "That's nothing. Basically, a so-called friend of mine somehow convinced me—I think he drugged my coffee—into taking a cross country road trip with him before Christmas. First day, the car broke down and we had to catch a ride with some trucker who kept making passes at me. Third day, my dumbass of a friend tried to seduce the lady at the counter of the gas station because he left his wallet in the car and was too lazy to go back to get it. There was a police officer behind him who misunderstood and arrested him for prostitution; he spent the night in jail and I had to pay two-hundred dollars to bail his ass out. Today is the tenth day and we're ten minutes from his house but I have to drive another ten hours until I get home in the state we started in.

"What makes things even better is the fact that we took his car so I have to drive back here to pick him up and drive all the way back there again before our break is over."

By the time the blond was done he was seething, eyes burning with rage and panting lightly—whether it be from the multiple sentences he spewed without a break for breath or from repressing a large amount of anger.

Leon raised a brow, "I thought you were going to get drunk for the next couple of hours?"

"Obviously, I didn't think that through," the man growled, shoving the alcohol back in the freezer and opting instead to snatch a bag of puffy Cheetos from a nearby rack.

Admittedly, Leon had to feel bad for the guy, even if he didn't quite understand his predicament with the speed he had been talking. "You win."

"What?"

"Your week was worse."

"Told you," the man said, the ghost of a smile marking his lips as he continued past him toward the front counter with one last lingering glance.

Turning back to the freezer before him, Leon looked over the selection once more. Mike's Hard didn't sound so bad.

-.-.-

The moment Leon opened the front door, he was assaulted by noise. By now, everyone had gathered at Aunt Elena's house, and though his own mother's home was just down the street, she had taken away his key and locked every door and window, ensuring that he wouldn't try and escape the holiday festivities and 'family bonding'. Clever woman, she was.

"Demyx just shut up about it already!"

Leon sighed, shutting the door behind him as he took off his shoes and tucked them in the corner. He really didn't want to go into the kitchen, where the demon spawns had just ran into, but he did need to put the milk away…Might as well get it over with now.

"But why? You can't deny the truth, Axel! I _saw_ it, I saw what happened!" Demyx was grinning madly, leaning against the counter as his redheaded best friend glared at him from the entrance of the kitchen. Leon pushed past him easily and headed straight for the fridge.

"What are you two talking about?" That was Aunty Elena who was sitting at the round kitchen table sipping a mug of what he assumed to be coffee. He just wished she wouldn't encourage them.

"Axel's got a boyfriend!" his cousin shouted, bouncing giddily on the balls of his feet. Leon vaguely wondered where he got the energy from, and had a strange suspicion that it came in the form of illegal drugs. Probably got them from Marluxia.

"Demyx, for the last time he is not my boyfriend! It was a kiss on the cheek—friends can kiss each other on the cheek! And he already has a boyfriend! It was _your_ fault anyway, who the fuck told you to put a mistletoe there?" the redhead looked about ready to throw the nearest plate of cookies; Leon really wouldn't blame him if he did, as long as he cleaned up behind himself.

"I was helping you out—it wasn't like you were going to make a move in the first place."

"Because there's no reason for me to!" Axel hissed.

"Going after a taken man? My, my, I never knew my boy was so bold," Aunt Cissnei was seated at the table besides Elena, smirking at her son. She wasn't an aunt in the blood related sense, but had been best friends with Aunt Elena since the two were in high school and had established herself as a member of the family far before any of the children were born. Though a few years older, Leon had had to deal with both her son and his own cousins during the holidays since he was little; he really should be used to it by now, but they were just so damn annoying.

"Mom, don't encourage him!"

"Oh, yeah, you should see him Aunty Cissnei, it's so obvious he's into the kid, and when his boyfriend was visiting, Ax was ready to kill." The redhead shot daggers at his best friend, taking a threatening step toward him.

"I'm going to kill you."

"Axel, dear, stop making a scene," Cissnei said, waving him off as she tucked a lock of blood orange hair behind her ear. Her smirk had turned much more feral. "Now, Demyx, darling, tell me he's going about it with some kind of tact and not just trying to jump the poor boy's bones."

Axel stomped over to the table and drop into a vacant chair, slouching as he dropped his head on the wooden surface. "Aunty Elena, make them stop," he groaned, knowing full well it would be a cold day in hell before he disobeyed his mother and got away unscathed.

"You know I can't stop them once they get going," the blond woman said, patting his hand reassuringly as Demyx and Cissnei babbled on.

He sighed, "I guess."

She leaned forward, grinning. "So is he cute?"

-.-.-

Cloud groaned as he pulled into the driveway of his aunt's house, headlights of Reno's beat up Malibu illuminating the white garage door behind him. It'd taken him eight and a half hours, at least ten broken speed limits, and three sudden breaks to avoid being pulled over by the cops that must've caused the car at least some type of internal damage. If he was lucky, Reno's car would break down for good after they got back from break and the bastard would be left car-less. Of course, he wasn't that lucky, and even if Reno's car did happen to have a meltdown, the asshole would have plenty of money to fix it, or simply buy a new one, because his job (whatever it was, Cloud had no idea) paid a shitload of cash.

But, let bygones be bygones (bullshit, he was going to get Reno back for this), he was home now and that was all that mattered. He'd made it back on time, with—he glanced at the digital clock on the dashboard—three minutes to spare.

Climbing out of the car, Cloud slammed the door behind him and snatched his backpack full of clothes from the backseat before slowly dragging his feet up the front walk. It took all his willpower to patiently wait after pressing the doorbell once rather than stabbing at it repeatedly in hopes that somebody would get fed up and hurry to come open the door so he could stumble onto the couch and pass out. Sleep sounded so good right now.

Finally, the door swung open and he was met with an oh-so-angry aunt, pink hair frazzled and hand on her penguin-pajama covered hip. "You're late," she said, eyes narrowed.

"I said I would be here before Christmas, and I'm here," he replied groggily, fighting to keep his eyes open.

Lifting a brow, she pulled a cellphone out of nowhere and threateningly lifted it up so he was able to see the screen. _12:02 a.m. _Well it wasn't his damn fault that they took forever to open the door.

"I told you to be here on time, your mother told you to be here on time, but did you listen to either of us? No! Christmas is ruined, now!"

Cloud stared unbelieving at his aunt, not quite comprehending her anger. "It's still Christmas, I don't see what the big deal is. We'll all wake up in the morning at it'll be the same as always,"

"Everyone knows the best part of Christmas is the days leading up to it that you spend with your family!" the woman cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation before she turned sharply and made it toward the staircase.

Letting out a sigh, Cloud rubbed tiredly at his eyes. Where was his own mother to calm down her prissy sister when he needed her? Aunt Serah was nice majority of the time, but there seemed to be something about the holidays that required all women to become high strung. At least the worst of it was over now and he could go get a decent night's sleep (the first he'd had in a week) before dealing with the chaos that would be the household eight hours from now.

Heading into the living room, he was faced with quite an unpleasant site. His two _favorite_, oh so _darling_ cousins seated on the love seat, both gracing him with looks that made him quite uncomfortable and gave him reason worry about his well fair. Sora, ever the happy-go-lucky ball of oh-my-god-please-shut-up-already, sat with his arms crossed haughtily, an uncharacteristic scowl marring his features as he glared viciously at Cloud. Beside him, Roxas was more than a little amused and failing terribly at hiding it.

"What's your problem?" he asked, regarding Sora with an inquisitive stare.

"You."

"Excuse me?" Cloud questioned, ignoring Roxas who was trying to suppress his laughter.

"You're my problem," the brunet seethed, getting to his feet, fists clenched at his side.

"What the hell did I do to you?" Honestly, after all the shit he had gone through this week—no, this month—he certainly didn't need to deal with anything else, particularly his cousin who, at one point in time, had been the true blue 'little ray of sunshine'. College had apparently changed this quite a bit, but Roxas seemed to still be the impish little midget that he always had been. Maybe it was his fault for not taking any time to visiting them the pass couple of months, despite them all living in the same city and attending the same college, even if he was five years older.

"Everything! We could've been opening presents tonight, Cloud! Presents! But no, you wanted to take your sweet time getting here, and then had to go and piss our mom off!" Sora shouted as he stabbed at his chest with a pointy finger.

Cloud opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again only to have no sound come out and continued on to stare at Sora in disbelief. What. The fuck.

On the couch, Roxas was freely laughing his ass off. The little douchebag.

"You know what, Cloud? No. Just no," Sora said, looking like he was near hysterics. "It doesn't matter anymore—it doesn't even matter. I'm going to go sleep, wake up, and in the morning everything's gonna be fine. It's going to be a good, normal Christmas, there's going to be presents, and I'm going to get fat off of cookies! And _you_," he narrowed his eyes at the Cloud. "_You_ are not going to ruin it,"

With that, the angry brunet stormed up the staircase, following the footsteps of his mother. Roxas lingered for a few moments, a pleased smirk on his face. "Good to see you, Cloud,"

"You too, Rox," he huffed as he flopped down on the couch.

Merry fucking Christmas.

-.-.-

"Did you miss me, Roxy?"

It was at times like these that Axel was glad Roxas had a bad habit of leaving his dorm unlocked. When he had first learned of this, he had started going on and on about the chances of an axe murderer invading the dormitory and Roxas being the first to go because he was careless enough to leave his dorm unlocked, practically an open invitation, and on top of that the blonde was always to first to go, anyway. Now, however, an unlocked door came quite handy.

To his surprise, he wasn't met with the irritated glare of Roxas, shoveling food into his mouth as he attempted to curse at Axel around it, but instead with the curious look of dainty girl who stood at Roxas' wall of photos, probably having been examining them before his sudden entrance. Pale blonde hair framed her softly angled face, side swept bangs falling into her blue that reminded him of the indigo milk caps they had studied in environmental sciences, the rest pulled lightly over one shoulder. She was dressed casually in what looked to be a white cashmere sweater along with bleached jeans, a gentle smile on her face as she regarded Axel.

"He did, actually," she began, her voice so soft he was surprised he could hear her at all, considering she was standing on the opposite side of the dorm. "The past couple of days he's been going on about how quiet it is without you around. He says it's a good thing, but I can tell he missed you."

"Uh…" Was Axel's terribly intelligent reply, to which the girl only smiled more.

"That is, assuming you're Axel," she said as she made her way toward him. He nodded dumbly and she laughed, holding out a pale hand. "I'm Namine, Roxas' cousin."

Snapping out of his stupor, the redhead took up her hand and shook it lightly, afraid he might break the girl. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," she smiled. Then, noticing the quizzical look he was giving her, asked, "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no…It's just Rox never mentioned you," he replied sheepishly.

"That makes sense, I haven't been able to see him much lately; we've both been so busy with school," she hummed. "But I've heard plenty about you. He seems to think highly of you, I'm glad someone's keeping his busy."

"Someone's gotta keep the little monster in line," Axel grinned, ignoring the flutter in his stomach at the idea of Roxas talking about him, presumably good things, especially to someone he seemed so close to, such as Namine. "So do you go to school here?"

"Yes, I'm a sophomore majoring in Art," she told him. She regarded him for a moment with an analyzing gaze before opening her mouth to speak, stopping when a door down the hall opened suddenly. A moment later Roxas appeared, dressed in a pair of loose boxers and a worn out Blink 182 t-shirt that looked as if it had had a nasty encounter with a large amount of either chlorine or bleach. Around his neck hung a large blue towel which he was using to dry his hair. Funny, Axel hadn't heard the shower running. Then again, his hearing sucked after being on the receiving end of one too many of Demyx's 'fucking rad jam sessions' growing up.

"I'm off, Roxas," Namine said, grabbing her bag from one of the food bar stools where it sat.

"What? Why?" Roxas whined. If Axel didn't know any better he could've swore he saw him pouting.

"I need to get going."

Roxas turned to Axel, eyes narrowed as he gave him a questioning glare. "What did you do?"

"He didn't do anything. We had a nice little conversation, actually; I approve," she said as she leaned in to give the boy a hug.

Roxas rolled his eyes, "I don't need you to approve my friendships, Nami."

"I guess not," she shrugged, though a somewhat devious smile seemed to be tugging at her lips. "I'll come by later this week, Rox. And it was nice meeting you Axel, hopefully we'll be seeing more of each other." With that, the blonde left the dorm, neither of the boys noticing the knowing spark in her eyes.

"What're you doing here?" Roxas snapped the moment the front door closed. Axel grinned, slinging an arm around him.

"Don't even pretend like you didn't miss me, Roxy," he cooed as he led the blonde over to the couch, plopping down on the worn cushions. "Namine told me all about it; you just couldn't stop talking about me—dying without me, you were."

Roxas rolled his eyes, "I'm not even going to say anything because—"

"You know I'm right."

"Because even if I say you're wrong, you won't take no for an answer," the blonde said with a pointed look across the couch as he settled against the opposite arm.

"You know me so well," Axel crooned, grin growing to Cheshire proportions as he flopped over, head resting on Roxas' knees. "So how was your Christmas? Get anything good?"

"It was decent. I got a new laptop," he said with a shrug as he tossed his towel to the floor, much too comfortable in his seat to hang it up in it's proper place in the bathroom.

"I know you are not acting like that's no big deal," Axel grumbled, glaring up at the blonde. If he'd gotten a new laptop he'd be bragging up and down about it, probably flaunting it wherever he went. He'd even go so far as to be one of those douches that sat in the coffee shops for hours on end, never really doing anything of substance but instead surfing the web and making new playlists on YouTube.

"No, it's totally awesome," Roxas said, cracking a wide smile. Axel laughed as the blonde began to idly play with his stalactite spikes. "What about you?"

"It was decent—nothing special," He paused, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. "I saw my brother,"

"You have a brother?" the blonde asked. Axel certainly hadn't ever mentioned a brother.

The redhead laughed humorlessly. "If you want to call it that. He's been more of an ass than anything over the years. He's a couple years older. We have different dads, and his dad and our mom don't get along very well, so he wasn't around very much when I was growing up. I don't really blame him—he called every once and a while, but he was more of a guy who happened to share the same looks as me rather than my brother," he shrugged, closing his eyes to the comfort of Roxas' fingers running through his hair. "I don't remember the last time he was around for the holidays, if ever, but I guess this year he just decided that showing up would be a good idea."

"What's he like?"

"Pretty cool, actually," he hummed, thinking back to Christmas Eve when his brother had suddenly appeared, fitting right in with both his and Demyx's family as if he had been there all those years. He even took part in the traditional (well, Axel and Demyx's tradition, anyway) game of piss off Leon until he loses his cool and breaks something.

"Are you guys alike?" Roxas inquired curiously.

"So much it's scary," the redhead laughed. "I still think I'm sexier, though."

"Sure you are," Roxas drawled, amusement lacing his words.

"I'll let you meet him sometime, turns out he moved out here a few months ago," Axel could only imagine what it would've been like if he had run into him on the street of one of the shopping districts or in one of the local cafes, maybe even Pluto's. That would've been a whole lot of awkward and a crap load of Jerry Springer shit. "Works for some company called Shinra."

"Really? I have a cousin who works there part time," Roxas said, hands stopping in their movement. Axel almost whined at the loss of contact—he'd never admit it but he fucking loved when people played with his hair.

"What's with you and all these cousins?" Axel questioned as he cocked a crimson brow. Roxas shrugged.

"There's family all over the place."

Axel made a noise of agreement. "I guess so."

The two sat in silence, Roxas leaning back against the couch once more as he continued to run his fingers through the red locks and Axel staring up at the popcorn ceiling. He'd never understood the point of popcorn ceiling; they were really just stupid and ugly. At some point in time he had read online possibility that that was a concentrated amount of bullshit.

Though it had been fun to be back home for the past week and a half, seeing his family and old friends, it felt good to be back on campus, surprisingly enough. More so, to be here with Roxas, just hanging out as they usually did and enjoying each other's company. Eleven days of separation from the blonde might've been just what he needed to admit to the warm feeling in his chest as he lay there and the unrest of his heart each time he came in contact with Roxas.

Maybe…Maybe he did—

"So you wanna watch Pocahontas?"

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><p><strong>AN:** I could write a one-shot side story about Leon and Cloud that would be at least 30k. I love them so hard, I think that's why I like this chapter so much.  
><strong>Family Relations!<strong> (Up to this point, in case people are confused) Not too important, but details will come back later on. Soooo, Demyx and Axela are bestfriends because their moms have been best friends since highscool, so their families are really close. Marluxia and Leon are Demyx's cousins. Leon works as a dorm advisor at HBU. While visitng back home, he meets Cloud at the convenience store. Cloud is friends with Reno, who (you guys are smart enough to guess even though Axel never mentioned a name) is Axel's older half brother. Cloud and Namine are both Sora and Roxas' cousins.

So yeah. I think this is the longest chapter yet, I hope you guys liked it. THE BALL STARTS ROLLING NEXT CHAPTER. And Namine gives her two-cent. (This is where a laplz on DeviantArt would come in handy ; A ;)

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><p><strong>Anonymous replies:<strong>

**Destry:** Totally unexpected, where did _you_ come from? I think I would've gone insane if I had written anymore, my brain and fingers simply weren't cooperating XD Aw, thanks, and thanks for reviewing that one. TBH, I was trying to update on thursday, but it didn't happen XD SO YOU KNEW I WAS UPDATING ON AKUROKU DAY BEFORE I DID. Congratulations, you have successfully predicted the future. Cookies for you. XDD Thank you dear! :heart:

**Strawberry-worlf01:** 'Cause I'm too lazy to go to your profile and send a PM thanking you (imsuchalazyassdeargod). XD I'm glad you liked that part! Roxas is so nice, my brothers only get me on present (if even), but that's okay 'cause they're usually awesome. This past year I got a five pound gummy bear (not five pounds worth of gummy bear, but one huge one that weighed that much) from my oldest one C: Thank you, you're so sweet!

**YourFavorite:** ffff, that's okay, I still understood it xD Lawlz, unfortunately Seifer is still gonna be around (not for another chapter or two, though), 'cause Roxy is not a whore and is faithful to his boyfriend :I . FFFF, you flatter me! :heart: I've said it before, but your reviews just make me flail with joy. XD Now this chapter explains it-ohoho! LOL, that wasn't terrible, it actually made me laugh ridiculously hard XD Thank youuu C:


	11. All you held onto

**Warnings: **The usual cursing, me not being funny, and some cuddling. And this one is self-edited, so forgive any mistakes (or just yell at me and tell me to fix it)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own KH or Final Fantasy, yada yada. I also have no claim to If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, Fantastic Four, Adventure Time, or the Regular Show. I doubt you guys catch half the pop culture references I throw in here, fffff.

**A/N: **So I did have specific people to thank, but, really, just thank all of you guys for reading, reviewing, faving, and watching this story. I know it's been a while (two months I think) since I updated, but school started in September and courses are pretty rigorous this year. As it is I'm neglecting outlines for eleven essay prompts in order to write this (not like I care much). On top of that I do tech for our school plays, so I hardly have any free time. Majority of this was written for back in September, actually, and the rest I already had planned but needed to find the time to write. So I stayed up till 5 a.m. doing so.

But hey, this is nearly 8,000 words, so I hope you guys can forgive my absence C:

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><p><strong>Chapter 11:<strong> All you held onto

There were very few things that Axel could say he loathed with pure and unadulterated hate, and the library certainly was one of them. Sure he stopped by every now and again to pick up a book he was too lazy to buy, and have the occasional study session, but generally made a point to avoid the place at all costs. It wasn't that he hated books or anything—he worked in a bookstore, for Christ's sake—he was actually quite fond of the things, but something about libraries just put him off. Honestly, the only somewhat good memory he had of the place was when Roxas had stumbled in (he was still convinced the blonde had been stalking him) with an awkward apology, and even that was tarnished—Roxas had been downright scary back then, no matter how much it hurt his pride to admit it. Come to think of it, the blonde still was pretty damn frightening (him being a passive aggressive midget and all), but Axel must've built up some type of immunity to him.

Dropping his backpack unceremoniously onto a free table (earning quite a few glares from nearby book-perusers), he began rummaging through it for the equipment necessary for the endless study session he was about to throw himself into. According to Professor Seymour (who Axel had been unfortunate to get stuck with yet again), first semester had just been a 'warm up' and now the real work would start, beginning with their test at the end of the week that he promised to be much harder than the finals. Naturally, Axel's response had been somewhere along the lines of 'You fucking bitch', but he really didn't have a choice. It wasn't like he could just drop the class—no matter how appealing that sounded—due to the fact that it was rather vital to his major.

Heavy textbooks now spread out haphazardly across the table; the redhead practically emptied his rucksack in an attempt to find any form of a highlighter and notecards for flashcards. Yes flashcards. It was a known fact that flashcards were the best learning tool known to man, and anyone who denied such brilliant fact was clearly a dumbass who needed to go back to kindergarten and pick their nose.

Axel glared at the bag before him, coming to conclusion that the thing was eating his school supplies. With a huff he headed toward the front desk (on the other end of the fucking library, Oh Joy) where Yuna, a friendly senior at HBU with charming heterochromia eyes who worked at the library on weekdays, kept a supply of pencils, pens, highlighters, loose leaf paper, and various other office supplies. This certainly wasn't the first time Axel's backpack had deemed it necessary to inhale his writing tools into it's copious amounts of dark, abysmal folds, and this far into the year Yuna had pretty much told him to help himself.

Approaching the desk, Axel wasn't surprised to find Yuna absent (probably off restocking the shelves with books people were too damn lazy to put away themselves) and gladly reached over to pluck a short stack of notecards and a yellow highlighter from it. Sure, there were other options there—green, pink, orange, _blue_—but Axel had always been partial to yellow. Maybe it was something about sticking to the classics or some bullshit like that; it was certainly the only orthodox thing about him.

Hollow Bastion Community Library was set up so, upon first walking in, you were with the front receptionist desk. Nearby there was the book return, to the far right was the fiction section along with tables and private rooms meant for study groups and/or book clubs, but directly to the left there was the children's section. The children's section, where pages were colorful and words never too small, where puzzles were never lacking and often times there was a forgotten piece found under the elephant-shaped chairs. It was a magical place where you could easily get lost in the sparkly world of unicorns and puppy dog shit…or something like that.

All Axel knew was that distracting himself with a few rounds of Blue's Clues on the computer sounded like a pretty damn good idea and so, wasting no time, started out toward the child-friendly computers placed at the back of the colorful section. Sure, it might look weird to see a grown man clacking away at some game featuring a man well into his thirties and a gender-confused dog, all the while sitting in a small plastic chair that was entirely too small for him, but Axel really didn't care. It wasn't like any of the people he actually hung around with were wasting their time loitering about in the kids' section of the library, and he certainly didn't care what a few stay at home moms or nosey goobers thought of him.

Axel had just started humming the well-known tune of 'Sit down in my thinking chair and think…think…thiiiiink…' more than a little excited at the prospect of putting his studying off for another half hour, when all too familiar words reached his ears, bringing about an involuntary smile.

"When you give a mouse a cookie…"

He wasn't quite sure when his legs had suddenly decided to change direction, but, surely enough, the gentle voice was becoming more clear as he continued.

"He's going to ask for a glass of milk,"

Surprisingly, the voice wasn't that of a female. Well, he supposed it really shouldn't be that surprising, it was perfectly normal for guys to read the book to their kid, but this person sounded young.

"When you give him the milk…"

Actually, the voice sounded kind of familiar.

"He'll probably ask you for a straw,"

Like, really familiar.

"When he's finished, he'll ask for a napkin,"

As in—

"Then he'll want to look in a mirror to make sure he doesn't have a milk mustache," Axel watched as Roxas turned a page in the book that he stood upright in his lap, facing the small group of children in front of him so they could see the pictures. On the pages, a boy stood in front of a sink just beyond the bathroom threshold, holding up to a mirror a small mouse who was presumably checking his fur for a milk mustache.

"When he looks into the mirror, he might notice his hair needs a trim," The blonde read, undeterred by the fact that he was looking at the words upside down.

"Look, Woxas, he has a haiw stickin' up," A purple-haired girl sitting directly in front of Roxas said, pointing up at the page with a chubby finger. Roxas laughed lightly, the small smile that he had been wearing for the entirety of the read-a-loud (from what Axel saw, at least) widening.

"He does, doesn't he, Maria?" he agreed, nodding to the girl before he continued. "So he will probably ask for a pair of nail scissors. When he's finished giving himself a trim, he'll want a broom to sweep up. He'll start sweeping. He might get carried away and sweep _every room_ in the house. He may even end up _washing_ the floors as well!"

Roxas leaned forward, cerulean eyes wide and looking surprised. Axel couldn't help but find it endearing, the way the blonde got so into the story, presumably for the sake of the kids. Not to mention the amount of expression he put into it—especially considering it was _Roxas _whose emotional range often times seemed limited from 'I-will-fucking-kill-you' to 'Get-the-fuck-out-if-you-enjoy-your-genitals-free-from-the-caverns-of-your-own-esophagus'. Why couldn't they have someone like Roxas do the 'reading on tape' recordings that always came with a set of children's books meant for the classroom? Axel still remembered the terrible nasally and over-exaggerated voice of the woman his first grade teacher played when she had sore throat that rendered her unable to read aloud.

Seven-year-old Axel would've willingly eaten the tape if it meant not having to hear that horrifying woman's voice anymore. That, however, had gotten him sent to the office, landed with a bemused principal and his guffawing mother who couldn't get over the fact that he tried to eat the recording.

He had been desperate, dammit.

Axel leaned against a nearby bookshelf and listened for the remainder of the story, powerless to the small smile that remained on his face throughout. He watched Roxas, so wrapped up in story time that he didn't even notice the nearby redhead, as he continued to read, changing his voice often to suit the story and responding kindly whenever one of the kids at his feet asked him a question or made some remark. In all honesty, it was probably one of the sweetest things he'd ever seen, though Axel would be hard pressed to admit it without a loaded gun held to his head.

He would never consider himself a sap, or anything of the like, but seeing Roxas sit there without a trace of animosity or sarcasm, free of the biting remarks that usually spewed from his mouth or his sometimes passive aggressive tendencies…it was kind of nice.

And weird as fuck, so of course Axel had to do something to ruin it.

"Is the mouse going to get another cookie, Roxas?" a boy with pale white hair asked after Roxas had finished the last page, shutting the book and setting it back on it's shelf.

The blonde hummed, looking thoughtful as he got to his feet. "I don't know, Firion, I guess it depends on if the boy feels like being nice or not,"

"Of course he'll get another cookie!" Another boy shouted, obviously not caring that he was in a library. "He _has_ to!"

"Nuh-uh! Mommy doesn't le' ush have more than one coo'ie," the girl from before, Maria, stated matter-o-factly. Based on their similar hair color and matching outfits, it was safe to assume that she was the boy's sister.

"He will get another one, though, right, Roxas?" a chubby boy asked, looking up at him pleadingly.

"Why, of course he will!" Axel announced, making his grand entrance. There wasn't anything 'grand' about it, and he had been standing there for quite some time, but whatever, those were mere details in the grand scheme of things. Heading toward Roxas, he threw an arm around the blonde's shoulders and pulled him against his side. "It would be mean if the boy didn't give him another, isn't that right, Roxy?"

Before the stunned Roxas could answer, Maria piped up with a pout. "It woul'n't be mean! My mommy—"

"Doesn't let you have more than one cookie, I heard," he interrupted, not paying the girl any mind.

"Axel, what are you doing here?" Roxas asked as he regarded the taller student with an inquisitive stare.

Axel grinned, "I'm here for story time; I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

"Aren't you a little old for story time?" the girl's brother asked haughtily as he sent Axel as much glare as a five-year-old could muster. The redhead returned the look tenfold, hereby marking the two brats as the 'bitch twins' in his book. At his side, Roxas snorted.

"Yeah, old man, aren't you a little old for story time?" he asked with an amused smirk.

"Says the college student who just read 'If you give a mouse a cookie'," Axel snorted, lopsided grin prevalent.

"Shut up, it's a good book, and it was for the kids,"

"Woxas, you said a bad wowd!" Bitch-twin number one gasped, eyes wide.

Roxas glanced down at her with a furrowed brow to see the rest of the children shared similar horrified looks. "No I didn't,"

"Yes you did!" Bitch-twin number two shouted, stomping his foot as he pointed an undoubtedly booger-covered finger at Roxas. Axel considered kicking the brat in the face, simply for his own satisfaction; It was kids like him that deterred Axel from ever wanting any, even the adopted kind.

"You said the '_S' word_," Firion whispered as he leaned forward conspiratorially, his chubby friend nodding vigorously beside him.

Roxas had the decency to suppress his chuckles and smile, putting on his best serious face. Axel, however, was not as king and busted out in laughter, to which Roxas silenced him with a backhand to the gut. It wasn't even that funny.

"You're right," the blonde said as he bit his lip, doing his best to look worried. Squatting down so he was eye level with the child, he whispered, "You guys won't tell on me, though, will you?"

"You're secret's safe with us! Right, guys?" the small boy turned expectantly to his friends.

Bitch-Twin two frowned, "But—"

"_Right_, guys?" he repeated firmly. Axel decided he liked the kid—there was hope after all.

"Right," he grumbled sullenly, crossing his arms.

"Are you guys ready?" a woman asked as she approached, regarding the children with a warm smile. A mass of blonde hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun, a few pieces falling loose and spiraling well past her collar bone, and deep navy eyes, surrounded by faint smiles lines, lit up as they traveled from each child

She turned toward Roxas as the kids all ran to herd around her. "I hope they weren't a problem, Roxas,"

"Not at all, Miss Hilda, they were great as always," the blonde said, smiling.

"Well, thank you, again," she said before turning to the children, taking Bitch-twin number two's hand with her free one, the other carrying books, as the other kids kept close by. "Come on, guys, we have to go home and get dinner ready for daddy—he said he'll be home early tonight,"

The two students watched as the woman made off with her now cheering children, all of them giggling giddily or jabbering on as they tugged on her various articles of clothing. Axel grimaced, "Are all of those kids hers?"

"Yeah. They're all adopted, but Maria and Leon are siblings," Roxas said, staring after the group thoughtfully before he snapped his attention to Axel. "Now what're you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Axel responded as a grin came across his features—but, really, when was he ever without a grin? Roxas just had that effect on him…and he was a condescending asshole half the time, but that was another story. "I never took you for the mommy-Roxas type,"

Roxas rolled his eyes as he started toward the front desk, Axel in tow. It wasn't that he didn't want the redhead around, he was simply surprised—if not pleasantly so. Admittedly, he maybe sorta kinda missed him during the winter holiday. After he'd gone through all the trouble of getting used to the big, dumb dork, it just felt a tad bit weird not having him around to fill the silence. That was all, really.

"I stop by and read to the kids when I have free time," he shrugged, nodding to Yuna who had fixed them with an amused look as they passed.

"Well isn't that cute," the redhead cooed patronizingly, skillfully dodging a punch thrown his way a moment later. Dropping a large hand on Roxas' head, he ruffled the blonde spikes, much to the shorter man's dismay. "You're just a big old softy,"

"Says the one who orders Vanilla lattes almost every day,"

"Okay, what's the big deal? I don't understand why _everyone_ has a problem with it,"

"There's nothing wrong with it," Roxas snorted. "Or at least it wouldn't be if you went for Brazilian waxes once a month, counted calories, and wondered 'Does this dress make me look fat, like Oh My G_aw_d?,'"

Axel rolled his eyes, shoving the blonde slightly. "That's sexist,"

"I don't make the rules," he shrugged as he regarded the redhead curiously. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Well I was studying, but you know you're just so much more entertaining," Axel said as he leaned forward with a smirk. "You know, you could keep me company—"

"No," Roxas deadpanned, slipping out from under the arm Axel had slung around his shoulders at one point or another. He backpedaled slightly toward the library entrance. "I have somewhere to be. Besides, I don't want it on my conscious if you fail whatever exams you have coming up. _You _need all the help you can get,"

Axel scowled, glaring at the blonde. "You're no fun,"

Rolling his eyes, "What time are you gonna be done?"

"Uh…I don't know," he answered intelligently, cocking a brow. "Few hours, maybe?"

"I should be free by then," the blonde mused as he glanced down at his phone. He flashed a smile at Axel and the redhead would forever and always deny that his heart might've skipped a beat. He wasn't some teenage girl, dammit. "I'll come pick you up,"

And he certainly didn't need to be picked up like one for their first date. But a date with Roxas, that didn't sound so bad.

"Zexion was talking about going to that new crepe place tonight, anyway, so we can all go," Roxas continued, oblivious to the inner turmoil Axel was going through due to his masculinity being undermined. Really, he should be used to it by now.

"_You're_ gonna to pick _me_ up, Roxy?" Axel inquired with a leer, amusement lacing his words.

"Yeah, Big Foot, you got a problem with that?"

Well Roxas was really just setting himself up for that one. "Well you know what they say about big feet…"

Roxas snorted, "That's a myth,"

"Oh I assure you, Roxy," he took a step forward, smiling slyly at the blonde. "It's no myth,"

"I don't believe you,"

Axel shrugged as he shoved his hands in his pockets, cocking his head to the side slightly, "Guess I'll have to prove it to you then,"

"I'll have to hold you to it," the he said with a smirk, turning on his heel and out the door a moment later. And, honestly, Axel wasn't so sure he was joking—he sure as hell wouldn't mind if he wasn't.

"You okay there, Axel?" the redhead glanced over to Yuna who was sat behind her desk smiling, if not a bit smugly, at him as she twirled a pencil between her fingers.

He mustered up his best smile, quite possibly fueled purely by hope, saluting her, "Dandy,"

-.-.-

Axel huffed as he turned the key to lock the book shop up, glaring when the breath turned to a pale cloud amidst the frigid air. In his opinion, there couldn't be a season more stupid than winter—it had absolutely no point. Sure, there were places where winter was just as nice, if not better, as summer (lucky Florida bastards), but in both Oblivion and Hollow Bastion winter was the equivalent of the bitterest bitches he went to school with, all mushed together in one disgusting, undesirable offspring.

Examining the variety of icicles that hung from awnings, he made his way down the sidewalk, the sound of his Doc Marten clad feet hitting the pavement the only thing that filled the empty air as he passed the many stores on the strip that had either closed early or were never occupied in the first place. Despite the fact that most, if not all, shops and businesses were owned by people generally forty and up, they were more often than not run completely and totally by graduate students. Why? The simple answer being that adults in Hollow Bastian were lazy asses, perfectly willing to exploit college-students desperate for money in the form of hard labor. At least, that's how it was at old man Merlin's bookshop, though things happened in more of a hierarchy there.

Merlin shoved off all the work on Xemnas—his manager and a third-year graduate who Axel found to be a bossy, conceited megalomaniac, but had still managed to form some type of patronizing quasi-friendship with because he tended to tone the asshole down once you got to know him—who may or may not actually do some of the work, depending on how he felt that day. Whatever he didn't do, he would pass off to Xaldin—a particularly burly man with side-burns like hell that would make any woolie mammoth jealous—who would usually do at least half the work, bless his hairy heart, before shoving the rest onto Axel. And that was just the paperwork.

As Axel dreamed of the steaming coffee that would be within reach in mere minutes and the blonde who would be undoubtedly standing behind the counter with some kind of snarky, playful remark, he was met with something cold, solid, and wet.

Staggering back slightly as he wiped off a bit of water that had splattered onto his face, he was certain he'd ran straight into a snowman. But who the fuck built snowmen in the middle of the sidewalk? Axel was fairly sure kids never came around this area, anyway, but, then again, building a snowman sounded pretty fun, even to him. He'd have to remember to mention it to Demyx later.

Either way, he was fairly certain snowmen didn't squeak.

Actually paying to what—or rather who—was before him, Axel was torn between laughing hysterically, because in all honesty, the kid looked like a wet, though admittedly cute, dog, and raging. After all, he was soaking wet in twenty degree weather without a jacket.

"What the hell happened to_ you_?"

Roxas glared, sniffling as he shifted from foot to foot, "I'm wet, my ass hurts, and Larxene is a maniacal bitch,"

Though Axel wanted to ask just how those things related to one another, he was more concerned with the fact that the blonde was dressed in a pair of simple tattered jeans and a heavy, but not heavy enough, hoodie in weather that was clearly cold as all fuck.

"Where's your jacket?" he squawked, already unbuttoning his own. "You're going to get sick!"

"It's not that cold out here," the blonde said as he shifted from foot to foot though he seemed to be holding off quite a bit of pain at the motion, the lie evident in his rosy cheeks and bright red nose. Well, 'tis the season.

Axel rolled his eyes, "You're such an idiot,"

"I'm the idiot?" the blonde questioned, appalled. "You're the one who—"

"Just shut up, kid," Axel commanded as he wrapped his wool jacket around the other, the heavy material falling to mid-thigh. Roxas squirmed.

"Axel I don't need your—"

"I said shut up, Blondie,"

"You're not the boss of me," he pouted, glowering. Axel cocked a brow and gave him a look as if to say '_How_ old are we?' And suddenly Roxas was left wondering just when the hell Axel had become so mature. Axel was the one who was supposed to act like a big dolt and generally be a (welcome) nuisance in the blonde's life; this whole 'mother hen' mode that the redhead now seemed to exalt was slightly disarming.

Then the image of Axel in a frilly pink apron—and dear god why only a frilly pink apron?—was in his head and had the urge to bash his head against a nearby brick wall. Seeing as that would get him a one way ticket to Bastion Asylum, it was a good thing that it was cold enough outside that he could blame his rosy cheeks on the weather and not the image currently being ingrained into his cerebrum.

"Let's go, short stack," the redhead said, taking one of Roxas' hands and leading him down the sidewalk, back to the bookstore's parking lot where his car was parked. Once they arrived, Axel wordlessly opened the passenger side door (to which Roxas grumbled bitterly about 'not being a fucking woman' and made the empty threat of a missing testicle the next time the redhead woke up) before getting in on his side and starting the engine—which purred smoothly, unlike his own piece of shit car, Roxas noted with chagrin.

Maybe Axel started to talk at some point during the short ride back to the dorms. He probably asked what exactly had happened, and would have demanded more of answer than the 'I already told you: Larxene is a fucking bitch' that the blonde would undoubtedly give as a half-assed answered, which would soon be followed by even more threats that would never be filled along with Axel making a mockery of the other. All of this probably would have happened if Roxas hadn't fallen asleep almost immediately after they pulled out of the parking lot.

When Roxas came to however many hours later, he found himself strewn across a couch haphazardly, one arm hanging off the edge awkwardly in the attempts of an angle that his joints refused to conform to, and a leg hooked over the back of the furniture, his sock slipping off his heel. Before him was the familiar scene of his coffee table, littered with various articles and drafts of his essay on modern trending crisis, just three feet away while beyond it on the opposite side of the room sat his TV, blaring with nonsensical, to his still sleep-laden senses, words that spewed from the animated mouths on screen.

"You ever seen Adventure Time?"

Roxas would deny the fact that he might've peed a little.

"Holy _shit_, Axel, don't do that!" he screeched from his seat, now on the floor. He glared up at the redhead heatedly, who only grinned down at him from beside the couch with those stupidly white teeth. They weren't even normal while, they were fucking sterile—Roxas bet he was one of the douchebags who used those whitening strips like five times a days.

"I was just asking a question," he said, amusement lacing his every word though he had the nerve to try and look innocent. It was a failed attempt.

"Yeah, well—" It was right about then, when Roxas had the brilliant idea of standing abruptly—something that would've gone off without a hitch had it been any other day—that he ended up staggering and nearly smashing his knee against the coffee table, saved only by Axel who was quick to pull him into his own orbit and set him right.

As it seemed, it wasn't a normal day, because it felt like cotton had been stuffed into his ears, his brain was quickly expanding, and someone had taken a jackhammer to his temples. And god damn his ankle hurt like a bitch.

"Cool your jets, Kiddo," the redhead commanded as he steered him (the strenuous distance of two feet, the horror) to the couch, forcing him to sit and gather his bearings. "Move around too much and you're going to make yourself even sicker,"

"I'm not sick,"

"Au contraire mon cheri—" Roxas knew for the fact that Axel hardly spoke a lick of French and had only taken it for two years in high school in order to meet the liberal arts' requirements for graduation. "—Because a certain someone decided to be all macho-man and storm into freezing weather, soaking wet, with nothing but a coat, a certain someone has got a nasty little bug and, to top it all off, has a twisted ankle,"

"I don't know what you're on about," Roxas rebutted blandly as he began to push off the couch once more to get to his feet. "I'm fi—"

And then there was the shooting pain up the length of his calf and he was on his butt again, being enveloped by the worn cushions of the couch. All Axel did was stand there and watch with his stupid smirk; the jerk.

"You were saying?"

"What the fuck happened?" he hissed, glaring down at the ankle that was now throbbing with more than just a dull pain as he attempted to ignoring the stinging at the back of his eyes. It fucking hurt, okay? Axel being a concentrated asshole (despite the fact that he had tried to help, this fact conveniently slipping his mind) certainly wasn't helping things.

"You tell me, Roxy," cooed the redhead, mockery hardly concealed. "I didn't notice you limping and you didn't mention anything when I first saw you—I think you're a masochist, by the way—but after I carried you upstairs—Oh, and I might not be able to see all where all that food goes, but holy shit after several floors I can feel it—and got you on the couch, I started to get your shoes off and your ankle was swollen as fuck. It was actually bordering on kind of deformed, but I put some ice on it so hopefully you won't be turning into The Thing anytime soon,"

Roxas stared listlessly for a few seconds, then, "Are you calling me fat?" And before Axel could answer, "I don't know what you're bitching about, you could've just used the elevator. Were you just trying to use carrying me up the stairs as an excuse to feel me up?"

"The elevator is broken, Roxas," Axel said dryly, cocking a brow. And Roxas was too preoccupied in a sudden dawning horror to notice the redhead's shifty eyes, despite the fact that the elevator had, in fact, been broken.

Remembering that the elevators had been broken for approximately two days now after some drunkards stupid pranks, Roxas sunk lower in his seat, feeling like the epitome of ass-hattery. Sure, he was an asshole on a regular basis—in fact, he found it to be a part of a balanced breakfast on most days—but that was expected of him, because that's who he was. Sora was the bright, sunshine-y, so nice it kind of makes you want to punch his teeth out twin, and Roxas was the 'Really really really burnt marsh mellow' twin, as Sora had said at one point or another. 'All dark and scary and gross on the outside, but a loveable blob of goo on the inside'.

What a great brother.

Now, however, Axel had only been trying to help him and, well, Axel was one of the people out of approximately fifteen in his life that Roxas deemed acceptable enough to not receive massive amounts of bitching on a daily basis. Particularly today, when it seemed the redhead had gone far out of his way to help him.

"Sorry," he mumbled, feeling the heat in his cheeks as he stared dumbly down at the couch. Of course he would only notice now that Axel had gone so far as to put a pillow under his head and get him a blanket. God dammit.

"Don't worry about it," he said, grinning as always as he plopped down on the couch beside him and slung an arm around his shoulders. Roxas figured he could be nice, all things considered, and not shove Axel off the couch when he pulled him closer. The warmth did feel nice after all.

"So are you finally going to tell me what happened?"

Roxas furrowed his brow, mouth and tongue already forming the words to ask just what Axel was on about when he remembered his day of arriving at work for his regular shift, being content for a few hours, having not encountered one raging customer so far, and promptly having his bubble popped by one enraged Larxene storming in half an hour late for her shift. She actually flipped a table on the way in, and Roxas remembered feeling a little bit better when it fell to pieces due to the fact that it was going to be thrown out soon, anyway. Still, it had been one of his favorites.

The ten minutes after that had been bathed in the proverbial blood of thousands and resulted in him stumbling along the sidewalk to Axel's work, ridiculously cold with an aching ankle and the hope that the redhead hadn't gotten off early. Which, in retrospect, had been a silly thing considering, despite what time he got off, Axel never failed to swing by Pluto's after his shift had ended and entertain Roxas for the rest of his, often times making himself comfortable perched up on the counter. By now, Tifa, a senior and the top-dog manager (Seriously, that's what it read on her name tag, just as Roxas' read 'under-dog employee'), only rolled her eyes upon seeing the two interacting behind the counter when the blonde was supposed to be getting actual work done, continuing on to the backroom so she could gossip about how cute the two of them were with Selphie. Naturally, said two didn't know about the last part of that.

Roxas slumped further onto the other, "Nothing happened,"

"Oh my god, you're hopeless," Axel cried, throwing his hands in the air.

Three hours later found the dorm of one Roxas Strife in much the same state, only now with a considerably sicker blonde, more than a little pleased redhead, and a coffee table that had collected quite a few bowls of near-empty chicken soup.

For the past thirty minutes they had been watching some show on cartoon network with a talking gumball machine that probably had more anger management issues than Roxas, but in honestly, Axel was more interested in playing with the golden locks of hair sprawled across his chest and Roxas was more interested in examining the interlocking threads of the shirt his companion was wearing because when you're sick it's apparently quite fun to make up the lives of each individual thread that was shoved together whether they liked it or not.

"Hey…" Roxas sniffled suddenly, his attention having drawn upward so he was now peering at Axel. "You're wearing it,"

"Wearing what?" Axel asked with a cocked brow. He leaned forward and, pushing Roxas' bangs out of the way, pressed their foreheads together. And no, he was not looking for an excuse to get close the blonde; he was a little more considerate than that, he was simply checking his temperature to make sure he wouldn't over heat and die. Truly, he was a model citizen—putting his own feelings aside for the well-being of his friend. He deserved a medal or _something. _"You don't feel hot enough to reach delirium,"

Roxas glared, puffing up his cheeks and blowing a raspberry directly in Axel's face, to which the redhead immediately scoffed and pulled away. If he hadn't given up his chances of staying one-hundred percent virus free when he offered himself up as a body heater, he probably would've freaked (fallen off the couch) a little bit more. But as it was, he could only hope he didn't catch whatever Roxas had—besides, cuddling up (because they _were_ cuddling, Roxas just didn't know it yet) with the blonde was kind of worth it…Not like he was taking advantage of his friend's sickness or anything, _no_, he would never do such a thing…

Dear god, he was full of so much shit.

Sniffling and repressing coughs, Roxas sat up slightly and turned over before plopping down again, now facing Axel. The redhead tried to ignore the fact that Roxas was practically—no he was stretched out on top of him, and the way the blonde was tracing his fingertips across Axel's jaw certainly wasn't helping anything. He may or may not have been leaning in toward the blonde when Roxas' movement suddenly stopped and Axel heard the sound of metal being flicked just before something cool smacked against his skin.

"You're wearing it," the blonde repeatedly simply.

Distractedly, his fingers trailed up to the metal contraption that sat at his ears—a stud through the first hole in his ear, connected to a chain that created the trail to the rustic cuff that clamped the cartilage of his upper ear. As he did so many times before he fiddled with the small, spoked wheel that hung from the stud.

"I've been wearing it since you gave it to me," Axel said matter-o-factly. It was true, he's been wearing the detailed earing since Roxas had given it to him on Christmas, taking it off only to sleep and on the occasional Sunday when he went down to the campus gym to workout with Riku.

"Really?" the blonde said, brows furrowed. "Huh. Never noticed,"

"Gee, thanks, Rox. Glad to know that you care enough to actually pay attention every once in a while," he said with a dramatic roll of the eyes. "And here I am offering up my services to a friend in need, free of charge,"

"Like you aren't getting something out of this," Roxas commented off-handedly as he fixed him with a knowing look. For a second, Axel's stomach dropped to his gut at the prospect that Roxas actually knew just how much he was—"You know you're comfy,"

Oh. Well, never mind, then.

"_So_ comfy," the redhead drawled, the stupid smile that was making its way across his face to be blamed on the fact that he had just wrapped his arms firmly around Roxas and all the blond had done in response was snuggle in closer. Maybe he should get Roxas sick more often; homeless person's saliva in his soup here, strain of the common cold in his coffee there—it was fool proof. "Because, you know, I just love having a sick kid on top of me, giving me all his germs. It's like a dream come true,"

Really, Axel would be hard-pressed to find moment when his heart swelled as it did when he could feel the vibrations of Roxas' quiet laughter humming against him.

Definitely needed to go out and find a homeless man tomorrow.

"I bet,"

"I understand that you are overcome with gratification—feel free to kiss the ground I walk on once you feel better. Or become my sex slave. Either one works, really,"

Roxas snorted, prodding the redhead's side, "Fat chance,"

"Oh, you only say that now, Roxy. So young, so naïve,"

"Just stop talking, you're ruining the moment,"

Axel cocked an amused brow. "Oh? I didn't know there was a moment,"

"Yeah, well, there is. The moment in which I fall asleep and you go make me more soup,"

"Like hell," the redhead scoffed.

"And if you don't I'll—" the blonde stopped midsentence, erupting in a fit of nasty coughs that were undoubtedly the result of copious amounts of phlegm in his lungs. Axel patted his back lightly for the short thirty seconds the fit lasted, smirking all the while.

"You'll cough?" he inquired, more than slightly amused, when the blonde finally calmed down.

"Yes. All over you and then you'll get sick and die,"

"But then there'll be no one to take care of you!" Axel exclaimed overdramatically, eyebrows shooting high on his forehead.

"I don't need anyone to take care of me,"

"Oh yeah? Then who's going to make your soup?"

"…Shut up, ass face,"

Axel laughed, ignoring Roxas as the shorter of the two continued to throw insults and glare at him, the two so absorbed that they almost didn't hear the distinct ringing of Roxas' cellphone. Unfortunately, they did, and Roxas was required to wiggle at of Axel's grasp in order to reach the ringing device that seemed to be shoved under the couch. To add insult to injury, it was Axel's most favorite person in the whole mother fucking world to be calling.

"Hey Seifer," the blonde said into his phone as he plopped back into his place atop Axel, who took solace in this and wrapped his arms around the lithe waist once more, whilst glaring at whatever innocent inanimate object his eyes landed on first as if it were the king of douchebags himself. _Take that, bitch_, Axel thought to himself as Roxas adjusted himself slightly until they're bodies seemed to fit together perfectly.

"Wha—_Excuse me_?" the blonde into the phone, a mere increment away from being the screech of a harpy. "Since when are _you _my keeper? And, last time I checked, you're my boyfriend not my father!...I didn't hear my phone, chill! It's not like you actually answer every time I call you…Oh, bullshit! You are full of so much crap—…Call me when you calm the fuck down,"

Axel figured that if it had been five years ago, this would've been the point where Roxas snapped his phone shut angrily, nearly breaking the hinges. But, being as it may, all he could do was angrily stab the 'end' button of his touch screen, which isn't nearly as gratifying as the former. Ah, the downside of technology advancement.

"Everything okay?" he asked hesitantly, though genuinely concerned. Yeah, he might hate Seifer within every inch of his life, but that didn't mean much when Roxas was pouting like now.

"Seifer's just being an ass, nothing new there,"

"I thought you guys were all peaches and cream?"

Roxas was clearly trying to suppress a smile as he looked to Axel to question his word choice when his phone went off again. No that wasn't disappointment he felt as the blonde turned away at lightning speed to answer the damned electronic, he merely had one too many bowls of soup and had to piss.

"I highly doubt you cooled off that quickly," Roxas said, propping his phone on Axel's chest so he wouldn't have to bother with holding it. A roll of his eyes, "Progress…Yeah, I understand…I miss you, too…Oh shit, that's _this_ weekend?...Sei, I'm actually not sure I can make it…I know, and I would be there but—…Seifer, I'm not making up excuses! You know I want to see you, but I can't make it down there this weekend. My temperature is—what was my temperature again, Ax?"

"Uhh…" Axel furrowed his brow, tilting his head back as he tried to remember. "I think it was One-hundr—"

"Why are you saying it like that?" the blonde snapped into his phone, any fuck that was once given about a temperature that could be used as a scapegoat now clearly dissipated. "He's here taking care of me…What the fuck, Seifer, are you serious right now?...I can't believe you sometimes! Do you really think I wou—Oh, _fuck_ you…Yeah, whatever…Whatever you say, Seifer. Bye,"

"Trouble in paradise?" Axel started uncertainly in attempt to lighten the situation. He'd have to be pretty high on the list of dumb-fuckery (And despite popular belief, he was not) in order for him to not catch the jist of Seifer's thoughts. Admittedly, it did cause quite the swell of his ego…or male-pride…something of that general area, but, once again, moody Roxas took priority over his triumphant self-righteousness. As he so dubbed it.

The words that had come out of his mouth that seemed to be lacking a 'things to say when someone just had a fight with their boyfriend that are socially acceptable and will not cause the catastrophic coming of Armageddon' and were probably not the thing that would turn things toward the better, as Roxas looked to Axel with the most seething glare he'd seen in quite a few months.

"Shut the fuck up, Axel,"

Sure, Axel was all concerned about Roxas' well-being and all, but he also didn't take to well to being bitched out when he was only trying to help—no matter how cruddy said help was. "Don't take it out on me just 'cause you're boyfriend's being a fucker,"

And when at some point in time Roxas might've had some snide insult at the ready or simply decked him, he merely relaxed onto Axel with a frustrated sigh. "He is a fucker, huh?"

Axel hummed his agreement, making to rub comforting circles on the other's back. "Coulda told you that from the moment I met him, Roxy,"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I'm so glad this is finally done. That means I get to write the next chapter, which is the chapter I have been waiting to write since FOREVER. I think you guys will like it.

On another note I'm aware that this chapter isn't quite up to par, but next will be better. Having transcendentalism essays drilled into your head for two weeks nonstop doesn't do the best for one's writing ability.

And I'm not really sure if people think the whole Roxas and Axel cuddling thing is weird, but that's how majority of the people I interact with are. It's really not abnormal for friends to be in close proximity like that, especially when they're close like Axel and Roxas are in this.

**Important:** For those of you who review (and it'd be darling if you did, it really does encourage me to write, knowing that people enjoy this and what they think) let me know what side pairings you guys want to see. I'm pretty sure I already know, but give me your input if you'd be so kind.

**Next chapter:** Of propositions, road trips to twilight town, hospitals, families, bonding and Seifer. Losts of character interaction, I'm so excited.

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><p><strong>Anonymous Replies<strong>

**Destry:** Of course I missed you! But I think conversations on DA tide me over (speaking of I still need to reply to your note, OTL). Lolol, your roommates just need to understand that fanfiction stalking is a very serious business and they need to get with the program. Plus, I appreciate the stalking, as long as it's with love. Aw, thanks C: I think writing the relationships of all the characters is one of my favorite parts, and it does get a little complicated sometimes but I think it makes the characters seem a little more three-dimensional along with all the other trivial details I throw in. As always, thanks for your review, and I'm glad you finally received you necklace!

**YourFavorite:** lfjabguawie I'm glad you like it so much. And it still makes me ridiculously (dorkily) happy that someone finds me funny besides myself. My parents don't realize how hilarious of a kid they've been blessed with. IKR? Leon and Cloud just, hnnnng. I used to ship Zack and Cloud like no other, but I've come to my senses (though I do still kind of like it). Fffff, Seifer does need to gtfo. And he will…eventually. OR WILL HE? No, but seriously, he will. Even if it means I have to write him to an untimely death. Psh, your reviews are enough! They always make me so happy C:


	12. Road Trip

**Disclaimer:** The standard sob story of a fan's dream to own their favorite fandom, but the crushing reality that they never will.

**Warning:** Slamming doors, bitter mornings, questionable car rides, boys loving boys. The usual.

**A/N:** I should be punched in the face. I'm sorry for the delay guys, I honestly have any free time. I've been busy with school but on a larger scale tech crew for my school's theatre. Since my last update we've had Beauty and the Beast (fucking monster), our competitive season (highest honor instate sixth year running, whoo), and now we're in rehearsal week for our winter play.

So there's probably plenty of mistakes because I didn't feel like going back and editing and didn't want to make you guys wait any longer. I had to shorten this chapter quite a bit too, but blahlbahlbah okay just read guys. Sorry again for my shitty update times.

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>: Road Trip

* * *

><p>"Eat it!"<p>

"No,"

"Eat. It,"

"Hell. No,"

"It'll make you feel better, though!"

"It can't help a twisted ankle and there's no cure for the common cold,"

"It can heal anything—it's magic!"

"Mom just told you that when we were little so you would actually eat it. If anything, it'll make me feel worse; it tastes like shit,"

"I helped make it this time," a third voice perked up.

"And now I'm definitely not eating it,"

"Damn it, Riku, everyone knows you can't cook!"

"I was just _trying_ to help,"

"You can _help_ by pinning Roxas down so I can force feed him,"

"Do it and I'll press charges,"

"Sorry, Roxas but—"

"Riku stay the hell away from me!"

It was at this point that Axel was violently jolted from his sleep, nearly pissing his pants in the process as a heavy weight came down on his bladder like a blade on an executioner block. "What the fu—"

"Axel I choose you!" Roxas squawked as he attempted to scooch closer to the head of the couch where Axel currently lay, propelling himself with his one good leg and looking every bit of a fish out of water.

"What?" the redhead asked intelligently, voice laced with sleep.

"Flurry attack of awesome!"

"Rox, I don't—"

"Here he comes!"

There was a flash of silver, a moment of aqua eyes, and a series of long limbs—all going entirely too fast in Axel's general direction. Without thinking Axel shot out a foot and received instant gratification a moment later when it connected with something fleshy and quiet 'oomph' foreboding a loud thump to the floor.

"Woah," Roxas said as he leaned over Axel to peak down at Riku who was now curled into the fetal position, arms wrapped around his stomach and face buried in the carpet. "You actually hit him,"

"_Flurry attack of awesome_?" Sora asked skeptically from the kitchen a few feet away, one hand on his hip and the other holding a bowl and spoon. "Really, Roxas?"

"Shut up, I couldn't think of anything else on the spot. Besides, it _worked_ didn't it?" The blonde smirked cruelly, glancing down at the groveling Riku. Sora sighed.

"Return to your pokeball, Riku,"

"Fuck all of you," came the muffled reply.

"You have pretty good reflexes for just waking up," Roxas commented offhandedly. Swinging around, he adjusted himself to sit on the couch semi-properly, tucked into the small crevice between Axel and the back of the couch, one leg folded while the injured one hung over Axel's lap.

"What the hell are you guys doing this early in the morning?" the redhead grumbled as he sat up gingerly, back stiff.

"Actually, it's noon," Sora said matter-o-factly, stepping over Riku to get to the other side of the coffee table where he plopped down. With an impish grin, "But I understand, Roxas is a pretty good cuddle-buddy,"

The blonde rolled his eyes, disregarding his brother completely. "Sora and Riku are conspiring for my death,"

Axel raised a curious brow at the brunet. Still no one paid attention to Riku who groaned and flipped over onto his back.

"I'm trying to cure him!" Sora squawked, thrusting forward the bowl in his hands. Axel peered suspiciously at the greenish-grey goop and (what looked like glowing) chunks that refused to move despite the precarious angle the brunet was tilting the bowl at.

"Sora, you're going to school for architecture, not medicine or culinary arts," Roxas said pointedly. "And Riku certainly isn't little Miss Betty Crocker,"

A single offending finger rose above the edge of the couch from the depths of Riku-filled floor.

"But Grandma Ann's recipe always works!"

"There's a reason we got worse before we got better when we were kids, Sora,"

"But Rox_as_," the brunet whined, flopping over dramatically. The soup (if it could even be called that) didn't slosh around the slightest bit. "You have to get better before we go home!"

"Sora…We don't go home until Spring Break in a _month_,"

"Yeah, but whenever you're sick it lasts for like_ forever_,"

Roxas sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he dropped his head onto the backrest of the couch. Feeling a gentle nudge to his side, he glanced at Axel out of the corner of his eye, "Afternoon,"

"Morning," the redhead said with a small smile as he ran a hand through his hair, fingers snagging on nests of tangles. "Feeling any better?"

"Well, Sora's been here all morning," he said dryly, glaring at the back of his twin's back as the brunet rummaged through the fridge, having returned to the kitchen.

"B'aw, poor Roxy," Axel cooed. He'd been left alone with Sora a total of two times, and it wasn't that he wasn't a good person…he just burned through a lot of topics, really really fast. He was like a cracked up version of Demyx, only a whole lot more sunshine-y, complete with rainbows, butterflies, and puppy dog shit. But Axel figured Roxas had put up with it for 18 years and had built up enough defensives to it.

"Yeah, woe is me. You had the pleasure of being lost in dream land while I was physically assaulted by Sora and his lapdog,"

"I'm not against harming the injured, Roxas," Riku grumbled.

"Empty threats, Riku-dear,"

"Why didn't you just wake me up?" Axel asked as he finally gave up on any attempts at detangling his hair and settled on pulling it into a ponytail. It might be girly but it was damn effective—besides, he liked to think that is other oh so manly attributes offset the femininity of the hairdo.

"You were up all night taking care of me," Roxas shrugged. "You needed to sleep. I could've taken care of myself just fine, though,"

"Admit it, Rox, you like me playing doctor,"

"Whatever, you giant tampon,"

"You know, I don't understand where you get half your insults from,"

"You're tall, hence the giant, and your hair is red, hence the tampon. You're a giant used tampon,"

"That's sick," Riku said from the floor, though the grin was evident in his voice. Axel snorted.

-.-.-

A week and a half later found Roxas back at work, accompanied by the supposed 'bodyguard' that had been forcibly pushed on him. Bodyguard in the form of a 6'1", green-eyed, red-haired, bumbling circus clown turned chemistry major, of course.

"Axel, seriously, you can go home now," Roxas said for the umpteenth time as he reloaded beans into one of the coffee machines. "Or better yet, your job, you have one of those, right?"

"I'm off today," the redhead said, glancing over a page in his magazine. Roxas added 'reading Cosmopolitan' to his list of evidence that Axel was secretly a woman.

"Of course you are," the blonde snapped. It was one thing for Axel to keep him company at work, but he didn't need to be fucking babysat. "Look, Axel, Larxene's been in the backroom since I got here and even if she comes out, I can handle her myself. I'm not a girl and I don't need you to act like my fucking knight in shining armor. She was suspended for a week, she's on probation for the next three months, and she got her pay docked—I think she learned her lesson,"

"She should've been fired," Axel grumbled bitterly.

"She probably would've been if we weren't understaffed—however the hell that happens on a college campus."

"It still doesn't give her an excu—"

"Axel, give it up already. It's not like she went out of her way to hurt me. She didn't just come up to me and go 'Hulk Smash!'"

"I know that much. Larxene is a woman despite numerous scientific doubts, so it'd be more of a 'She-Hulk Smash'" he said, internally cringing at his own lame joke. But it got Roxas to smile. "You never did tell me what happened that day,"

"For the last time—"

"Tell me and I'll leave for an hour,"

"Larxene came in pissed off and stuff and then she was all 'GRAH' and yeah," the words had spilled out in an instant and a second alter he was pointing toward the door with the pleasant smile he reserved for customers. "Now, leave,"

"Insufficient explanation, my ass is staying planted on this counter,"

"Your nasty butt juice is going to get all over it," Roxas stated, frowning.

"You like my nasty butt juice," he drawled, wiggling his eyebrows. "And as much as I'd love to discuss anal excretion with you, my dearest Foxy Roxy—"

"I will cut you,"

"—Because that is clearly the highlight of my day, you're changing the topic," Flicking the blonde in the head: "Speaketh!"

Roxas rolled his eyes as he began to wipe down the cash register a little more rigorously than was necessary. "Basically, Larxene came in pissed off and shit because her boyfriend dumped her for some other chick. So then she was storming around and apparently it took entirely too much energy to ask me to move, so instead she shoved me into the counter where I ended up falling on the floor and knocking two gallons of water on myself,"

"That sucks and I'll do the proper amount of bitching for her being a cantankerous whore in a minute but first: Who the hell would date Larxene?"

"Some guy with pink hair—used to stop by a lot. I'm actually surprised you never ran into him…I think his girly hair balanced out Larxene's manly tendencies, actually," Roxas said, adding the last part on thoughtfully.

"Pink hair?" For sanity's sake, Axel hoped there was another man on earth who was crazy enough to dye their hair pink. Repeatedly and without failed to the point where one would think that was said man's natural hair color. He did a hell of a job convincing people that it was.

Roxas hummed in confirmation before moving from behind the counter to go about wiping down tables, save for the one in the back corner occupied by a meek student who sat with large headphones engulfing their ears as they smashed endlessly at the keys of the laptop before him. "Spring Break's in two weeks," he commented after a few minutes in silence, a not so discrete change of the topic. Axel decided not to mention it.

"About damn time," he, grumbled as he rested his head on the counter.

Roxas rolled his eyes as he returned to his place behind the counter, tossing the rag over his shoulder into the sink. Axel would've accused him of being of show off had he not been too lazy to so much as move his mouth after finding that the counter was, in fact, the most comfortable place in the fucking world. To his exhausted body it was, at least, having stayed up until 4 a.m. the previous day finishing assignments for classes because he was under the impression that he would have to work today. Right as he was leaving his dorm and promising Zexion to return with some sort of junk food from the nearby gas station his phone has rang and Xemnas informed his that he would not, in fact, be required to show up for slave labor.

And, being that he had already chugged two cups of coffee and an energy drink in hopes of actually staying awake while on the job, sleep was not an option—which posed the chance to harass Roxas with the excuse that he needed to protect the blonde from the big bad Larxene. What was potentially productive when there was a hot blonde to woo and hopefully steal away from an egregiously pompous boyfriend?

But, as was with all fool-proof plans, it had yet to come to fruition before he was hit with a wave of exhaustion—what was commonly known as an energy crash or, among college students, the spawn of Satan.

Now Roxas was actually attempting to have a civil conversation without being a moody bitch (not that Axel necessarily minded, he suspected himself of being a masochist after knowing Roxas for this long) and he was too fucking tired to give some kind of witty response and charm him with his infallible charm. The universe was a pimp and Axel was apparently it's ho to throw around at will.

"Going anywhere?" The blonde asked, leaning casually against the counter.

Axel snorted. "You know, senior year all I was looking forward to was partying up during spring break in college. But, no, I think I'm going to sit my ass in the dorms and sleep. I deserve it,"

"Because you've been working _so hard_,"

"Damn skippy,"

"Well would you want to go somewhere with me?" the blonde asked as he lifted himself onto the counter, ass landing dangerously close to Axel's face. He took a moment to admire said ass (even if most of it was smashed against the counter, he would take what he could get) before lifting his gaze to meet striking azure eyes.

"Honeymoon before the wedding?"

"Last time I checked, gay marriage was illegal here,"

"We can go to Canada,"

A cocked brow. "I have a boyfriend,"

"He doesn't have to know,"

Roxas laughed, shoving the redhead gently. "Seriously, how does two weeks in Twilight Town sound?"

"Bringing me home to me the parents already, Rox? You know say you have a boyfriend, but this is starting to sound suspicious,"

"Shut your fucking face hole, do you want to come or not?" he snorted.

"Why of course, Blondie," Axel smirked, quirking a brow. "But why?"

"Well, you've always lived in the city, even here is so urbanized, and you need to experience the world some more,"

"That, my dear Roxy, is a load of bullshit,"

"…I don't want to be alone in a car with Sora and Riku for four hours straight. And if you care about them and value their lives, you shouldn't want that to happen either, because I cannot be held responsible for any of my actions while under undue amounts of stress,"

"Tell me how you really feel," the redhead drawled sarcastically as he sat up, propping his chin on the heel of his hand. "That's nice and all, but what's in it for me?"

"Are you shitting me?"

"I shit you not,"

Roxas groaned, tilting his head back as he cast Axel a scornful look through the corner of his eyes.

"Plus," Axel continued. "What am I going to do once we get there and you ditch me for your boyfriend?"

"He doesn't really know that I'm coming," Roxas said, eyes downcast as he began to trace his finger over the grains in the wood. "We haven't talked since that night," And strangely enough, he couldn't bring himself to give a damn.

"He hasn't tried to call you or anything?" he asked, brow furrowed.

"Tried once the day after; he gets like this though, when we get into fights," And usually it was him who called Seifer constantly or showed up at his house trying to make amends, even when he had nothing to be sorry for.

"Do you guys fight a lot?"

Roxas shrugged, then added before Axel could pry any more into the dysfunction of his relationship, "What makes you think I would just ditch you like that? I know I can be ass but jeez, Ax,"

"People do crazy things when they're in love," Axel said. He was taken aback, however, when Roxas laughed.

"I'm not in love with Seifer," the blonde said somewhat sardonically as he raked a hand through his golden spikes. "Maybe once upon a time in a far off land, but not anymore. I still like him and all but…I don't know,"

Axel snorted, reaching over to ruffle his hair. "Don't put too much thought into, Rox, it's not worth it,"

"So do you wanna come?"

"I suppose," the redhead sighed overdramatically. "I still want something in return, though. Sexual favors are acceptable,"

-.-.-

There was something to be said to waking up to the chirping of birds and light filtering slowly through the window, illumination dust moats that hung in the air. The entire day was ahead of you and you were content with the knowledge that there was no pressing matter to force you out of bed. There was no rush in the time you had ahead, and because of that you were free to laze about and actually enjoy your surroundings.

Axel loved such mornings. Unfortunately, he could count the number of first-hand experiences with them on one hand, and today didn't make the cut.

Today was one of those days where you knew it was going to be shit the moment you opened your eyes. There was just that foreboding feeling about him as the blinding lights shot through the graffiti by means of obscene words quotes via permanent marker (_Thank you, Demyx_) covered window with a vengeance that seemed to have transformed them into laser beams. His body felt heavy, there was something sharp and certainly not meant to be in his bed stabbing him in the side, and he was fairly certain he felt dried drool cracking on his skin as he yawned, promptly disgusted by his own morning breath.

It seemed that even while in a subconscious dreamland he could sense danger before it hit and his brain woke him up a moment later so he would have at least a few moments to mentally prepare himself for what was laying ahead. Of course he did not take the proper path of self-preservation because he didn't know he had anything to preserve himself from.

Had he had any sense of calendar dates or desire to remember them on a day-to-day basis, he would have realized that today was the twenty-ninth of February. Had he any sense of planning ahead he would have marked the day on his calendar with the utmost precision and the largest red marker he could find (figuratively speaking, of course, because no one really used paper calendars anymore, what with the ease of just programming a date into your phone). Had he any sense of mind, he would've woken up two hours earlier on the morning of that twenty-ninth and be in parking lot across campus or already on the road, getting a head-start on what would be a four hour trip.

If he had done any of the above, he would've at least some chance at having a decent morning and saving himself from the horror that lay beyond. Horror in the form of a 5'5", temperamental short-stack with entirely too much pent up rage and aggression to be healthy.

Hell, had he simply hid under the bed when he heard the front door slam open and Zexion's mumble of "in his room" he would've been able to postpone is desecration by a few moments. But, as they say, might as well do it sooner or later. The oncoming doom could be sensed even before the dramatic entrance and heavy footsteps thundering down the hall. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Axel figured that the blonde was trying to make a dramatic entrance because no one sounded like that even with hell at their heels unless they were a solid 280.

The door to Axel's bedroom opened with an angry bang and the doorknob hitting the adjacent wall with enough force that would certainly leave a large gaping hole. What was of more concern, however, was Axel's testicles and the way in which the enraged blonde standing in the doorway was currently planning on removing them.

Without so much as a hello, Roxas was beside the full bed, ripping the mess of sheets and blankets from Axel's body despite the awkward and somewhat painful way he was wrapped in them. Refusing to stop there, he yanked the redhead out of bed and the few steps down the hall to the bathroom, where he promptly shoved the man into the shower and turned on the water with a vengeance without a care for what temperature it was set at. It just so happened to be as cold as Roxas' heart that particular morning.

With half his brain asleep and the other half awake enough to fear for the injuries that would ensue if he pissed Roxas off in the current hour, Axel showered in silence, not even bothering to turn the water to a more appropriate temperature but with enough common sense to remove the pajama pants he had still been warning when he had been thrown in. His gentle nature and continuing nonresistant compliance wasn't enough, apparently, as the presence of a certain midget in the bathroom five minutes later silently declared. When the black and grey striped shower curtain was nearly removed from the rod as it was opened visciously, Axel jumped bag with a silent gasp of horror and a useless attempt to cover his privates with his loofa. Ahem, hand towel. Definitely a hand towel and not a lavender loofa. And if it was a loofa he certainly hadn't bought it for himself—it had been a present from Demyx on his birthday.

"Unless you're attempting to hide some mutated vagina-penis hybrid, you don't have anything I haven't seen before," Roxas hissed his first words of the morning with the possible origin of the 'bitch please' look on his face. "Now I would suggest you be in the living room dressed within the next two minutes unless you want to be dragged out of the dorms naked,"

And with that he was gone again, closing the bathroom door behind him in a surprisingly human fashion.

Precisely one minute and thirty-seven seconds later, Axel emerged from the bathroom dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved Henley which Roxas had left for him in the bathroom. Tying his still-wet hair in a loose ponytail, he continued into the living room to find Zexion and Roxas talking amongst themselves on the couch, undoubtedly planning his ultimate demise. Not two steps across the plush carpet, the two students turned to face Axel, Roxas with the same irritation he had worn earlier, though watered down considerably, and Zexion with a quirk of amusement.

"Let's go," the blonde said dryly, getting to his feet and making his way toward the front door where Axel's suitcase (which Roxas had, apparently, finished packing, because Axel sure as hell didn't remember doing so) sat neatly. It was then that Axel decided that his first mission of the day would be to get some coffee into Roxas' body, seeing as the blonde clearly was lacking if his less than stellar nature was any sign, and the life or death status of everyone who would be in the car for the next four hours depended on his caffeinated status.

"You got it, Roxy," he chirped with a shit eating grin, tossing a waggle of his fingers over his shoulder to Zexion who managed to laugh.

-.-.-

Axel was seriously revising his decision to accompany the Villair twins and look-at-my-pretty-fucking-hair-man on their road trip back home. Sure, it was more time with Roxas, but was it really worth it? He would have the rest of the year, and they saw each other nearly every day, and it wasn't like he was really that needy of the bitch. Sure, he acted like it, but that was mostly to get a rise out of Roxas.

"Don't you ever talk about him again with your skanky mouth!"

He sure by the end of the trip—hell, the drive to Twilight Town, he would have suffered through some time of mental damage or head trauma by means of random flying shoe. Sora had already thrown both of his; luckily, he had shitty aim.

"He's a shitty actor, and the movie is even worse,"

Maybe he could put hidden cameras in the house when he got there and somehow wire everyone then sell the footage to MTV for their newest reality TV show. It'd make a shit ton of money as long as the three of them were involved, and Riku had been grumbling earlier about his brothers being home for spring break, as well. It would be all kinds of psycho, homicidal bullshit—just the kind of stuff the public liked.

"That's it, Riku! I'm going to fucking castrate you—I don't even care about the sex, it's not that good anyway!"

"SORA! Keep your hands on the wheel!" Roxas shouted as he tried to pull his brother back into the front seat with one hand and keep the car from running into a ditch with the other. The brunet had more stock in trying to choke out his boyfriend in the back seat and continued kicking and screaming and clawing as Riku slapped his hands away, diving to Axel's side of the car and crushing the redhead against the window.

Giving up on his brother, Roxas gave a quick 'fuck it' before climbing over the storage compartment between the two seats and plopping into the previously occupied driver's seat. He sat on the edge, careful to avoid the flailing feet of Sora who was more than half way into the backseat and stabbing Riku viciously with his pointy-nun fingers. "Axel, would you mind helping out?" the blonde snapped distractedly as he quickly steered back into the proper lane, glancing out the side mirror every few moments. If there had been more cars around, they certainly would've been dead by now.

"A little preoccupied," Axel managed through a hiss of pain. Glancing through the rearview mirror, he found that the redhead was, indeed, preoccupied. Preoccupied with having his face flattened against the handle of his door by Riku who was sitting atop the man, back to the window and using a foot on Sora's chest to keep the brunet away.

Roxas groaned, returning his eyes to the road and searching the green signs for the nearest exit. Not three minutes later the screaming had gotten louder and he was pulling into the side lot of a gas station. Now, he had two options: The common option, to join the screaming match and try to get the banshees in the backseat to shut up, or, the less traveled path, though much more effective. He slammed on his brakes, taking sick pleasure in hearing a body hit the floor, a head crack against the window, and a second body land atop the other on the floor in a less than comfortable position.

Before Roxas got so much of a chance to turn around and lecture them all on the manners that one upheld while someone else was driving (a lecture he been given far too many times as a child, he finally understood the hell he put his parents through once he was forced to drive a car with a hyperactive Sora), a meek voice spoke up in the back.

"…Sorry. I mean the movie _is_ pretty shitty, but I guess he isn't that bad of an actor," the silver-haired man murmured.

"Me too. I should've realized by now that your musical and theatrical tastes are less than up to par, and it's my duty to introduce you to the greater good of the world," Sora said, propped atop Riku's waist with a teasing smile. A moment later they were kissing, which soon turned to a heavy bout of making out, which resulted in Roxas screaming at them to take their hormones into the STD-filled bathroom of the gas station.

"That was...interesting," Axel asked shortly after the couple had left the car as he climbed to the front seat. Plopping down, he lowered the visor and proceeded to check the abused side of his face in the mirror, closing it with satisfaction when there was lack of a bruise.

"Please, this is only the beginning," Roxas snorted. "Better prepare yourself, Flamer,"

-.-.-

Two hours and only half the expected injuries later, Roxas ripped the key out of the ignition and stumbled out of the car with a deep, refreshing breath and the urge to kiss the asphalt of his parent's driveway. Had he not wished to maintain a certain amount of pride, he probably would've. Sora, however, had no inhibitions and promptly threw himself to the ground with a cry of "Home sweet home!"

If there wasn't the imminent threat of his brother whining and complaining almost immediately, Roxas probably would've kicked him. Being as things were, he'd had enough useless noise for the day and was perfectly content with the idea of peace and quiet until he awoke the next morning. The fact that this was his parent's house put quite a damper on things, as this wasn't the best place to ask for 'peace and quiet'. They were loud enough on their own, and the intricate chrome motor bike parked in driveway signaled the presence of at least one of his aunts, the one who he wouldn't be surprised to find wrestling with his father upon walking in the house.

The sooner they got this over with the better, and luckily Riku had hauled Sora to his feet by the back of his shirt and was already unloading the suitcases from the trunk. Which left only one.

"Come on, Axel, move your ass," the blonde called to the only remaining patron of the car. Said patron groaned, flopping over dramatically in the backseat.

"But Rooooooxas, I'm battered and broken. And tired. And—"

"Stop whining and get out of the car," Roxas snapped.

"Well then," the redhead huffed indignantly as he reluctantly complied, stretching his arms high above his head a revealing a sliver of pale stomach and the beginnings of sharp hip bones once he was out on the driveway with the rest. It was admittedly difficult to look away and Axel seemed to notice, a knowing smirk gracing his features as he allowed his arms to drop at his side. Roxas contemplated throwing a suitcase at him.

Instead, he decided to be the bigger person and marched his way over to his own suitcase and roughly snatching the retractable handle out from it's hallow space within. Axel followed suit, gathering his things and trailing the blonde up the driveway to the front porch where Riku and Sora already stood, the former with a look of pure amusement and the latter with something similar, though it seemed to be mixed with a sizeable amount of worry. Which, of course, was expected when there were cries of bloody murder and the sound of breaking class coming from within the light blue house.

Roxas couldn't help but grin at the unsettled look Axel cast him as the older student shifted from foot to foot. "And this is when the real fun starts,"

The front door slammed open.

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><p>AN: So next chapter will be meet the family, probably some AkuRoku (finally, ahaaaa), possibly some Cloud and Leon, Seifer, and a whole new crew of characters (FinalFantasyXIII/coughcough)  
>REAL THINGS HAPPENING NEXT CHAPTER WHAT?<p>

Sorry again for the wait guys, I'm determined to make sure the next will be out sooner.** And thank you guys for your continuous support through alerts, favs, and reviews, ahmygod you guys motivate me so much /weeps**

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><p><strong>Anonymous Replies:<strong>

**Demyx Puppy: **Yes, there will be Zemyx without a doubt! I'm still trying to figure out where I can work it in more besides some brief glimpses, so they might end up like Cloud and Leon in the sense that they'll have short little snippets throughout the fic :D

**Destry: **STUFF WAS GOING TO GO DOWN. And then this kind of turned into a filler chapter/I need to get some shit laid down for the real plot to start ahhh /cry. ak,jdgn I'm so happy the speed of the relationship is okay, I don't want it to be like"HOPONTHISDICK" but I don't want anyone getting irritated that it 's going too slow. STUFF IS GOING TO START PICKING UP VERY SOON THOUGH...sssshhhhh.

**Your Favorite: **MY UPDATES ALWAYS TAKE SO LONG /cries. But I will always love you guys, no matter how much school kicks my butt. ahhhhh falisghaiuwhgiwaeg everything about your reviews I don't even you're just a total sweetheart I don't even ahhhhhhhhh. ILOVEYOFACETOO. I'm so glad you like this so much, I don't even. Fffffff. I've since perfected the art of 'stay up till 2 a.m. trying to get homework done but not getting anything done, but still getting honors rank of 21 out of 600' AHHHAA I'M SUCH A SUCCESSFUL SLACKER /weeps. I lab chu too bby ; A ;

**Strawberry-wolf01: **This is an update, mmmkay? No, ma'am, you're awesome. YOU GO GLENN COCO. (MeanGirlsreferencewhat.)


	13. Meet the Jetsons

**A/N**: And we're back for another chapter! In this installment of 'Obviously', the author revealed that she lied in the previous chapter about there being Seifer and possible Cleon among other things in this chapter, simply because this one got too damn long.

You guys should thank the fact that this chapter is out on the fact that my allergies are acting up and I fell down the stairs to the theater yesterday and twisted my ankle (Iamsuchaclutzomfg) so I stayed home today. ANYWAYS, I know this has taken a while again but fff hope you guys enjoy it anyway.

IN OTHER NEWS THIS THING'S ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY IS IN THREE DAYS /weeps

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><p><strong>Chapter 13:<strong> Meet the Jetsons

Cloud Strife was a man of few words, a short temper if you pushed the right buttons, and a relatively level head most days—so he liked to think. He had grown immune to average, day to day annoyances after being raised side by side with his twin cousins who made a habit out of plotting against him and a younger sister who had kept her plotting under wraps until his high school years where he went on many a date against his will. Then there was his parents, one of which made it her daily goal to piss the other off, something that she always did successfully. The sanest one out of the motley crew was probably his Aunt, though her husband often had the some of the same irritating tendencies as his mom and his Aunt had a no bullshit tolerance, no matter how sweet she appeared to be on the outside.

So, yes, Cloud was practically immune to the annoyances that were his family members, or had at least tricked himself into believing he was. In all actuality, he had just made it a habit of shoving metaphorical cotton in his ears. But it was still nice to have the house to himself every once in a while.

Despite the fact that most people saw him as a tall and intimidating 'I-eat-kittens' sort of person, he liked to sing in the shower like a fifteen year old girl. And that's exactly what he did each and every time. He belted out the lyrics to whatever trashy pop song that had been blaring from the radio on his drive down to Twilight Town, because the station he had been listening to seemed to be under the impression that there were only three songs in existence.

As he sung, scratching shampoo across his scalp and through thick golden locks, he failed to notice the slight whining of hinges as the bathroom door was opened and the quiet padding of feet across the tile floor. Only when the shower curtain was violently ripped open did he do much of anything.

And that consisted of screaming bloody murder and falling against the back shower wall, using his arms to brace himself and doing nothing to cover up his manhood. Unfortunately, the lecherous silver-haired man before him dropped his gaze southward almost instantly before glancing back up to wink at Cloud.

"Real nice, babe." The man drawled, green eyes glimmering with mirth. Cloud lunged.

The two had grown up together, however, and Cloud's tactics were more than predictable to the other man who quickly skipped backwards and ducked out of the room. He snatched up the suitcase left outside the.

"Dammit, Kadaj!" Cloud roared, attempting to wrap a towel around his waist as he sprinted down the stairs after the other man. He never was one to bring clothing into the bathroom with him, stripping in his bedroom beforehand and getting dressed afterwards in the same fashion, but regretted it now that Kadaj had his wardrobe for the next week with him in the suitcase he dragged roughly.

"You're back and you didn't even come visit!" Kadaj shouted over his shoulder, knocking over a coffee table as he ran by in an attempt to block Cloud's path. "This is your punishment!"

The blond leaped over the furniture just barely, towel slipping slightly as he did so. He felt his heel clip something and the shattering of glass was cringe-worthy. "I got back at like 1 a.m.!"

"Excuses!" Kadaj finally reached the front door, ripping it open and sprinting out into the blinding afternoon sun. Cloud had long since given up on any sense of humility, but began to form a plan of torture for being forced to practically go streaking. On the college campus it was one thing, but through the quiet, suburban streets of Twilight Town was an entirely different situation. What if Little Old Merryweather and her crazy sisters saw him? They'd never objected to throwing rocks at him before and certainly wouldn't hold back now, given actually reason to this time.

And then there was the problem of his cousins and co. standing on the front stoop.

"Hey, Cloud," Roxas greeted, smug smile on his smug little face. Kadaj seemed to have already barreled through them and was having a bit of trouble getting through the grass. Cloud took comfort in knowing that if any patches came up missing, Aunty Serah would have no restraints or regrets when killing the silver-haired man. Sure, Kadaj's father might be slightly upset, but the blonde's mom was usually pretty good at handling him.

He gave a stiff nod to his cousin, conjuring possible bribes that would ensure the sealed lips of the group, before turning a steely gaze to Riku who was smirking just as smugly as Roxas. Fuckers. "I hope you aren't too attached to you brother," And with that he was off, one hand fastened tightly on the towel at his waist as he chased after Kadaj who was making his way down the sidewalk like a madman.

"That was Cloud's butt," Sora muttered back on the porch, dazed after he stared after his cousin who's towel had slipped as he leaped from the porch.

"It was, indeed," Roxas nodded solemnly beside his brother, staring off in the same direction. After a few moments of silence he turned abruptly and lugged his suitcase through the still open front door. "It's gotten pasty,"

"I told him he needs to stop holing himself in his apartment all the time," Sora said matter-o-factly as he followed behind his brother. "He needs to get some sun! A tan!"

"I don't know how well people will take to him walking around naked for _that _tan to happen,"

"No one seems to be objecting now," Riku drawled as he slipped off his shoes. Roxas laughed, turning to respond when he noticed Axel's thoroughly confused look.

"Cloud's our cousin, the one in the towel. The cackling , psycho-maniac was one of Riku's older brothers: Kadaj," he explained.

"I can see the resemblance," Axel nodded, because, really, it was almost freaky how similar they looked. The same moonlit locks and aquamarine eyes—the only real difference seemed to be the different cheek bones, Kadaj's more narrowed eyes and slightly thinner lips.

Riku huffed as if being born into his family had been the bane of his existence. Hell, it might've been. They could've performed some creepy voodoo shit on him all throughout his childhood since he was the youngest—that would explain why he was such an egotistical asshole now (not that Axel could talk). In reality, Riku was just looking for the love he never had but because of the trauma he had been subject to as a child, he came off as having an abrasive and arrogant exterior. Underneath it all, there was still a small child hugging a worn rabbit stuffed animal—his only friend—and crying, waiting for someone to pull him from the darkness.

And Axel just so happened to eat bullshit for breakfast and spew it randomly throughout the day.

"At least they're all attractive," Sora chirped, earning a glare from Riku that was easily ignored. "Imagine how badly it would suck if you had to deal with them harassing you all the time _and_ have to look at their hideous faces!"

"Yeah, just think how I feel," Roxas said with a small smirk.

"Hey!" Sora squawked indignantly. Roxas only laughed, grabbing Axel by the wrist and pushing past the brunet who stood in the empty doorway that allowed entrance into the rest of the house.

"Come on, I'll show you the rest of the house. Mom and Dad should be around her somewhere, too,"

Axel felt his heart jump at the prospect of meeting the blonde's parents. He had never been particularly good with people's families, not because of a lack of trying or the incapability to put on a fake, charismatic smile, but because his flaming spikes, piercings, and tattoos came into view, they generally made up their mind in the direction of Axel being a hazard, no good for their son or daughter.

"This is the living room, nothing special here," Roxas said, motioning in the general direction of the room the entryway opened up into. Axel got the distinct feeling that this wasn't going to be a tour, as much as a point and state the obvious before continuing on their merry way. Before he was dragged along, he got glimpses of picture frames on the opposite wall, a mounted plasma TV, a grey couch in the shape of an 'L', and a staircase that split the wall it was pressed against in half.

Then they were in the kitchen, a bright burgundy color adorning the walls along with chrome appliances and finishing. It was here that the blonde released his grip (much to Axel's disappointment—the blonde's hands were surprisingly soft, something he had been too distracted to notice all other times or was too busy nursing a new bruise after being slapped or punched to notice) and made a bee line around an island to the fridge where a note was attached with a round blue magnet.

"_Dear Cloud_," Roxas read under his breath, "_Claire and I have gone out to the store and taken our charges—" _he snorted at this—"_with us so they don't break anything or send you on a homicidal rampage. Should be back by 5. Love, Aunty Serah_,"

Turning to face the redhead who had taken to examining the kitchen, he glanced at the stovetop clock. "My parents won't be back for another half an hour, my aunts are with them, too,"

Axel sighed in relief, not as discretely as he had hoped, apparently.

"Are you nervous?" Roxas laughed mockingly.

Axel frowned. He had every right to be nervous; there was a high possibility that he would return to Hollow Bastion missing a left nut, considering this was Roxas' parents he was dealing with. If they didn't like him, it was plausible that they would just seek to exterminate him permanently, considering the blonde's own violent tendencies. Then again, it was Sora's parents, too. Maybe Roxas was the black sheep of the family and everyone else was going around handing each other handfuls of sunshine with sides of love, peace, and happiness. Or maybe they were nothing like either of their children and were instead some form of mad scientists who dissected the brains of everyone the twins brought home so they could implant a chip that would—

"Axel!"

He jumped and glanced at the blonde who was standing with his hand on his hip and an amused smile tugging at his mouth. "You don't need to be nervous," he said in a surprisingly reassuring tone. Axel shrugged. "And who cares if they don't—they hardly put up with Seifer as it is. One of my Aunt's 'accidently' knocked him unconscious when I first brought him home,"

Ignoring the oddity of being compared to the blonde's boyfriend and making a mental note to befriend whatever aunt who had done the world a great justice so they could plot against Seifer at a later date, he muttered, "But I want them to like me,"

"Well then they will. You don't have anything to dislike—except for being hella annoying, but we deal with my Dad and you're not nearly as bad as him," he joked. Axel rolled his eyes, ruffling the shorter man's hair.

"Whatever you say, Rox,"

"Wanna see my room?"

Axel nodded and found himself being led into the living room and to the staircase behind the couch. A few steps creaked under their weight and the railing groaned slightly when Axel grabbed for support after nearly face planting. As they reached the second floor, the shouting of Sora could be heard along with the sound of a videogame being played and Riku laughing in a sinister fashion every few minutes, presumably whenever he beat Sora in a round of whatever game they were playing.

Roxas took a left away from the noise and continued to the end of the hall where a large window was placed instead of another wall. Just before said window were two doors on either side of the wall, one white and one black. Roxas opened the black door as he did so many times growing up in the house.

If Axel had to guess, he'd say the walls were a deep, almost metallic grey, a guess based on the only strip of wall that was uncovered in the corner. Other than that all vertical surfaces were covered with everything from newspapers clippings and old advertisements to photographs and posters. A desk was set up in the corner, shelves filled with countless books that reached the veiling and a whiteboard strapped to the side covered in illegible writing in various colors. The bed was made up perfectly, as if it had been a part of a hotel, black comforter tucked neatly underneath the queen sized mattress and numerous checkered pillows fluffed and sat upright against the iron headboard.

"So this is where little Roxy did all his time angsting," Axel let out a low whistle, eyes roving about the room. He examined a plaque on the wall about the '25th annual struggle tournament'—whatever the hell that was. Apparently, Roxas had gotten first place.

"I was _not_ angsty," Roxas retorted as face-planted onto his bed, nearly moaning at the sensation. The spring mattresses the university tried to pass of as humane didn't have anything on foam beds.

Besides the plaque was a photo of what Axel guessed to be a 16-year-old Roxas besides another boy with wavy, dirty blonde hair that was partially gelled back. He had an arm thrown around Roxas and the two were sweating, both grinning like mad men and brandishing blue bats in their hands.

"So you're just making up for it now then?" he asked, glancing over at Roxas with a grin, only to be pelted in the face with something large, black, and incredibly soft. Roxas sat perched on his haunches atop the bed, glaring playfully.

"Not angsty,"

"Right, just homicidal—my bad," the redhead said as he leaned down to pick up the offending trajectory, half expecting Roxas to have thrown a live cat at him. But in his hands was now a plush toy about the size of his head with round, plastic yellow eyes that stared unwavering and spiraling antennas, sticking out from its head. On the left side of its chest was a red dotted outline of a heart. "A _heartless_ toy? I haven't seen one of these in forever,"

"It couldn't have killed you," the blonde stated defensively against the homicidal comment. He never meant to kill anyone—just severely maim.

Axel raised a brow, arriving at the bed in two quick strides and plopping down beside the other. He gave a small smirk. "It could've stole my heart," _If you hadn't already—_What, no. No. Axel mentally slapped himself; even he refused to be that damn cheesy.

Roxas snorted. "You are so lame,"

"Says the one with a heartless toy," Axel shot back.

"Shut up," the blonde fell on his back against the pillows and pouted. And pouted. Pouted. Holy shit if Axel's brain wasn't having trouble registering the expression on Roxas and all plausible ways it would be Sora in disguise because the blonde simply didn't pout and Axel suspected it was on account of little man syndrome which produced the need to come off as rugged and manly and—

Well, if Axel had been functioning properly he would either be sporting a broken nose and rib or Roxas would give in to his advances rather than doling out some bodily harm after he jumped in. He supposed his lapses in brain activity every now and then came in handy for once, considering the former was highly unlikely to happen.

Roxas snatched the heartless from Axel and held it up, looking as professional as one could while holding a children's toy and was about to explain exactly why he still had such a thing when the front door slammed opened downstairs and someone shouted into the house. "Munchkins!"

The blonde dropped everything and leapt off the bed, disappearing through the doorway and down the hall at what seemed like lightning speed. Axel listened as the footsteps grew faint, stopped somewhere near the staircase, and started up again, this time increasing in volume.

"Why are you just sitting there?" Roxas asked impatiently, now bouncing on the balls of his feet in the doorway.

Axel quirked a brow, "I don't—"

"Let's go!" With all the energy of Sora (maybe they really had swapped), the blonde yanked him from the bed and had him trailing behind by a tightly squeezing hand on his, leading the conquest to the lower level.

Gracing the last stair and no longer at the risk of tripping over each other's feet, Roxas released Axel's hand and flung himself at the woman who stood at the front door, leaving the redhead to stand awkwardly on the sidelines. The woman looked to be in her mid-thirties, a sly, charming smile gracing her features as she took the blonde into her arms and spun him around, her beach-waved chestnut locks flowing behind her and rattling with the beds placed on a few strands. When she put Roxas back down she regarded him with glimmering moss green eyes that stood out against her caramel complexion. She ruffled his mop of golden locks, exposing a large black tattoo on her bicep as her sleeve rose.

"Been a long time since I've seen you, eh?" she said, voice laced with a mildly faded Australian accent. "Sorry I couldn't be here for Christmas—you know how work is, flyin' all over the place,"

"It's fine, you didn't miss much," Roxas said, grinning. "Cloud got here late Christmas eve, pissed mom off. Dad got drunk on Christmas and pissed off Lightning who was already tipsy, and you know how she gets,"

"Yeah, your Dad called me blubbering about Light beating him up. Says he would've fought back if he could hit a girl, but I call bullshit," she snorted. "But look at you! Have you grown at all?" she said, poking and prodding and turning the other around. "They don't have your Struggle up there to keep you busy, and you know Hayner will get all emotional if he finds out you had noodle arms now. Speaking of struggles, where's your brother?"

As if a trigger had sounded, a stampede started on the floor above and quickly transitioned onto the stairwell. Not two seconds later, Sora had thrown himself at the woman much the same way Roxas had, only he refused to let go after the initial twirl.

"Good to see you, too, Sora," the woman said, patting the brunet on the back as he continued to squeeze her. Looking over his shoulder, she grinned and winked at the silver-haired man who had just descended the stairs at a much calmer pace. "And Riku, as dashing as ever. You and So finally made it official, eh?"

Riku rolled his eyes but smiled all the same. "Hello, Fang,"

She threw back her head, laughing. "About damn time! All the things me and Roxas pulled trying to get you two—"

"What?" Sora questioned suspiciously as he placed himself properly on his own two feet. He glanced between Fang and his brother, who coughed into his sleeve and pointedly avoided his gaze.

"—But of course Riku was all 'I want him to fall in love with me because he wants to, not because the two of you concocted some backwards plan. If the fates want us together we will be!'" she mimicked in a mockingly baritone voice. Across the room Riku glared, what looked like a barely pink smudge across his pale cheeks. Must've been a trick of the light.

"You and Roxas played matchmaker?" Sora asked incredulously. Fang glanced over to the blonde before realizing her mistake, making a half-assed attempt to 'correct' herself.

"Namine, I definitely meant Namine,"

"You played matchmaker with Fang?" he was interrogating Roxas now, who was twiddling his thumbs nervously.

"Mayb—"

"I knew you cared about me, Roxy!"

"The only reason I did it was so Riku would stop moping around all the time—I couldn't cope with his hormones," Roxas stated, finding a spot on the carpet surprisingly interesting. He was pretty sure it was a blood stain, actually, whether it be from the time Cloud knocked Kadaj's teeth out during a particularly nasty brawl during high school, or the time Sora and Roxas had come home with multiple gashes when they decided it would be a good idea to go down the giant hill in the park, both on the same scooter.

"He's lying," The silver-haired man stated, jutting his chin out haughtily. "Roxas likes to forget we're not all little girls like him,"

"Oh really? Well I can always call Hayner and ask him how many times I had to bail on him because I had to babysit you when you magically appeared in my room while Sora was on a date. Or we could just go check my pillows—I'm sure the tear stains are still there," Roxas shot back.

"You promised you wouldn't tell," he hissed lowly.

The blonde smirked cruelly, leaning forward slightly in a taunting matter, "Oopsies,"

With an uproarious shout of frustration, Riku stormed off into the kitchen, not without flipping Roxas the bird. Sora hurried behind his boyfriend, trying to reassure him. "I think that it's sweet that you cried over me, Riku!"

"_Shut up, Sora!_"

"Way to go, Rox," Axel laughed, more than happy to enjoy the silver-haired man's suffering. Just last week, Riku had attempted to sneak black hair dye in Axel's shampoo and, as universal law pertains, one does not fuck with a Strey's hair.

"And who's this?" the woman asked with a raised brow, finally alerted of his presence. "Did ya finally dump that Seifer kid, Roxas?"

Roxas rolled his eyes, mumbling something under his breath about broken records and people needed to mind their own damn business. Returning to Axel's side, he tugged the redhead forward none to gently by a death grip on his upper arm.

"This is my _friend_: Axel. We go to school together," the blonde growled. The overemphasis on 'friend' probably should have shot down Axel's hopes and dreams, but it just so happened that Axel was determined and would forever persevere. Roxas would come around eventually; no one could resist his charm.

And if someone was to ask Axel's childhood therapist, she would confirm that his habit of lying to himself had been around for quite some time and was a subconscious coping mechanism, a way he dealt with his crushing reality. In this situation, said reality being that the object of his affections was taken.

"Axel, this is my aunt: Fang. She's Cloud and Namine's mom,"

"It's nice to meet you, ma'am," he said, attempting to sound calm as he offered a hand. In reality he wanted to do a double take, being that the woman hardly looked a day over thirty five and was, apparently, mother to both a senior and sophomore in college. That must've been some damn good anti-aging cream. Then, of course, there was a smaller part of his brain that had put two and two together and guessed that this was probably the aunt who had, according to Roxas, punched Seifer's lights out. Here, he was stuck at a cross-road between giving the woman a congratulatory hug or cover his gonads and hope the woman liked him enough not to beat him when no one was looking.

Fang studied the redhead for a moment of scrutinizing agony before she broke out in peels of laughter, slapping her hand in Axel's and giving it a firm shake. "Since when do you hang out with such yuppies, Roxas? _'Ma'am'_!" she snorted. "No offense to you, or anything—Axel, was it? Just expected something different,"

"He's not a yuppie, Fang, he's just being polite," Roxas retorted. "Something people with cooth do, but you wouldn't know anything about that,"

Fang released Axel's hand to pinch her nephew's cheek, baby talking. "Someone's a little grumpy?"

"'Expected something different'?" Axel repeated curiously as Roxas slapped away Fang's intrusive hang with an utterance of 'bitch' to which the woman shoved him playfully.

"Oh yeah, Roxas talked all about you when he was home last. 'Axel this, Axel that," the woman said with a suggestive smile, clearly enjoying the torment of the blonde. Axel perked up at this; Namine had mentioned Roxas talking about him but he figured the girl had just been over exaggerating.

"I did not," Roxas squawked.

"Did so!"

"You weren't even there!"

"Light told me," she stated triumphantly, to which Roxas returned to muttering darkly under his breath, glancing uneasily at Axel every so often.

"You're probably just nervous, though, eh?" she turned to the redhead with a surprisingly sympathetic smile. "Been there, done that; luckily Snow, that's the twins' Dad, and I got to go through that hell together,"

"You knew their dad before?"

"Oh yeah, we go way back. I was the one who—"

"Fang!"

The woman jumped as the front door slammed open with all of the viscous fury of a menopausal woman in unison with the sudden shout. Rather than a fifty year old woman, however, the person standing in the doorway with a bag of groceries at her hip was relatively young and attractive…if you looked past the rage. Axel had been subject to a very similar anger doled out by his mother throughout his childhood and was smart enough to take a cautious step back, as did Roxas.

Fang, however, remained in the same spot, grinning sheepishly. "Hey, b—"

"Don't. You. Dare," the woman hissed, pale pink bangs falling into her eyes but doing nothing to hide the inflamed dark blue.

"I was just—"

"No,"

"What's wrong?" Sora asked, head emerging from the kitchen upon hearing the commotion.

"Your lovely aunt here didn't think it necessary to help with the groceries when the car broke down up the street," the woman hissed vehemently.

"Trivial matters," Fang declared. "Why focus on that when our dearest nephews are here, and Riku, and Roxas', ahem, friend," The wiggling of eyebrows did not go unnoticed by Roxas, who groaned, or Axel, who was beginning to like this woman more and more.

"Go help Serah with the groceries. Snow is still trying to jumpstart the car," the pink-haired woman commanded. Once Fang was out the door she smiled at the pair in the living room. "Good to see you again, Roxas, and it's nice to meet you—Axel, right?"

Well wasn't he just oh so popular in the Villiers family. He only hoped he wouldn't become the topic of scandalous gossip. "Yeah, it's nice to meet you, too," Axel smiled politely, purposefully leaving off the 'ma'am' for fear of being mocked again.

"I'm Lightning, Sora and Roxas' aunt," she said without so much as a raised eyebrow at the redhead's reserved tone. After ruffling Roxas' hair gently she turned and disappeared into the kitchen to greet Sora and Riku properly.

"You honestly don't have to be so nervous, you know," Roxas stepped closer to the redhead, keeping his voice low to avoid being overheard by the group in the kitchen. "It's just my family, not a world summit meeting,"

"It might as well be," he grumbled as he crossed his arms with a huff. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Man up! You're blowing this way out of proportion,"

"I have to make a good impression, though," he whined, staring down into cerulean eyes, less than half a foot between him.

"Why?"

With his heart constrained in his chest like some bullshit romance novel written for desperate teenage girls and middle aged women, Axel was quite sure it was the gayest he'd felt in all nineteen year of his life. Not when he'd had his first time during his junior year with a boy who had not a care in the world and certainly none for Axel; Not when he wasted the summer after senior year in a club with Demyx, lusting and flirting with older men who would buy him drinks and end the night calling him a tease; Not even when he realized his feelings for Roxas weren't just fleeting like he thought.

Out of all those instances, it was now, standing before the man child at that awkward stage of life when one made a transition between being a boy and being a man, made even worse because Roxas still had boyish, though handsome features. Looking down at the blonde his sight was filled with elegantly disheveled hair that many people would spend hundreds of dollars to obtain the gel to have but he merely rolled out of the bed to obtain, the bluest eyes in existence, and a light smattering of freckles. There was concern in the shorter student's slightly sorrowed brow and the hand placed lightly on his upper arm.

It was in this instance that Axel realized and accepted the fact that he was simply fucked because he had fallen for this sadistic little blonde who, on top of everything else, was taken.

God _dammit_.

"Because it's your family," That wasn't to say he wouldn't stop trying, though.

Roxas laughed. "And why's _that_ so important?"

"Because you're important to me,"

And what was unnerving was that Roxas just stared. Instead of just carting off Axel's seemingly imbecilic behavior like he usually would and chocking it up to the redhead being dropped on his head as a child or simply being the fruit of the loom that he was, he just_ stared_, betraying no surprise or affection or disgust. Just stared with those two fucking blue eyes.

Axel was more than grateful when the front door slammed open for the umpteenth time.

"_My baby!"_

And Roxas was tackled by a mass of wavy pink hair.

-.-.-

Dinner at the Villier-Farron-Oerba Yun-Strife household was an interesting affair to say the least. Interesting in the way that the majority of them were some type of crazy and those who weren't really were but lived in denial and the others were nice enough to prolong the shattering of their hopes and dreams of living out life as a normal, functioning member of society. But, of course, that was but a pipe dream for anyone who was a part of, or even associated with, the family.

Because of the sheer lunacy that oft times occurred when the entire family sat down for a meal together, it was seen as something of an unspoken rite of passage. When a new person was brought home it was like being admitted into a cult, and that's why no one was over long enough to be involved in a family meal. The only person Roxas had ever allowed to stay was Zexion and Hayner, knowing they could handle the crazy. He preferred to spare his other friends from possible traumatization, however, conveniently having them out of the house by dinner or in far after it was over. Sora followed the same rules, as did Cloud and Namine in their own home.

Maybe they were overdramatic, but better safe than sorry.

So bringing Axel to Twilight Town for Spring Break was kind of a big deal unless they planned on going to Taco Hell for dinner every night—which they didn't. Roxas loved the 'not-quite-meat' meat and cheesy, fiesta goodness, but after one too many high nights in the drive-thru, his stomach, large intestine, and asshole all began to rise in revolt.

Roxas figured the redhead would fit right in with the concentrated psychotic that was his family, but with the nervous jitters that seemed to be spilling off Axel in disastrous waves, he wasn't so sure he'd be up for it. The blonde had tried to soothe his fears repeatedly, but it never seemed to reach Axel. Roxas knew he was just trying to make a good impression, that for some reason this was so overwhelmingly important to him (_"You're important to me"_ to be overanalyzed and nit-picked at a later hour) but if he were to just act like the flaming, vanilla coffee loving man he was, things would be just fine.

Roxas figured worrying about it wouldn't do much good.

After his mother had tackled him to the living room floor and done the necessary amount of tearless sobs of joy, she had attacked Axel as well, slapping away the hand he had stuck out as he introduced himself. He'd gotten as far as "Hi my na—" before he was assaulted with a hug and a surprisingly strong Mrs. Villiers.

"I know who you are, silly," she has stated sweetly before tittering off to the kitchen to repeat much of the same process with Sora and Riku. Soon after, his Dad had come in carrying the bulk of the groceries and not bothering to quiet his bitching about it along with the 'piece of shit' car.

The next hour and a half had been spent cooking, the twins prohibited from going anywhere near the kitchen, which meant their time waiting was spent sitting in Sora's room playing a marathon of Soul Calibur 5. So far, Riku and Roxas had gone head to head and double KO'd each other 3 times while Sora and Axel sulked, accusing the other pair of cheating.

"This is a load of bullshit!" Sora declared as he threw his hands up in the air, Xbox controller still in hand.

Sitting on the bean bag beside the bed, Riku smirked, "Just because you suck—"

"I am _fantastic_!" he hollered as he thrust a finger in his boyfriend's face. "You can teleport! That's the only reason you won,"

"Your character could teleport, too, Sora," he explained. Sora looked nothing short of shocked.

"What? How?"

"Y and B,"

"I want a rematch!"

"Not now, short stack," Axel said as he reached down from his seat atop the bed to pluck the remote from Sora's hands. He returned to the character selection as Riku handed his controller off to Roxas.

"Right now, Axel wants to get his ass kicked again," the blonde snickered, going through the necessary screens before the start of the battle. Axel shoved him playfully.

"I wouldn't be so cocky, Roxanne, you're going down," a lecherous grin spread across the redhead's face as he leaned forward, doing more than violating the other's personal space as he stopped with a mere centimeter between their faces.

"Bring it, flamer,"

"You know, the whole competitive flirting thing you two have got going on is really cute and all, but your match started already," Riku said as Sora, having moved to sit in his lap, laughed impishly. Roxas made a mental reminder to push the pair down the stairs later as he turned to the TV and the armed characters waiting on screen.

"_Complete_ bullshit!" Axel claimed two minutes later, staring at the screen in belief. It really shouldn't have been that much of a surprise considering he'd lost all the other rounds against Roxas, but there was always something to be surprised about. The first round it was the obvious fact that the blonde was an expert at Soul Calibur, giving Axel reason to believe he had spent many hours holed up in his room playing it and had been holding out on him. And now the surprise was that he had been beat by a manic depressive character who beat herself with her own weapon on multiple occasions and probably shared certain qualities with her blonde controller as far as anger management problems went.

"Ba-_zing_! I win again," Roxas cheered, throwing his hands up and flashing two peace signs, taking care of the necessary lame that needed to be exerted each day. From the beanbag Sora snorted mid-laugh and Riku chuckled silently.

"Hand it over," the silver-haired teen said, holding his hand out to Axel, who hugged the controller protectively.

"Screw you, I want a rematch. Munchkin over here cheated,"

"_What_ did you call me?"

"If Axel gets a rematch I want one, too!" Sora declared, jostling around in uncoordinated flails in attempt to get up but only causing Riku a considerable amount of pain with his bony butt in the process.

"Boys! Dinner!"

Said boys sighed in resignation as the shout of Serah Villiers reached them. It was go downstairs now or be threatened later and get dragged downstairs in an undoubtedly unpleasant manor that either included Kadaj's sexual harassment administration or Fang's uncanny ability to tug four ears simultaneously.

"Guess no one gets a rematch then," Roxas dropped onto the floor in an army-esque rolled, landing in a crouch and reaching over to turn off the Xbox as everyone got to their feet. As they stepped into the hallway, the scent of the first homemade meal any of them had been within a ten yard proximity to in the past month was enough to get them hightailing down the stairs.

"You guys act like you haven't seen food in years," Lightning commented with a hint of amusement at their stampede like entrance.

"Basically," Sora harrumphed as he plopped into a vacant seat. "Not real food at least,"

"Well you boys can always come home to get a real meal," Serah said as she helped Snow at the stove, pouring something or other over what looked to be some type of meat. Axel really didn't give a damn so long as it wasn't tofu and didn't taste like concentrated asshole—hell he might eat it even then, it just smelled too damn good. "Campus isn't that far away,"

"Gas is expensive, mom," Roxas whined as he slumped in his seat, staring at his plate listlessly. If the food would just carry itself from the dishes set out onto the table to his plate that would be really fantastic. _Accio-everything-edible-on-the-table._

"You have a job," the woman deadpanned, her tone making it clear that 'poor-college-student syndrome' was not a valid excuse for not coming home more often. "You should be lucky you live so close to home. Axel, dear, where do you live?"

Axel perked up, having been on the losing-side of a staring match with a bowl of mashed potatoes. He glanced at Serah, the woman with the same soft features as the twin's. Axel would dare say the only thing they got from their father was the eye color, and for Roxas the hair, as well, everything else seemed to be a gender-altered image of their mother. "Oblivion,"

"See! Oblivion—that's _states _away! Just think if there was that much space separating you and your momma," Roxas rolled his eyes at this as Sora gave an exasperated 'We know, mom'. The woman gave them an amused look before turning back to Axel, once more. "If you're ever feeling homesick you're always welcome here, hun,"

Axel smiled, nodding his thanks despite feeling slightly uncomfortable—the woman was just so damn nice. To think Satan's spawn had come of her womb—that was ironic in of itself. "Thank you, ma'am,"

She sighed, "If only my boys were as polite as you,"

"See, Fang? _Polite_—not a yuppie," Roxas shot across the table at his aunt who merely grinned in response. Lightning, however, was quick to punch the other woman in the arm—at lightning speed some would say. _Ha_. Axel had come to accept the fact that he was funnier than other people and was on such a high level of hilarity that others merely couldn't begin to comprehend, much less appreciate, what he did.

"You called him a _yuppie_?" Lightning inquired incredulously.

"I was only joking!"

"Well he is," Riku drawled from his end of the table. Axel aimed a glare passed the two twins to the silver-haired man.

"Shut up, Riku, I'd rather be a yuppie than a drag queen,"

"_What!"_

"I've been in your dorm, Riku. You have a fucking vanity; no regular man should have that in their living space. Plus I've seen all the hair products you use,"

"You use just as much as me!"

"Doesn't count, all those hairspray cans in my bathroom are empty,"

"That doesn't change the fact that you used them," Riku pointed out. Axel regarded the other with a 'duh' look on his face.

"Obviously. But it's still only one product, compared to your zillions—"

"There's like ten!"

"So you admit it!" Axel exclaimed, pointing a finger at the boy and grinning in victory.

"Alright, shut it, ladies," Snow barked as he placed the last dish on the table. He turned back to the counter, pulling off his tie-dye oven mitts and cooking apron—totally not lady-like in the least. Under his breath, he muttered, "I don't know why all my sons' friends are faggots,"

"_Snow!_" Serah squeaked, eyes wide with horror.

Fang grinned, "'Cause your sons are faggots,"

Snow glared at her, taking his seat at the end of the table as Serah did the same opposite him, "You're one to talk,"

"Hey, don't get defensive, my son's a faggot, too," she shrugged.

"_Mom!"_

"It's true though, honey," Lightning said, glancing at the blonde. "Just accept yourself for who you are,"

"Yeah, Cloud, just accept yourself, we all do," Kadaj leered at his side, earning a rough shove onto the floor from the gay-man in question.

"You know 'faggot' is an offensive term, Dad," Sora pointed out and waved a forkful of salad in his father's direction as if that would get it across. The man rolled his eyes, his gaze ending up on Axel.

"Are you offended?" he asked, and before Axel could so much as open his mouth to answer barreled on, "That's unfortunate, I apologize—"

"Oi, what about me?" Riku questioned.

"Shut up, Riku, you've mooched off of me for 18 years, I can call you whatever the hell I want," he snapped before turning back to the redhead. "Like I was saying before I was interrupted,"—insert glare at Riku—"I apologize if you were offended, but if you plan on sticking around, you're gonna have to deal with it,"

Axel grinned, "I plan on it,"

"Well then toughen up,"

"Already a callous,"

"Good," he glanced at Roxas, smiling slightly as he jerked a head in Axel's direction, "I like this kid,"

Roxas laughed lightly, "His name's Axel,"

"I like you, Axel," Snow said with a stern nod.

"Glad to hear it," he smiled.

"Aw, you've got Snow's approval," Kadaj cooed across the table. "You and Roxas might as well get married now,"

"And you should stop beating around the bush and tell Cloud how much you want to do him, already," Roxas deadpanned and shoveled a clump of mash-potatoes in his mouth.

Kadaj cocked a brow, smirking, "Who says we haven't already?"

Cloud began to choke as Fang made to get up from the table, placing her hands on the table and pushing herself up slightly, "Time to go kill Sephiroth,"

"Stop," Lightning said without looking up from her plate. After slipping a piece of roast into her mouth and swallowing, she continued, "We'll do it after desert,"

"What's wrong with me?" the elder silver-sibling inquired, clearly offended, as Fang contently took her seat once more.

"It's you," Lightning drawled.

"Riku's doing Sora!" he explained, motioning wildly to the couple at the opposite end of the table, the shorter of which turned cherry red as the other merely smirked.

"Sora isn't my son," Lightning pointed out. "And, besides, Riku's a good boy,"

"So am I!"

"Why are we talking about this at the dinner table?" Serah sighed, resting her forehead in her palm. Axel wasn't sure about anyone else, but he was having a hell of a time.

"Don't try to pretend like you're normal just because there's someone new, Mom. Axel's a freak, too," Roxas said.

"I _am_ not," the redhead defended, but after a pointed look from Roxas he relented, shrugging. "Okay so maybe I am,"

"Oh, good then," the woman perked up. "So, Axel, would you like to provide us with your file or should I go ahead and call my private detective to do a background search,"

And he wasn't sure if he should laugh or not.

-.-.-

"I understand why you're so bitter," Axel said solemnly, leaning against the door and spreading his arms across it as if to keep out a monster. Considering this was the Villiers house, he kind of was. The rest of the house was suspiciously quiet, who knew what kind of plotting could be going on.

"Shut up," Roxas laughed, reaching for his Heartless toy but thinking better of chucking the thing again. Instead, he clutched the plush toy to his chest and sat on the bed.

"But the pieces are all falling into place!" he exclaimed with a flourish. "Your anger, contempt for all living things, scathing sarcasm—It all makes sense now! It's all because of a harsh childhood, I don't know why I didn't realize it sooner," He fell onto the bed face first, the force causing Roxas to bounce slightly and end up closer to Axel once he had settled.

"I don't what you're talking about, I've got weirdo parents, antisocial cousin, lesbian aunts, psychotic neighbors—I'm living the American Dream, really," Roxas sighed dreamily, placed a hand daintily over the cavity where his heart supposedly was. The vote was still out on whether or not he actually had one.

"Our founding fathers would be proud," Axel said with a sharp nod. Roxas saluted the air. "They were all banging each other, by the way,"

Roxas laughed as he fell onto his back in order to lay next to the redhead. "Think so?"

"Totally. You don't spend that much time locked up in Independence Hall, writing the Constitution together without anything happening. Plus, it was hot as hell; much clothes couldn't have been worn,"

"I can dig it," Roxas agreed, staring at the ceiling. "Washington owed Franklin, after all. I mean, we all would've been fucked if Franklin hadn't gotten the French to save our ass," he nodded, seemingly to himself. "Washington was definitely his bitch.

"That's sick!" Axel laughed. "Franklin was like eighty something,"

"Old man was getting it in,"

"Living the life," he chuckled. "Hope my sex life is as good as his when I'm that old,"

Roxas wrinkled his nose, suppressing a laugh. "Ew, wrinkly old Axel balls,"

"You mean 'yum, wrinkly old Axel balls'," Because, really, who wouldn't think just that.

"No, I don't think so," Or not.

"Okay, how about just 'yum, Axel balls'," he grinned, waggling his eyebrows to which Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Oh_, baby_," he drawled dryly as he wiggled his hips and Axel had to force himself to keep his gaze above the belt. "In your dreams,"

"Only the special ones," Axel winked when Roxas glanced over.

"Friends aren't supposed to fantasize about other friends," he swatted the redhead's arm playfully.

"Oh, but Roxy, we could be so much more it only there wasn't a certain douchebag in the way," he teased. "But I could take care of him easily, just say the word,"

"Be my guest,"

Axel sat up slightly, perching himself on his elbows so he could look at Roxas properly. The blonde avoided his gaze, fiddling with the string that had conveniently come lose on the stitching of his Heartless. Axel raised a brow, reluctant to ask the question that had been on his mind for some time but wanting to know the answer, anyway. "Why don't you just break up with him?"

"Because," he huffed.

Axel rolled his eyes, sitting up. He crossed his legs, knee resting on Roxas' stomach. "Because why?"

"Because he's my boyfriend,"

"But…he wouldn't be if you broke up with him,"

"What does it even matter to you?" the blonde snapped, glaring at the redhead who remained unfazed. Compared to early morning, sleep deprived, pre-coffee Roxas, 'touchy-about-my-relationship' bitch Roxas was nothing. Sure, the Heartless antenna looked pretty sharp, but if he lost an eye, he could always ask Xigbar for an eye patch.

"Just want to see you happy, Rox," he hummed, flicking the blonde in the head. "Now stop being a brat,"

"I'm not being a brat!"

"Yes you are,"

"Am not!"

"Are too,"

"Shut up, flamer,"

"Oh how you wound me," he rolled his eyes. "Midget,"

"Bitch,"

"Faggot,"

"At least I don't read cosmopolitan,"

"I was looking for ways to please my man," Axel smirked. "Maybe you should read it, get some tips. Better yet, send it to Sei—Fuck!" he cried as he was smacked rather harshly across the face with a pillow, effectively knocking him off the bed.

Roxas peeked over the edge of the bed, a grin on his face. "Whoops,"

Horror was personified as Axel slowly climbed to his feet, pleasant smile in place. "Oh it's on,"

Roxas let out an unmanly squeak (one that's existence would be denied for years to come) as he scrambled back in an attempt to get as far away from the redhead as possible. Unfortunately for him, that meant nearly falling off the bed himself. When Axel caught his wrist, he might've been inclined to thank him any other time but now only struggled to get away from him, preferring a rug burn on his face than torture via Axel.

"You're not getting away that easily, Blondie," Axel cooed as he yanked the other closer. In an instant he had pinned the blonde face down on the bed, straddling his back and keeping the younger's arms trapped under his knees. He then enacted the ultimate form of torture…and began to tickle.

"Axel—" Laugh. "S-Stop—" Laugh. "Oh my god—" Laugh. "Asshole!" Laugh. Axel continued to cackle as he ran his fingers fleetingly over Roxas' neck and ribs, squeezing his sides lightly as the blonde made fruitless attempts to squirm out of his grip. Only when the door swung open did Axel stop his administrations—Roxas sighing gratefully—long enough to glance up at Riku and Sora.

The brunet blinked, "Kinky,"

"I knew you two had to be having sex," Riku said and leaned back into the hall slightly. "Pay up, Cloud!"

"Goddammit!" Came the instant reply.

"We're not having sex!" Roxas squawked as he shoved Axel off of him, the redhead too busy laughing to do much about it.

"Well, obviously; you still have clothes on," Riku smirked. "But you were clearly on your way,"

Axel continued the behavior of a hyena as Roxas' cheeks gradually turned from neutral, to pink, to a light shade of red, glaring at Riku for all he was worth. "I hate you,"

"Ah, but you still haven't denied the foreplay," he pointed out as he waggled a finger. At his side, Sora laughed and hip-checked him lightly.

"Stop teasing my brother,"

"But I'm so good at it," Riku said as he wrapped an arm around Sora, kissing the top of his head by means of apology.

"And I'm good at making spit look like butter on your pancakes at breakfast," Roxas growled. Axel mirrored Riku, slinging an arm over the blonde's shoulders.

"Chill, Rox. They already know, we might as well own up to it,"

Roxas groaned and shoved himself up off the bed, storming out of the room and down the hall. "You all suck!"

"Oh, come on, Roxas, don't be a baby!" Sora laughed as he followed his brother out. "We're having a sleepover in the basement so you can't be cranky for that!"

"You know one day he's going to realize you coming onto him isn't just a joke," Riku said as he leaned against the doorframe, regarding Axel with a careful gaze. The other laughed humorlessly, running a hand through his hair.

"All the better for me, then I won't have to grow the balls to tell him myself and get my ass rejected,"

Riku rolled his eyes, "Fucker, it's obvious he likes you,"

"Tell him that," Axel snorted. "And his boyfriend for that matter, too,"

"Seifer's a dick," stated Riku. "And Roxas deserves better than him,"

"Aw, big brother Riku,"

"Whatever, Lover-boy," he laughed as he pushed off the frame and turned into the hall, Axel following behind him. "At least I've got my boy,"

-.-.-

"The time is approximately 7:29 p.m. and we have just finished dinner, the subjects in questions are currently up in one of the subject's bedroom. Now, I, Sora Strife, call this order to meeting, to be adjourned as soon as possible to avoid being caught and having vital body organs removed by the hands of one temperamental subject," the brunet clasped his hands on the now clean kitchen table, glancing at those who sat with him. He nodded to the woman at his right. "If you would,"

"The aforementioned subjects in question are one Roxas Villiers and one Axel…" Lightning looked at Sora.

"Strey," he provided.

"Yes, Strey. Now, all those present are here on the common understanding that one Seifer Almasy needs to be eliminated from Roxas Villier's life, correct?"

"I'm not so sure we should be toying with the boy's love life like this," Snow said, brows furrowed.

"You hush," Serah demanded, swatting the air surrounding her husband and taking a sip of her tea. "He came out of my womb I can do whatever the hell I want. Besides, that Almasy boy is a dick—my son can do better,"

Riku snorted. "Truer words never been spoken,"

"Okay, all those in favor of an intervention?" Fang asked, eyebrow quirked. Simultaneously 'I's came from around the table, one belated from a reluctant Snow. The dark-haired woman glanced at Sora, nodding.

The boy grinned, "Alright, so here's what we're going to do…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: I hope you this entertained you guys enough not to throw bricks at me and instead to leave a review.

* * *

><p>Anonymous Replies:<p>

**Destry**: I could never abandon you guys-you're my reason to breath! Kindasortamaybe. LIABFASFUI I think I always say it but I'm glad it made you laaauuugh /weeps. I'm so paranoid this shit isn't funny ; A ; AND SHIT WILL GO DOWN. It was supposed to go down this chapter. But I guess you guys will just have to wait 'til next time, HAHA.

**Luraherper**: lasigbalisgb back to you, fffffff, thank you so much I don't deserve all the compliments.


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